Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?
I like to incorporate it into my dominance but it’s not something like being primal, where I can’t live without that aspect.
It can be very sexy to me, in a scene and used in punishment, because I see it toying with the fantastical — you’re exploring a fantasy or if it’s a task you are doing and it flirts with exposure or some kind of humiliating task that you find sexy within the dynamic.
But it has to be something a submissive wants to explore as well. Something they find sexy or appealing, something that speaks to them as well as me.
I used to inflict it reluctantly — because I wasn’t sure or not if I had just gone into my villain arc, to use an anime reference as a joke.
But the more time I spent in the community – and indeed the more time I came to understand kink and my new friends and then my partner, who requested it – I grew comfortable with it because I could see both shades of our lives together, who we were inside and out of D/s. And that gave me peace.
Tall, Dark and Dominant 