Thank You

I just checked my stats now and to my surprise I’ve hit 1000 followers – which is absolutely insane to think of. 1000 people. I was blown away with 1 person but 1000?

It means the world to me that my words have been able to connect with people, either to help or to meditate on their life or to arouse. Never in a million years, did I think anyone would be interested in what I had to share – or that I’d find lovely people to communicate with to make my world a little less lonely – it still floors me that someone thanks me for something so THANK YOU – for reading my writings, for reaching out and saying hello, for any critical conversations, for challenging my perceptions as a human being and as a dominant. Thank you!

To anyone I haven’t had the pleasure talking to, know that you are always welcome to write in to me, no matter the topic. My email or twitter DM is always open, you never have to feel insecure or inexperienced or silly around me, no matter age or nationality or language barrier. You’re always welcome!

But yeah, don’t congratulate me! This isn’t me fishing for praise. This is me expressing my dumbfounded gratitude at those that find me worthy of a follow. I know I’ve been writing slower this year so I hope you stick with me. I always have something dark and kinky around the corner!

Torment

A pretty little thing lay bound to the bed, chains linked across her bare body.

Her auburn hair had fallen across her furrowed brow, strands reaching down to mask her eyes.

The muscles in her neck clenched tight as her stomach reached up to meet the cool kiss of the chains around her breasts, pockets of ice biting at her nipples.

He hovered above her, a leg on each side of her, his thick and uncut cock fully hard as it frames shadows across her belly button.

His cock bobs in the air – in truth, he uses what muscles he has to hold tight. He feels the pleasure swirling from the pit of his stomach down to his shaft, reaching its own tendril to skim underneath his testicles.

Pre-come glistens the tip of his cock. He knows this, is aware of this. He uses this to his advantage, letting a strand run down his shaft and across the length of his testicles to drop across her chained stomach.

She murmurs in frustration, a strangled sound somewhere between a beg and a fierce cry. He may be aware of how Come is dripping in a sequence of dots traveling upwards to her breasts but the one thing He isn’t aware of is how badly she craves to taste him.

Her thirst is ridiculous, unquenchable. In this moment, bound and at the mercy of Him, she truly believes that if she can’t taste him, just a drop even, she will descend into madness.

In a heartbeat it terrifies her, this longing. An image comes fully formed to her, an animal writhing and growling and howling, it’s throat raw, spittle bubbling on its lips, pupils large. It’s body vibrating with desperation. Somehow she understands that she will become the animal if she doesn’t own up to her own feelings, if she cannot accept what she wants and the ferocity of how badly she wants it.

She can feel his come smack against her flesh, can lift her head just enough so that she can see his Cock bobbing in the air, a drop beading on its head, but not His face. She imagines his smile – and her thirst for him grows.

Late Night Reflection

One of the reasons why I started this blog was because I have so many dark thoughts in my mind – sexually, you understand. Sadistic thoughts, deviant thoughts. Perverted.

Sometimes that can get lonely, sometimes – well, not sometimes – for the most part, I have a thought that could consist of having a sex Slave frozen in the snow, just to see her tits harden, to challenge her perceptions psychologically, sometimes I think of brutal, feral rape.

And I think I’m insane – the only person out there that feels that way. And so starting this blog was my way of making sense of that primal unfiltered part of me, with the hopes that A) I would find I was not alone and B) I could help someone out there that’s just like me. Maybe, some way, I can help them find their voice.

It means so SO much to me when someone writes to me and expresses how they’ve been trying to find the courage to write to me to ask a question or engage in a discussion about the subject matter I wrote about. I think it take immense strength to approach someone and open up about something so personal and I’m honoured some part of me can help in some small way.

Looking back on my growth, as a human, as a man, as a lover and as a dominant – my journey through bdsm and kink has been so much more than labels and D/s and dynamics, it’s been about my journey to begin to express myself, process myself and to take the steps to accept that part of myself, to understand what I can.

Writing helps me reflect on these desires, to examine their depths – and to create, which I love doing. So, here’s to trying to write more.

August Q/A!

Hello!

It’s been a while since I have done one of these Q/A posts. I normally like to do them every month or so – for new readers or longtime readers or even lurkers – just so that there’s a space to ask some questions, be they about BDSM in general, my writing or even if you just want to understand dominance in general – but I realised I haven’t due to pesky life. Weird.

