Sensory Overload

All it takes is for her to duck into the lounge room where I’m resting, completely nude, in all her mesmerising glory, to grab a head band for her bath —
And my mind is transported away.
She is chained to the bedroom, completely naked, her arms and legs spread apart.

There’s a bag over her head. Something new. Me being sadistic by toying sensory deprivation. She won’t be able to see. She won’t be able to quell any concern with a kiss. How long should I leave her with the bag on? Perhaps when the air runs low, when her mind is dazed, I could bring her to the brink of her orgasm — and as my mouth rests over her cunt, my tongue teasing her clit with small licks, I can remove the bag.

And as her senses rush back to her, her body seizes with all the power of an orgasm. 
The dizziness of the air rushing back to her melds with her pleasure. Maybe it’ll catapult her senses sky high. Maybe she might be elated. Soaring high into a space that’s beyond the norm but not beyond my reach.
I could bring her back with a gentle hug, soft words – and the reminder that I am in charge of her. And all that she is. 
And then I’m back in the lounge, a grin forms across my lips. I know just what to do. 


Do Not Be Afraid Of Who You Are

I’ve been in the lifestyle for a number of years – 12, technically. And yet, a number of those were me wandering in the dark scared of my own desire. Fearful of who I was. 
I’m much better now, with an open dialogue between the various aspects of my personality. But I still struggle. Whenever I am about to post, I am scared initially. Scared that one day, one thought will go too far. One story will be too rough. Or weird. 
I mean, I’ve written about sea creatures and vampires and sex cults and you guys are still here. But I still worry. 

And so today, I want to talk about fear.
For some, it starts at the beginning of your journey. You have a thought so effective that it scares you because of how you perceive it – that it’s weird or demented or troubling. 
Maybe it’s not just a thought, maybe it’s a mindset. A rape fantasy. A bondage fantasy. Maybe you’re a masochist and you’re trying to understand why you like sadistic concepts. 
Running from that thought won’t work. I tried. I ended back at square one face to face with the thought. And I’d feel guilty.
The trick, I think, is to begin to rewire your outlook. Day by day, steal a moment to yourself and think about what scares you. Remind yourself you’re not alone. That it’s okay to be the way you are.
For me, it was a long and slow process. I signed up to Fetlife. I challenged myself with nude photos. I dived into the local conversation. And day by day, I’d take a moment to read about it, in books, online. 
I think because I always kept the door open to learn, that eventually it became second nature to me. I felt okay being this weird mix of Daddy / Master / Primal.
Even though that’s my story and everyone is different, I feel like the keeping the door open notion is useful. Don’t run from it, keep one foot in the door and one foot in your comfort zone until you are ready to take a wander through entirely.
What we feel, who we are, is natural. It’s what makes us beautiful. Whether you’re interested in bestiality, like an old friend of mine once was, or whether you’re laying in bed married but out of sorts with your spouse. 
The first step is admitting these thoughts are okay. Are your own. The next step is up to you. You might fall or stumble but you’re stronger then you realise. You’ll be okay.
If you need help taking that initial step, if you want to run by a desire just to hear someone else let you know it’s perfectly fine, if you are confused, whatever the reason, you’re not alone. My email – my door – is always open.
Don’t be afraid to step through. 

One Morning: Non-Fiction

“What are you doing? My mum’s going to be over any minute now”It began as an early morning cuddle in bed.

Kitten snuck in while I was dozing and wanted to curl up for a moment before grabbing a coffee with her mum. 

And yet, as I awoke, so did something else in me, something primal.

We didn’t last long cuddling before I began kissing her neck and sliding my hand down her pyjama shorties. 

To my surprise, the little girl was absolutely soaked. So soaked that I could slide my finger in and finger in.

She resisted, you know that? “(Name retracted)!” She cried. “No! I’ve got to get ready!”

I started running my thumb along her clit.

“No, stop. She could be here any minute. You know she’s always early”

“You’re coming” was all I said, I believe. I’m not entirely sure.

 At that, she resigned herself to her fate. It was like my order, or the clarity in my voice, was enough to set her still. She laid there quietly.

Kitten was reduced to a quivering moan, soft and unlike her normal speaking voice.

We laid in silence as I worked her clit, circularly and then across her slit, until she spoke out of the silence.

“Will you make love to me?”

