‘Before you head off to the shops, I have a task for you.’
Alice sits before him on the edge of their bed, halfway through putting on her leggings.
She catches the edge in his voice. He’s slipped into their dominant. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes.
‘Take those off.’
No matter how long they’ve been together – the blush always comes creeping, burning into her cheeks. She nods, feeling her slave self taking over. Her hands hook around the edges of her leggings and peel them away, revealing her bare legs.
From behind Charlie came a black marker. He knelt down before her.
Before her bare legs.
Before her purple lace panties.
Fuck. He hadn’t even touched her yet and she wanted to push him back and rub her pussy on his leg greedily. Eagerly.
Could he see that in her eyes?
The marker lid popping off cut through the air — and Alice’s body tensed. Her jaw clenched.
‘Be still, my pet.’ Charlie seemed to purr. He slid the marker around in his fingers so that the end of it trailed along her slit – defined through her panties, much to her sudden, unexplainable embarrassment.
Alice felt each second pass as Charlie ran the marker along the length of her slit.
Her fingers twitched — a primal instinct to reach down and find her clit.
She desperately wanted to.
Charlie’s eyes were on her. Holding her still on the edge of the bed.
She wanted to ask what He wanted already but all words failed her.
The pressure of the marker’s edge against her slit vanished.
‘Write this for me.’ Charlie said, handing her the marker. ‘Obedient.’
Alice swallowed hard. She desperately wanted to play.
Instead, she took the marker from him.
‘Is she?’
Alice fought the urge to raise her hips off the bed. An impulse to grind into him.
More than this came the impulse to peel off her panties and show her freshly trimmed self to him. Hear him praise her cute self.
‘Yes, Sir.’
‘Good. Take this piece of me with you so that you feel me there as you walk. So that a reminder is with you – of your own magnificent light in this world. Oh and — grab your toy.’
It wasn’t always there. The primal came first, growling and spitting and grinning like a sadistic mad man for the thrill of the chase. But I realised through my affinity for nature and nudity and collars, I had an owner in me with the eagerness to connect to another likeminded animalistic soul.
Pet play, for those unfamiliar, is where a submissive adopts a beautiful animal persona – it could be one they feel drawn to on a spiritual level or one they want to roleplay as. This roleplay may involve collars, leashes, masks, crawling, leg humping and other characteristics of an animal. And all the while a Dominant becomes their owner. They can play fetch, they can wrestle, they can do what a pet and owner would like to do together. They lead the submissive. Punishes them or praises them. It’s kink wrapped up in roleplaying as the animal.
Sounds primal, right? Well, it is in a way. It overlaps. But where primals involve two people tearing off the masks they wear in daily life and engage as free, untamed spirits, Pet Play dives into that Owner/pet dynamic. In saying that, I’m sure primal and pet play dynamics intertwine in ways that suit anyone’s dynamics. It’s all different dynamic to dynamic.
I . . . THINK I’M CURIOUS ABOUT THIS . . .WHAT NOW?
What if you are? There’s nothing wrong at all with being drawn to this. It’s absolutely normal. The first thing you can do is — Ask yourself what traits come to you? What animal comes to mind? Look back on who you’ve been when you’re alone or with a partner or close friends or even playing with a pet? Have you wanted to lick someone out of pure, energetic affection? Have you ever growled or play whined or meowed playfully? Maybe you’ve gotten on all fours to bunt your cat hello.
This is how I knew I was animalistic. I would roll around on the floor with my dogs. I would rub my head against my cats’ to greet them. I nuzzle fresh pillows and absolutely hate the feel of clothes on my skin. And I would growl if I was feeling unhappy.
Alllll these little traits in me that I didn’t connect until I started learning about being primal.
Again I ask: if you’re considering
Is it dehumanising? Can’t you do it? Why is it degrading? You’re tapping into deep, primal instincts. This makes you happy. How can that be wrong? How can that be a mental illness? This is a slice of your love language, yeah? This is how you want to be, how you express connection and affection. Embrace it. Own it. It’s gorgeous. So are you. So what animal are you?
I…GOD HELP ME, I WANT TO TRY — BUT WHAT NOW?