Anyway, for this month’s I’ve collected some questions that I’ve been asked and that I’d love to share with you all. If there’s something you want answered please don’t hesitate to get in contact with me at my Twitter or tumblr or even email – darkanddominant@hotmail.com

You couldn’t possibly be a bother, I truly swear.

I’ve always wondered what kind of things do dominants see in those who are submissive that marks them as that?

This is an excellent question – because a lot of the time, I feel a sense of something and I never know if that’s my own imaginative mind, a product of my anxiety disorder or what so there’s always a chance of me either embarrassing myself or being right after all.

Generally, it’s mainly a sense that I get. I can get that vibe through text, it can be in the way they express themselves, something that I feel between the lines. Sometimes I can sense a brat through jovial chat, or a primal through late night musings. More often then not I can sense it in person, through body language or eye contact. I don’t know how I sense it, but it’s there in the pit of my stomach. And it could be my mind running to places or it could be genuine, both have happened.

I remember (incoming ramble) – when I was separating from my wife and I was introduced to this chat app by a friend and through that friend I met a tight knit community that helped me heal.

They were all non-kink folk, it was a general chat, but I befriended – somehow – this lovely New Yorker amongst them and each time I was on, we talked more and more to the point where we built up a sort of friendship. And one day she mentioned she was reading 50 shades of Grey. And me, at this point, wasn’t the fully formed dominant I’d be months later, but I was on the path and through talking to her – I don’t know whether I was simply there, whether I helped or whether the universe is magical and for whatever reason we were two beings drawn to each other’s energy, but she came to more of an understanding of her interest in kink and how truly submissive she was.

There are pockets in time where I’ve had that happen, either to close friends or to the lovely people who write in to me. But yeah – sometimes it’s even a case of working through their personality with them, like maybe they really are a switch or a masochist or maybe they are feeling primal and it’s been eating at them for a while. For whatever reason, I get an inkling there.

What’s a favourite story of yours from the blog?

My favourite stories are the ones that I write and I get lost in it – the world disappears, my eyes glaze over and my hands are just writing furiously and often with a lot of spelling errors!

‘Sand’ is one favourite of mine, because it’s dark and weird and slightly grotesque – but I can taste the salt water and smell the beach. Feel the slime of the invasive creature.

Another favourite would be ‘Hera’. That one was part of a contest, where I used the winner’s concepts and then wrote them a story, which was weird and science fiction-themed and anime-inspired but – again, it was a love letter, in a way, to my own geekiness but also just some really dark twisted things that make me quite aroused.

I love ‘Valhalla’ as well because so far it’s just been this big, beautiful and sexy mess of writing. I began it when I was watching a lot of anime and reading a lot of graphic novels so the idea of a continuous story, with story arcs and ideas and such, in this setting, was fascinating. It’s still going on my mind, and I will keep going until I feel I’ve done everything I can with sex Slaves and Norse mythology.

Are there different degrees to being primal?

Outside of wanting to explore primal play as either a predator or prey, I would think some of it trickles into the lives of people, no matter the environment.

Because you’ve got to understand, being primal isn’t strictly about sexuality or being sexual, it can be about being silly or angry or sad – so long as you acknowledge those feelings and don’t bury them.

I’m no expert, I can only go off my own life denying my own urges to be primal and what it was like to suppress them and then to finally give in to that intoxicating and giddy and guilt-inducing feeling. But I feel like some, like me, are interested in feeling the more extreme sides, and everything that comes with it, the sexual, the pet play, the running naked, the feral, lovely sex.

Where as some might just want to run naked and feel the lighter sides of being primal. Maybe they are scared of what will happen to their minds, which is a real, genuine fear and is terrifying, or maybe they aren’t interested in the BDSM-play or sexual side of it. Maybe they aren’t even aware that what they are feeling and experiencing is primal. And if anyone out there is struggling with coming to terms with letting out their inner animalistic side, I am always here to talk when you are ready.

What stories, if any, are you working on now?

So right now, two stories that I’m working on are Valhalla, which consists of me laying the ground work for future stories – I’ve done a lot of research into Norse mythology and who were the major characters in those stories, as well as who were the minor characters that make up the background. It’s a lot of fun to not only form a mythology on top of mythology but also, at the same time, explore the sexual identity of these characters.

The second story I’m working on is set during the later years of the Wild West, in which a woman in a small town starts to discover she’s a dominant. That one is taking a little more time because I keep rewriting the first part – and the more I rewrite the longer and more unwieldy it becomes for me.