I was hard from her moans, from the fact that she was soaking her cute little shorties.

We undressed in silence and gently, I climbed onto of her. 

There’s a rare thing that happens when we make love. I can’t quite put my finger on it, except to say that it has never lost its appeal. Everything is still magical, from undressing her to sliding my cock inside her and feeling how bad she has it for me. 

We make love to the symphony that is our moans and soon she comes once. Then again. And another time, before I give her a chance to breathe.

As we lay there, satisfied, me somehow still holding it together despite being with a goddess, she asks me one small thing.
Can I use my toy, Sir?

I answer yes and her smile lights up the room. She loves to play for me, with me, and I love to watch her enjoy the toy I hand picked myself.
I must admit, I feel pride there. I know what she likes. I know how she likes to come. This toy gets her there. 

Together we play, side by side, in complete harmony, me edging while sucking on her tits. First I suck gently, then I bite a little hard. I alternate between her nipples, giving one a break so it becomes less sensitive and more equally built up to breaking point.

It’s my call to kneel above her and come on her tits and my god, it feels fucking amazing. I empty my load on her, my masterpiece and she can only lick her lips as she reaches her own orgasm. Her fourth. Or was that fifth? I can’t recall now. 

But isn’t she a good girl? Waiting for her Sir to come before she comes herself? Haven’t I taught her well? 

I think about this as we lay side by side, looking at each other. 

It’s then I can’t help myself: I tell her – next time, don’t resist me.

She grins and goes to shower before her mother comes over. 

30 Days of Dominance – Day #3: How Do You Know You’re Dominant?

Day 3 – How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?
When I first started being Dominant, I didn’t have a name for it. I just was this way in the bedroom. And as I went on into my twenties, I realised that wasn’t enough.

This is where I learnt that I was Dominant. Because I wanted this control beyond being sexual, because I wanted to dress her, collar her, degrade, humiliate, nurture. But I couldn’t. I was in a purely vanilla relationship heading on the path of pure normalcy. 

I know I am Dominant because when I couldn’t fulfil these desires, I became anxious. I became pent up, aggressive, depressed. I actually changed as a person. I became moody and quick to temper.
And I knew I was Dominant because when that relationship fell through and I had time to reflect and to experience my Dominance through the newly found Fetlife, which I’m still part of in a minor capacity if you wonder, it clicked. It was more than just needing release, it was something larger than that.
And when I expressed this all to my now girlfriend (kitten), then my friend of eight or so years, I realised the desires I had to do all these was real. Was more important than I realised. 
So how do I feel when Dominant? Alive, primal, animalistic, on fire, electrified, highly sensitive, sexual, sensual, intense. I feel like things are right. I feel like I made right choices to be here, with her. Sometimes I wonder how I got to this point, where I was out of my long term vanilla relationship and into this beautiful spot because It’s surreal and maddening and a dream. 

What Does It Mean To Be Dominant?

What does it mean to be Dominant? 
Being Dominant, to me, means to live with this insatiable desire to take control – of a scenario, of a submissive. It means to crave something deeper on a psychological level, on a raw level. A human connection, bonded by a unique level of trust, a love for kink and a desire to explore what makes us human. What makes us tick.
You see, it’s craving control of a submissive – but that means so many things. I crave to guide, to teach, to be a dad, to see her dress how I want, to fuck how I want, to care for her in my way. It means being a teacher, a lover, a friend, a father and soul mate.
It’s not just about a love for spanking, degradation, nipple clamps and bondage. It’s about the desire to know the submissive in a way that no one has ever known before. Think about what means for a moment – to explore what makes her human, what makes her a submissive, what makes her WANT. 
It’s about reaching deep down within her psyche, finding what that means or how that feels, and absorbing her. Every part of her mind, body and spirit. 
It’s about taking all of that and protecting it, like a knight, one that, in my case, definitely has chinks from my battles with my demons. 
And just so I’m clear, it’s not about seeing a submissive purely as an object. Not for me. I want to express, in my eyes, that the lifestyle comes with a romanticism there. Not only the desire to protect her but the desire to know her beyond any capacity she or I have experienced. I have great affection for the basic notion that is worshipping her, guiding her, protecting her and to fulfil her through my Dominant personality. 
It’s not about being an alpha. I’m not an alpha, I don’t feel like an alpha. To society, I’m you’re quiet guy, guarded and silent. I don’t dominate conversations, I don’t lead at work. I lead her. By the leash, by the collar.
I don’t want a regular relationship, I want the deeper feelings, the raw and intense encounters, the exposure for me and her that comes with that trust. 
I guess what I’m trying to say is that what being dominant means for me is to explore my humanity. To explore why I am the way I am, but also to live with the lifestyle, almost in a symbiotic relationship, because it needs me and I need it. Without it, I’m edgy. I’m lost, I’m angry and depressed. With it, I have balance. Harmony.

