‘Look Me In The Eyes’

He comes home to find his little pup spending her day off by curling up in their bed together — naked and losing herself to the world resting open in her free hand.

The book slumps out of her hand as she fixes those fae-like eyes to his. Under the blazing afternoon light filtering in through the blinds the green they normally are glisten like uncovered Amber.

A wicked idea comes to him.

‘Don’t stop playing on account of me. Why don’t you read aloud for me, you horny thing — I want to hear why you couldn’t wait for my permission. I want to see how you like to play with yourself.’

He stands in the doorway and watches as she turns the page and begins to play.

For herself.

For him.

A cadence forms in her adorable business-voice. He knows the one. He hears it through the walls when they work from home together in their respective offices. The cutest thing is in the tiniest details. How the rise-and-fall gives way to the push-me-pull-me rhythm of her moans.

Dialogue comes out in a breathy stammer, hanging on a syllable for dear life as her needy ass gives in to the pleasure momentarily.

He almost loses himself in the moment, watching her hands glide under the covers. His mouth waters and he has to remind his own needy ass to tell her to slow down. She cannot come yet, only edge to that delightful edge of sanity.

The flustered state she’s in is just as rewarding as anything they’ve done together. Hearing her stutter, moan through the dialogue of the book, take a break between sentences to not-so-successfully curse under her breath.

She’s unraveling before his eyes.

And he can’t help himself.

The ache in his pants is too strong.

He reaches down, dulls it with a squeeze.

It works…for the moment.

It won’t last.

He’ll need to breed her cute little ass.

It’s always fucking wonderful to see the mess he’s made of her dripping out of her beautiful pussy.

Fuck. He’s started stroking himself.

Focus.

But he can’t help it.

Watching her grind her hips up to fuck her fingers.

Seeing just how much she likes to brutalize her own nipples.

Fuck.

Her moans come quicker now.

‘Stop. Start again.’

‘What?? But come on, I just-‘

‘Nope. Take as long as you need to but stop and start again.’

Her half-lidded eyes seem to whine and beg as much as the feral, mewling noise that comes out of her.

The cutest fucking thing.

He’s got the thread and he wants to pull it till she’s gone.

The second time he tells her to stop and start again, her face turns a deep shade of red. She actually hits the bed out of pure frustration.

One might say she smacks the chuckle right out of him.

‘Can I cum? Oh please can I cum?’

‘Please hold.’

‘Fuck!’

This she spits out.

But she keeps going.

And going.

The room is a sauna.

Sweat beads along her one exposed thigh.

She kicks off the sheets and shows him exactly how soaked she is.

And how frantic she plays.

The sounds of her soaked ass just makes him want to pound her.

Everywhere.

Sympathy strikes him hard in the chest.

‘All right. You can come.’

Thank you, she stammers.

Over and over.

Words spill out like water in a bursting dam.

All of a sudden she’s a record caught in a loop.

Trying so hard to get through the sentence even as her delicious orgasm comes over her

‘…part of…p-p-paaaaaarrr…’

He watches her body spasm, watches her eyes roll, watches the book smack against her tits.

A fleeting thought comes — he hopes that hurts her. He files it away.

Closes the gap between them just as a spray shoots across the edge of the bed.

Guttural cries.

Trembling thighs.

Sun-soaked tits.

Her favourite pink toy slips from her slit and falls against her clit.

He lays down beside her.

Rests his hand over hers as she holds it still on her.

‘Look at me.’ He says softly.

She does.

Her eyes wide and eager.

Barely holding it together.

Fuck, he’s barely holding it together himself.

For now he waits.

Watches the colour of her hand gripping the sheets drain white.

Feels another spray shoot across his thighs.

Pool down around his legs.

His adorable fucking mess.

‘Midnight’

Clawing.

Clawing.

Clawing.

His fingertips scrap along her ass.

Underneath.

Needles of pain.

He’s lifting her up.

Feasting upon her.

Damn it all, she’s doing her best.

