Sensory Overload

All it takes is for her to duck into the lounge room where I’m resting, completely nude, in all her mesmerising glory, to grab a head band for her bath —
And my mind is transported away.
She is chained to the bedroom, completely naked, her arms and legs spread apart.

There’s a bag over her head. Something new. Me being sadistic by toying sensory deprivation. She won’t be able to see. She won’t be able to quell any concern with a kiss. How long should I leave her with the bag on? Perhaps when the air runs low, when her mind is dazed, I could bring her to the brink of her orgasm — and as my mouth rests over her cunt, my tongue teasing her clit with small licks, I can remove the bag.

And as her senses rush back to her, her body seizes with all the power of an orgasm. 
The dizziness of the air rushing back to her melds with her pleasure. Maybe it’ll catapult her senses sky high. Maybe she might be elated. Soaring high into a space that’s beyond the norm but not beyond my reach.
I could bring her back with a gentle hug, soft words – and the reminder that I am in charge of her. And all that she is. 
And then I’m back in the lounge, a grin forms across my lips. I know just what to do. 

The Mind is Always Evolving


I don’t think there will ever be a time where I’ll stop growing and evolving. Where I will reach the limit of my growth and can say ‘well, I’m definitely into all of these things and kinks, there’s nothing else’.
Though that’s sometimes frustrating, especially when someone asks ‘well, what do you identify as?’ And I have to stumble on my words to say I’m a mix of things, it’s also a thing of beauty. Because there will always be something brand new to discover. 
For example, there’s a huge part of me that identifies with the 19th century gentleman and this unspoken undercurrent of Dominance and submission. Jane Eyre, apart from being a terrific read in general, was deeply erotic for me. 
And I identify with this gentleman because a big part that I’m drawn to is regulation. Polite wording like ‘Pardon me’ instead of ‘huh?’, standing up straight – etiquette like that – it speaks to me.
And there’s so many different nuances to something like that. Chin up, beck straight, hands to the side, hands behind your back, ask for permission to go out with your girlfriends, all these different things that branch off to different concepts and regulations and ways in which the relationship can evolve or adapt.
But then aside from this strict gentleman, or the 1950’s household hybrid of that gentleman, there are the other aspects of my personality that I’ve discovered along the way, the Daddy and the Master.
The Daddy aspect has always been with me, I think, since my early twenties. And as I got older and more at ease with myself, it has been more prominent and refined. I’m sure if I co wrote a blog with my lady, she could vouch for times it comes out – say, if she’s snacking before dinner and I tell her not to, she can hear it in my voice. Or if she’s ill but staying up late. Of if I want to read to her or be by her side when she colours. 
Recently, I’ve felt a different side bubble to the surface that bears similar traits to a Master. This crosses over with the 19th century gentleman, as the concept of setting rules and regulations in a M/s environment with many different concepts also at play intrigues me. But it’s also not quite the dynamic that fits my current relationship, as my kitten and I sit somewhere between the M/s and Daddy / LG concepts. 
It’s weird to explain because the mind shifts at any given moment and borrows traits from established roles. So it’s a mix.
And as such, I think I will always be finding out new things about my mind. Maybe I’ll change. Maybe this relationship will change. The How’s and the Why’s can be pondered all night, and this thought is lengthy enough. 
Bottom line is that I’m always growing and learning and finding new ways to live and play and explore and that’s beautiful. 
How about you, stranger? Are you a mix?

Do Not Be Afraid Of Who You Are

I’ve been in the lifestyle for a number of years – 12, technically. And yet, a number of those were me wandering in the dark scared of my own desire. Fearful of who I was. 
I’m much better now, with an open dialogue between the various aspects of my personality. But I still struggle. Whenever I am about to post, I am scared initially. Scared that one day, one thought will go too far. One story will be too rough. Or weird. 
I mean, I’ve written about sea creatures and vampires and sex cults and you guys are still here. But I still worry. 

And so today, I want to talk about fear.
For some, it starts at the beginning of your journey. You have a thought so effective that it scares you because of how you perceive it – that it’s weird or demented or troubling. 
Maybe it’s not just a thought, maybe it’s a mindset. A rape fantasy. A bondage fantasy. Maybe you’re a masochist and you’re trying to understand why you like sadistic concepts. 
Running from that thought won’t work. I tried. I ended back at square one face to face with the thought. And I’d feel guilty.
The trick, I think, is to begin to rewire your outlook. Day by day, steal a moment to yourself and think about what scares you. Remind yourself you’re not alone. That it’s okay to be the way you are.
For me, it was a long and slow process. I signed up to Fetlife. I challenged myself with nude photos. I dived into the local conversation. And day by day, I’d take a moment to read about it, in books, online. 
I think because I always kept the door open to learn, that eventually it became second nature to me. I felt okay being this weird mix of Daddy / Master / Primal.
Even though that’s my story and everyone is different, I feel like the keeping the door open notion is useful. Don’t run from it, keep one foot in the door and one foot in your comfort zone until you are ready to take a wander through entirely.
What we feel, who we are, is natural. It’s what makes us beautiful. Whether you’re interested in bestiality, like an old friend of mine once was, or whether you’re laying in bed married but out of sorts with your spouse. 
The first step is admitting these thoughts are okay. Are your own. The next step is up to you. You might fall or stumble but you’re stronger then you realise. You’ll be okay.
If you need help taking that initial step, if you want to run by a desire just to hear someone else let you know it’s perfectly fine, if you are confused, whatever the reason, you’re not alone. My email – my door – is always open.
Don’t be afraid to step through. 