I mentioned it in passing, probably a few hundred articles ago, and the idea of this woman on the verge of her discovery, in a time where the Wild West was giving out to a new world, excited me. I loved the idea so much I started researching customs and small towns and politics and relationships. It was the best sort of feeling you can get as a writer, to want to create.

But I’m still tinkering at the idea. As a reader with a ferocious appetite, I see a lot of male authors write real clunky-like from the perspective as a woman, so I’m trying to write in a way that I hope is sincere and not awkward. We will see.

Are you more of a music guy or a movie guy?

Probably more of a movie guy. I like my music, I was raised in a household of music and with an itch to play a musical instrument, so I like to listen to anything from The Beatles to Chet Baker. The other night I was in a real Motley Crue / Guns N’ Roses vibe – real glam rock / seedy dive vibe.

But I do love my movies and I watch a loooooooooot of entertainment. From horror to animation, science fiction to comedy, I really like anything that challenges me, makes me laugh, thrills me, even if it’s absurd. I like my old spaghetti westerns and mafia films, and o could probably talk about film-making for hours. I’m a big geek.

Anyway, that’s me done for now. If you have a question, please do not hesitate. I know it can feel like you don’t know what to say or how to even say it but if you just write in and it feels messy, try to ignore it because I promise you I read every word and there is no judgement whatsoever from me.

A Quick Note From Me to You

Don’t do what I did and settle on something that doesn’t truly fulfil you. Don’t linger in your life out of fear, don’t wake up and try to convince yourself that everything is okay, that you are really happy in your life or relationship or marriage.

Don’t you ever do that.

Because it will kill you, slowly and surely. It will eat you from the inside as you tell yourself that this is fine, that this is life, that this is exactly the compromise that people spoke to you of. If it gets to the point where you feel, what I can only describe as a restlessness, as an emptiness – I’m not sure that that is a matter of compromise.

I sense it more often than I like – people staying out of comfort or duty or some semblance of love. And I struggle with that. It’s none of my business, I’ll say. Walk a mile in their shoes before you pass judgement – there are countless variables out there, don’t let your own failed marriage taint your perspective.

Yet if someone writes to me, and laments – I can sense it so powerfully.That restlessness. It haunted me too.

And it’s tricky you know? You get tied up in life. If your anxious, you settle for a light rhythm to keep your mind occupied. If you’re shy, you settle for staying quiet because it’s easier then putting yourself out there. If you have kids or a partner or a house, it’s easier to swallow that bitter pill to live in that pocket of comfort.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the reasons why, I lived that life. I would certainly never pass judgement on someone either, not a single soul.

I just want to tell, nay! Implore, that someone who reads this and is settling on something – anything – for whatever reason – that you don’t have to settle. That you can do that wild thing in your life – the thing that will make you happy.

I don’t blame you for hesitating. I did. I did for years. I was too scared to reboot my entire life that it took my ex wife to make the decision.

But I survived. I’m okay. I went so low that it was terrible and I felt I could never recover – but I’m okay. I made it through the tunnel.

And if I can – me, a lowly writer – surely you can too.

Let’s Discuss The Eroticism Behind Beauty and the Beast!

Originally written by French author Gabrielle-Suzanne Bardot de Villeneuve and later re-written by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont, La Belle et la Bête (Beauty and the Beast) has had countless adaptations in Theater, film and television – most notably Disney’s 1991 animated film.

It has changed a lot since it’s original version, trimming down its large cast of characters and vast collection of magical elements, but it’s the backbone of the tale remains – Belle, through a series of unfortunate events, finds herself face to face with a hideous and aggressive Beast, only to gradually find there’s more to him beneath the surface. Eventually they fall in love, the details of his curse from a petulant prince – Sometimes this prince merely rejects the advances of an evil fairy and she curses him – come to light and the spell is broken, reverting him back to his original appearance.

As far as fairy tales go, Beauty and the Beast doesn’t come laced with the macabre edge of a Brothers Grimm tale. Instead it enchants through its complexity and its intriguing and mysterious narrative that gradually reveals its twist over time.

To this day, the animated version of Beauty and the Beast is among my favourite adaptations. It is not my absolute favourite, I think that honour would go to The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but it’s somewhat a personal film for me.

It was in my teens that I realised that I could identify with the Beast – an outsider struggling with his identity, his inner turmoil. In my twenties I would see it as something primal, and link it to my own primal tendencies, but as a teen, I understood his emotional turmoil – his struggle to let go of that anger.