So okay, you have traits. You want to growl or whine or bite or crawl. You have SUCH A LONGING for it — but then your parental locking kicks in. Society whispers in your ear. You start to feel weird or ashamed. Your thoughts run the gamut of emotions — how many of these questions do you recognise asking yourself or telling yourself — That’s degrading! Dehumanising! I can’t do that. What does that say about me if I do? What kind of person am I? What kind of husband or wife or partner or mum or dad
If you find yourself asking these, I invite you to breathe deep and take a moment to starve off panic. Ask yourself and be honest — Why is it degrading? You’re tapping into deep, primal instincts. This makes you happy. How can that be wrong? How can that be a mental illness? This is a slice of your love language, yeah? This is how you want to be, how you express connection and affection. Embrace it. Own it. It’s gorgeous. So are you. So what animal are you?
We – humanity, you, me – we are capable of such shame when it comes to kinks and how we want to love and express ourselves. This is new, exciting and terrifying territory and I know it’s hard to let go of that but break it down, take it one day and step at a time: Today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow.
You can always take 15 minutes out of your day to sit with the feeling. Find a safe space – the bedroom, the shower – and undress. Kneel. Go on all fours. Chitter. Meow. Nuzzle your pillow.
I say undress because for me that helps put my mind in the present. It’s confronting, it’s back to basics. I’m alert and therefore alert to what comes to my mind.
Your first impulse will be — I sound stupid, this is stupid, I feel silly. When I growled, when that deep rumble vibrated in my throat and chest, I felt like an idiot. This is dumb, I thought. I’m insane. How can I keep doing this? I couldn’t get out of my head. I felt abnormal.
I had to sit with this animalistic side. I had to growl again. And again. AND AGAIN until I got used to it — much like dipping into a pool, only naked. Getting used to the change. It took time but IN TIME I learned to fucking adore freeing myself with a growl.
So…have you thought about what speaks to you? Is it a bowl? A collar? A leash? If you’re still struggling, maybe start with what animal you feel your personality takes on? Are you a cat? If so, lift your butt into the air as you stretch of a morning. All the identifying cats out here reading this practice a Mrow? All the identifying pups reading practice a Arf! Push bask against the silly feeling. Normalise that this is you. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop. Breathe. Take a break until you feel compelled to explore this again.
The best advice I can give is to go easy on yourself and your desires. You’re not alone. There are many like us. Many that will accept you — but first you need to accept your self. She / He wants to love you too.
So..sit with this side of yourself and get to know them. And — when you are ready, challenge yourself because yes, frowny face, you CAN challenge yourself.
How? Are you off for a shower? Undress and crawl on your hands and knees to the bathroom.
Want to explore an emotion? Grab a journal or pull up the notes app of your phone. Write what comes. Yes, even the bad thoughts. But! If they are bad, rewire them. Challenge them. Be KIND to your ass, yeah?
Break off what you want to do, piece by piece, and tackle it. Roar or growl or nuzzle fresh sheets. Allow yourself to feel, not think.
More than this, ask yourself what are you? What animal are you?
If you want to talk further on traits and animals and all things primal, write to me at darkanddominant@hotmail.com
If you want to write but are shy and constantly writing and rewriting an email message – put a ☘️ in the text / subject – and I’ll know you are struggling to reach out and I’ll write back! Take care!
Just A Quick Note: Hey-Ho.The following contains the theme of degradation and humiliation and the thrills we get with probing at our boundaries together. I know it’s not everyone’s cuppa so I thought I’d preface it as such.
I wrote this free-form. No looking back, no edits. Naked adventures with words to tap into that primal part of my brain.
The result is just one long piece like we, the reader, are eavesdropping on one side of a telephone call to a lover. I found it sexy. I hope you do too.
– TD&D
——
Hey you.
I’ve missed you all day.
You’re knocking off early?
Have you left the car park yet?
Do me a favour? Take off those work pants of yours.
Yes.
Yes, you’re driving home in those lilac lacy panties that you know make me fucking, achingly hard.
They’re what?
Violet?
Don’t you be a fucking sassbrat — take off your pants. I’ll wait.
Are they off?