Pick my last 30 Days of Kink topic!

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Tomorrow marks thirty days that I have been doing the 30 days of kink challenge. Has it really been thirty days? Jeez. Well, I hope you have enjoyed living in my brain for thirty days. I know I’ve enjoyed writing them out. They’ve been neat little writing exercises and in some cases have worked to make me view things in a different light.
I may have missed day due to personal / work reasons but I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

I want to add that I hesitated doing this, on the off chance I was kidding myself and no one would join but I decided to smack that thought away in a home run and bite the bullet.

Day #30’s idea is Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.
Let’s make that Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want ME to write about.
I want whoever reads this to ask me a question or pick a topic of their choice that they want my take on.
Don’t be afraid, don’t be shy. I am open to answering mostly anything and definitely hard to offend. So try me.
I will pick the answer that intrigues me the most. Or maybe I’ll do a handful more as a surprise. Or – and there’s a very good chance this is true – on the off chance, no one has any thing they can think of, I am sure I’ll rant away. I just thought this could be fun.

Alright, I am going to go because I am a wee bit hyper now. I look forward to reading any possible responses.

Until then, behave.

30 Days of Kink – Day #27: Do your Non-Kink Activities Find Their Way Into Your Life?

Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

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I would say that writing comes into my kinky activities a lot. Writing is a passion of mine in my life and I love to write – be they stories, reviews of films and games and books or otherwise.

Sometimes, I’ll have my kitten write out her fantasies. I do this because I think it’s a wonderful mental activity. When you’re alone with your words, you’re alone with the scenario and the sensations and it can be powerful.

Other times, I’ll have her write about – with a set number of words – a specific topic in BDSM.

My fondness for Disney Animation finds its way into my kinky life, as you may have noticed from my erotica. I take a number of fantasies from my mind and act  out these twisted thoughts with my beloved.

Does dressing up my beloved count? A non-kink interest is seeing her in all her wonderful dresses. Some of which, I tell her to dress up in for me and model behind closed doors. After which I take her for myself.

30 Days of Kink – Day #26: Online BDSM play

What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

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I think it is a whole new environment there for a couple to mess around with and explore, you know? For one thing, here’s wordpress – a platform that submissive’s use as a means of chronicling their thoughts, sometimes at the request of their Dominant.

Other times, online can be a bridge for a couple that, for whatever reason, are distant from each other.

In those times, web cam can be exhilarating. Because you see, there may be a good portion that’s physical when it comes to BDSM but it’s also psychological as well. I guess even in my teens, I was fascinated with psychology because when I was away from my girlfriend, we would play together of a night when our families had long gone to bed.

Apparently I had the power to command he over the internet because she did every task that was required of her, be it turning on cam or taking pictures to say that she had followed through with the task.

Apps like Skype allow for this communication between long distance couples and in many ways, this psychology can be explored and it can be bloody fun. I just realised I typed ‘bloody’. That’s a bit of my Australian-ness coming out in me so I’ll leave that wandering thought. But yes – the internet allows for ways for a couple to keep in touch with each other and explore situations which, in some ways, add to the excitement in ways that being physically there with each other could not.

Why? Because you’re not beside each other and there’s this nervous energy and excitement about taking/receiving videos/photos and doing tasks. Personally, I enjoy setting tasks and knowing that my submissive is out and about and following my order. I like to know that even without me, my presence still hangs over her.

THAT BEING SAID, the physicality of BDSM means that as effective as online can be for the relationship, when it comes to presence and bondage and spanking and anything else that I can’t think of right now, online couldn’t really compete. I mean, obviously. Nothing feels better than striking that flesh or caressing her face rather than watching through a screen.

30 Days of Kink – Day #14: The Fantasy of BDSM / The Reality of BDSM

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from the fantasy of BDSM/kink?

Interesting question. Where does fantasy and reality collide? At what point do they meet? Where do you draw the line. Fantasies are of a fantastical nature, that’s why they are called fantasies. I couldn’t say to you all that I could get away with a lot more in the fantasy world because anything I want to do, I just do. Exhibitionism, treating my submissive a particular way during a scene. I will say that reality is not as forgiving as the fantasy world. People don’t understand BDSM and are likely to slump you in with what they deem are the ‘freaks’. This could be a fantasy within my head though. Maybe I could be wrong, maybe people are more accepting than I give them credit for.

I would say in the fantasy world, there are no limits to anything. To your imagination, to your stamina, to your submissive’s stamina. The police won’t charge you with indecency, the neighbours won’t yell abuse. The fantasy is a safe and controlled environment in which we can act out our deepest darkest desires. We can do that in reality, to an extent. We can break laws, I know I have. I know I’ve been naked outdoors, masturbated outside, in the cinema. I know my pet and I have been in a crowd and talked openly about our kinks and she’s submitted to me the way she does with those large blue eyes of hers that lets me know she understands I am in complete control. I am all for pushing limits in the real world…but there ARE limits. There are ramifications. The mind and body can only tolerate so much.