The Dominant’s Growl #8

A few months ago I started a Q/A post so anyone that wanted to ask questions, whether it be philosophical, musings or in the heat of the moment, can do so.

Now that I have a few new followers that might not be knowledgable on my customs or what have you, I thought I’d present the opportunity to ask me questions either through email or in the comments and I’ll respond in the next entry!
For now, here’s some questions for this week’s:

What are your basic philosophies in regard to D/s?

I think both the dominant and submissive need to be open to communication and to trust, but more importantly I think they both need to be open to change. A D/s relationship should challenge your beliefs and perceptions and together, you should find the universe like you’ve seen before. 
But to come down from my romantic mind, caution should be exercised as well, for there can be dangers present in both personalities, and dangers present in elements explored. 
A false dominant could teach a new submissive an unhealthy outlook whereas an unhealthy submissive could lead herself down negative paths. 

Sensitivity is key when exploring. No matter the topic. Always be aware of the idea that trial and error can come at a moment and that we are human. 
How much time are you willing to devote to training a new sub, and how much of her time would you require in return. Would you have daily contact with your submissive/slave?
I usually train for a month, possibly longer, just to familiarise my submissive with my practices to see how she responds and if she responds positively. Also, perhaps there’s something she makes me see that excites me and engages my mind. Maybe she can teach me. 
I’m a 24/7 man. I can’t help it. Having ownership of her, every part of her, every waking hour is both intensely erotic and satisfying on a deeper level. I crave it and without it, I’m all sorts of manic or edgy. So if a submissive wanted to choose me, it would be based on whether or not she is a 24/7 pet herself. Whether or not she wants to submit every detail of herself and her life for me. And I’m talking everything, every action, every item of clothing, every choice she makes, how she dresses, where she goes – everything. 
So yes, daily contact is a must. A definite. A holy-God-I-can’t-breathe-unless-I-know-she’s-wearing-those-cute-black-lacy-panties-that-ride-up-her-pale-ass feeling that vibrates within.
So, ladies and gents, anything and everything you want to ask is acceptable. There’s no taboo too sacred, no act too weird, no thought too vulgar – challenge me. I dare you. Take your best shot. I’ll be waiting. 

Punishment and the fear of failure

When my kitten and I first embarked on our first D/s relationship, one thing we encountered was that she was afraid of making an error and as such, behaved out of fear. One thing that should be established early on in the relationship is communication. There needs to an open channel between people so that everyone knows where they stand at all times. Because, you know, when people are exploring, there’s two different mindsets to that exploration and when it comes to Dominance or submission, there’s a dance there of minds that needs to come together in unison to create harmony.
So let me address failure in two different sections here, the first being from a Dominant perspective.
I think when starting off with a submissive that is new to the lifestyle and sensations, there needs to be room for error. 

What I did, and I realise this is just me, was allow room for error but with a gentle reminder. Which was followed with me asking, out of curiosity, if we were on the same page, if we understood the error and that she accepted it and trusted me to think it fair.

I think there needs to be an understanding of the training process and the ability to accept that there can be fault on both sides but especially within yourself.
For the submissive, I would encourage you to speak your mind every step of the way. Challenge your Dominant, they might appreciate the enquiry and they might even want you to be vocal, withdrawing their right to punish in order to learn and to adjust if need be.
There is no point in living in that dread and fear in what is your relationship. A little fear, perhaps, is healthy because that’s part of our brain chemistry and it’s there to protect us but if it’s anxiety inducing, I would sit down and be completely open about what it is you’re afraid of, even if it’s rambling.
If this Dominant is worth a damn, they’ll listen and take on board your feelings for the future.
This is all for now, I’m going to enjoy a post birthday evening. Should you wish to discuss more about this, I’m here in email or comments!