Good.
Because I said so.
Because I like it when you squirm — and you like it too, so stop giving me cheek and run that hand along your adorable fucking slit.
There’s a good pet.
Oh goodness. Someone sounds a little soaked and turned on. Is it the rain outside? Does pup want to get naked and dance out under it?
I tell you what. You can when you come home.
Now, you’re going to pull that delicious fabric up between your slit. Good pup.
I’m going to be vulgar because that’s the word that comes mind — coat hanger that gorgeous cunt of yours on those panties.
I can’t keep my hands off my cock.
Thinking of how I want to suck on those smooth lips of yours.
God. Do I want to devour you.
Oh please. Feel free to moan.
And get driving. Traffic might be crazy.
I’ll be here in this realm of ours, I’m not going anywhere.
Oh my hand is on my cock, don’t you worry.
I think I’ll edge till you come home and—-
—- People might be looking?
How exciting. Let’s hope there’s no big fuck off cars then hey? Keep posting for me, pet slave.
Let me tell you how it’s going to.
You’re going to glide those lovely fingers of yours under your panties and along your slit.
You’re going to play — best you can, I know safety is paramount – until you pull on our drive way.
No, they’re not home.
It’s a quiet street.
When you get home, you may put your pants on but when you get to that front door, where that pillar hides us away, you’re going to undress and walk on through.
Then and only then will you be able to come for me.
After I come over your tits myself.
Oh please. Keep whining like a needy, greedy cumslut. It only makes me want to tease you for longer.
Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?
I like to incorporate it into my dominance but it’s not something like being primal, where I can’t live without that aspect.
It can be very sexy to me, in a scene and used in punishment, because I see it toying with the fantastical — you’re exploring a fantasy or if it’s a task you are doing and it flirts with exposure or some kind of humiliating task that you find sexy within the dynamic.
But it has to be something a submissive wants to explore as well. Something they find sexy or appealing, something that speaks to them as well as me.
I used to inflict it reluctantly — because I wasn’t sure or not if I had just gone into my villain arc, to use an anime reference as a joke.
But the more time I spent in the community – and indeed the more time I came to understand kink and my new friends and then my partner, who requested it – I grew comfortable with it because I could see both shades of our lives together, who we were inside and out of D/s. And that gave me peace.
Day 28 – Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?
There is a lot to unpack here with this one. A lot of these are pretty big questions!
Has my dominance ever failed me? Yeah, of course. Because of my anxiety / shyness. There have been times where I’ve been surprised by a submissive in jaw dropping lingerie and my ape brain just dies when she asks ‘what do you want to do with me?’
Asking that question tears open the multiverse. I see all paths and got lost in them and meanwhile I’m just staring. It’s…awkward but I’ve explained this to them either in the moment or after in a cuddle.
Have I ever been criticised or received negative feedback for my dominance? Yes and yes. Once by a random Dominant who said I wasn’t dominant at all — probably for not following his brand of dominance. Another time I was told to be more dominant by a random reader because I asked for a source for a picture I shared.
And I’ve been kinkshamed by another reader who lashed out at a fiction piece that featured degradation.
But! Beyond those opinions, I have received negative feedback from my kitten. In the beginning a mantra we had for her was just not working / satisfying. She wasn’t into it. And likewise with keeping a journal of her journey in the beginning. These were oversights for me as a young Dom.
I’d boil it down to a few things – Dom frenzy, a new relationship, just wanting to explore. And being naïve. I was young and dumb.
These were actually the things I looked back on, regretted and didn’t like. We changed them by talking about them, understanding each other more and basically dropping them because it was simply something she wasn’t into and was doing anyway, which is not what I wanted. I led wrong there.
What lesson did I learn? Slow down. Breathe. Think outside the box. Listen. Listen better. Keep on listening and asking and thinking. And communicating. We communicated through it, realised why it was awkward for now and found other exercises and tasks that felt more satisfying together.
Day 27 – Do you have Dominant desires or fantasies that you have yet to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
No. If I have something I want to explore I voice them to my partner. Otherwise they’ll take up rent in the back of my brain.