When I first started writing this blog, I wrote a lot of erotica based on Disney, or should I say fairy tales. Ariel became a Slave to the villainous Ursula, Anna realised she could temper Elsa’s insecurity and rage and I’m sure I wrote about the rape of a woman dressed up as a princess at a Disney park.

I write this because it was interesting to read the reactions from readers when I published these stories. Most were conflicted at the idea of twisting these stories in a dark manner, but confessed they enjoyed eroticism of such a concept. Some even wrote in personally to me to express such internal conflict, with some even going as far as to express anger.

Surprisingly, and the reason why I mention this, is because Beauty and the Beast was the most common fairy tale raised, by people who would write in, as being something so grand and erotic that they personally connected with. It wasn’t Snow White being violated by the Evil Queen, it wasn’t Sleeping Beauty being raped whilst under her spell – it was the interaction between Belle and Beast.

Even in a vanilla context, there was that meme captured from the Disney adaptation: At the moment the Beast reverts to human, a subtitle has Belle saying ‘Change Back.’

In a vanilla context, one can see why – the smooth and gentle appearance of the Beast’s true form isn’t as appealing as that rugged, domineering animalistic form. Maybe normalcy isn’t as interesting as the persona that came out through Beast’s internal struggle in his transformation.

In a BDSM and D/s context, we fall further down the rabbit hole. The Beast represents this dominant force, this aggression there that Belle has to fight back against, like pushing through ocean waves in a swim.

Belle is a prisoner to the Beast at first, a Slave to his whim. Forced to confront – head on – his relentless anger and beastly appearance.

Behind all this, I would wager that people would sense the total power exchange amongst the two. Belle, after all, has had her life traded for her own fathers – to a literal beast of a man. For all intents and purposes, her self has been stripped away no matter how hard she fights back.

So there is that underlying psychological aspect at play, but let’s dig a little deeper – what is it that toys at these concepts within the mind of a submissive. I can only guess. Is it the anger that entraps their mind in sickening sweet arousal? Is it the idea of having all right taken from them? Is it being yelled at cruelly? At the whim of animalistic desire?

There is a joke that it’s a bestiality situation – and I’ve no doubt some consider that fact arousing. You’ll find no judgement from me here. But I think with some it is the concept of this animalistic persona. This primal entity.

As a dominant, I will admit that the story brings conflicting emotions to the forefront. I am fascinated by the concept of total animalistic behaviour. Degradation and humiliation and primal anger – all of these things make my cock hard. Entice my mind.

All of these aspects in this scenario, that I can sense in the Beast, are things that make up the darker side of my brain. Things that I’m drawn to outside of looking at this fairy tale.

Kidnapping and letting go of societal norms and structures – these are all fantasies that come to mind when I read or see something like this – these are things that I’m normally interested in, but also things that I just happen to look between the lines and see for myself.

The primal aggression and possession that are aspects of me bring bouts of guilt and shame. Suddenly I’m confronting these feelings and it’s both wildly arousing and a little deflating, as if thinking and feeling so animalistic is inhuman.

The thing is, I’m not alone – whether it’s a lewd drawing or a short story ebook, the psychological component has been mulled on and explored by others – countless others – throughout the years, some probably through the Disney adaptation and some feeling guilty just like you or I out there, dear reader.

That just means it’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there with deep, dark thoughts.

Thank You For Your Company

For those of you out there that have heard my interview as part of the Darker Side Of Spice event, I just want to thank you for coming along and supporting some positivity and good will in the community.

I’m just a regular garden-variety guy working on a little BDSM blog in my own corner of the world, so opening my blog or my twitter or even tumblr and finding people visiting – most from Australia and New Zealand, Which is cool – I love the idea that there’s people so close to home out there reading – is a touching thing, especially when a lot of the time when I write, I’m always sure that this dark fantasy is going to be THE ONE that makes people re-evaluate their opinion of me.

And yet…through weird sea creatures and possessive shadow, through my strangest erotic nightmares, people are still here. Knowing that maybe my darker thoughts give solace to someone out there and makes them feel less alone is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Knowing that I can help iron out a thought in someone’s mind or relationship or personal growth – to be a part of that, is so touching in ways I can’t even begin to express.

So thank you – very, very much.

And don’t be a stranger, yeah? I’m a night owl, I’m always by a computer or a phone, scribbling down dreams and interactions and thoughts – you’re always welcome to drop by and say hello.

Oh and if there’s a topic I haven’t touched on, I am always looking to expand! Just run it by me and I’ll start thinking deeply!