Some of my fantasies used to frighten me. I felt insane because it was so far removed from what my mum taught me, what religion taught me. I was taught to be a gentleman – well, kink and BDSM have a whole different definition of what it means to be a gentleman to a submissive and it’s this definition that I realised people wanted.
I used to shy away from degradation and humiliation. I used to wonder why that drew me in. It was only when I read others experiences with it, read that there were a lot more people out there wanting it that I realised it was okay under the circumstances of a thoroughly negotiated dynamic. It’s a weird thing to realise this is what you want but this is not how you want to talk to your partner outside of it. Fantasies, eh? Like movies we sit down in the dark to participate in.
But yeah, beyond that – I still have the occasional fantasy that catches me off guard but which I still write because it turns me on. It’s almost writing that comes as a stream of consciousness because a lot of the time those pieces are dreams.
Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express your Dominance? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Yes! My submissive!
No, I’m kidding. Kinda. Her brain and her body are wondrous things that bring my dominance out – the primal in me, the master me. All of it.
But then there are other things. A collar. A paddle. Her favourite toy. Sex toys in general, because I’m thinking about how I can use it and implement them into a scene.
But then, sometimes it’s also random things as well. I could be leaving for the shops and see a brick wall and think of fucking up against it and how the jagged edges would mark our bodies and feel delicious tomorrow. I’m a writer and my imagination is always active and I think that feeds the part of my brain that craves dominance.
All of these have significance because they get my mind thinking. Sometimes I like my mind – I’m thinking up writing, scenarios, ideas, tasks, dreaming of someone in those scenarios – and all the while I’m drafting this image and getting ready to paint it.
Day 24 – What are the emotions that most directly let you access your Dominance? What feelings do they inspire?
Awe. Adoration. Joy. Excitement. Happiness. Relief – at being naked, at being myself, at being in this dynamic with someone and connecting with them.
They inspire calmness, because I’m there with them.
They inspire trust and anticipation and a sense of Déjà Vu because honestly, I feel like I opened a book of a past life right in the middle. I’ve been here and that makes me feel serene and horny and happy.
It’s quite hard to wrangle those feelings into words. All I know is that it’s bliss. It’s euphoria. When I am in…well, any state of dominance, I feel like this right here…this is where I’m really supposed to be. It’s content…at being there, at seeing into the mind of someone else. I know it’s just another slice of the pie you can divide up into pieces of what your interests are — but it feels bigger than that. Bigger than me.
Maybe I’m just me born from a cosmic rearrangement, maybe I’ve lived before. Maybe I’m in a simulation on a star freighter moving onto the next Earth because this one has died and these are all memories from my dream consciousness — I don’t know. But it feels bigger in my heart and that makes it real that maybe, just maybe, I have lived and loved before as a dominant.
Day 23 – Is there anything about Dominance, either your own or what you see in others, which you question, dislike or are repelled by? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own Dominant needs and desires?
The one thing I do loathe about it – detest, hate, am infuriated by – has more to do with the person themselves than D/s — When people misuse it as a tool to power their own misogyny or selfish desires. Their greed and arrogance fuels them.
Too many times have I heard of a new sub, tackling frenzy and hearing this Dominant tell her or him this is how it should be, this is what you are and you’ll do what I want. It’s not a thing to be explored by the two of them, it’s just how it is, no questions.
Which, sure, can work — if both parties are privy to this and want this. A lot of the time it’s not though, and the behavior of the Dom becomes gross and abusive and it breaks my heart because we all come to kinks earnest and looking for light and comfort.
But did I question my dominance in the beginning? Oh sure. You feel so deeply, your desires that you want to explore. Because of the way we were raised or the loop of society and parents teaching parents and passing on and passing on, we wonder if we are wrong or evil or what have you – straight to hell, is what I was told.
So when you have a fantasy about something that goes against those teachings, it can make you feel really, really horrid and guilty. So much so that it took me a few years to come to terms with it.
I’ll tell you what I tell people starting off. What I eventually realised.
My kinks are a slice of love language. Its not the only way I show love but it’s a it is a piece of how I show tenderness or myself or how I care in a dynamic that is agreed upon and discussed thoroughly.
Tall, Dark and Dominant 