Meeting His eager mouth eagerly.

Fucking his mouth.

No.

Offering her cunt.

Folding underneath His probing tongue.

That makes her whole.

And marks her slit.

Assaults her clit.

Assaults her sense of self.

Thoughts come, feral and filthy and frantic.

The light in her was but a candle flickering in the wind. By the jagged, scattered edges of its light lay her sense of self.

Her work clothes.

Her dresses.

Her bra and panties.

Her work-phone voice.

Her society smile.

Somewhere on her naked flesh was a loose thread.

He pulled it and she unravelled.

Spilling her secrets.

Her guts.

All that she is.

On display for Him.

He snuffed out the candlelight.

Tugged her by the hair into the dark.

She is but a toy.

An offering.

A gift for his feast.

For that’s what you do, right? You offer a gift upon entering someone’s home.

Somewhere there is music.

Moody.

Warped.

Like a revelation revealing itself in a nightmare.

Scattered demon eyes in the dark.

His moan between her thighs is a buzz that tickles her lips.

Is she pleasing Him? Is she a worthy gift?

Something nips at her nipples.

Ever so gently.

Butterflies tickling, prickling her bare breasts.

No. That’s her hand.

Pinching.

Pulling.

Pinching.

Pulling.

Stretching.

Brutalising.

The breeze comes snaking down her torso, coiling in what feels like spirals. Marking her flesh, claiming her for the dark.

One time she was home for Christmas and put up in her old childhood bedroom and during the night listening to the whispering trees she pulled aside her summer-sweat-soaked shorties and furiously rubbed her clit.

Not just that. She rolled over to the dressing table, grabbed her hair pins and placed them on both nipples and continued.

She came hard on her tum, grinding, gushing onto her fingers.

Try as she might – did she really, did she really try? – she let out a single startled cry as she came. A cry that would keep her furiously blushing at the thought of being heard for the remainder of her stay.

Pull, she seethes.

At her seams.

Until she unravels in the dark.

A useless, needy bitch.

She doesn’t want to think.

She doesn’t care for the light.

She wants to chase feeling right through the forest.

Resistance comes in goosebumps sizzling down her body – past her shoulders and along her stomach to the tips of her toes.

Her mouth opens, words forming on her eager mouth — I don’t want to be a good girl, I want to be a bad thing.

I want to be a bad thing.

It’s her orgasm that lifts her hips higher, cuts the words in half in her throat.

He doesn’t stop.

God fucking dammit, He doesn’t stop his assault.

And she doesn’t recognise her whimpers.

Her stomach flips.

Her bedroom roof becomes the night sky.

Humming.

A nude woman lays before her, resting on her tum, grinding into the piles of leaves around her.

Somehow in the frenzy of her multiple orgasms, her own eyes travel over the curves of the woman’s olive ass, lit by the glow of moonlight.

Golden hair partially obscures her eyes — but not her luscious lips that lower themselves to her left breast.

But her mouth, it hovers agonizingly close to her desperate nipple.

We know what she wants. We know what she craves..

The words attempt to come.

‘P-please…’

Something searing hot and wet smacks against her cheek.

Spit.

She will not speak unless allowed.

She doesn’t nod for she’s desperate for the spit to roll down her cheek and paint her tortured nipples.

He accepts her offering of flesh, of sweets, of want and of need.

The golden woman lowered her mouth to her tortured nipple and sucked greedily, moaning around it.

You are His…you are ours. Body and soul. Repeat to me this.

‘Body a-a-nd soul.’

The golden woman giggled. Welcome sister.

Her ass clenched.

Her back seized upward.

She screamed out a guttural, unraveling wail that shot through the trees as she squirted into His mouth.

Her dumb, overstimulated self.

His.

‘A Task For The Drive Home From Work.’

Just A Quick Note: Hey-Ho. The following contains the theme of degradation and humiliation and the thrills we get with probing at our boundaries together. I know it’s not everyone’s cuppa so I thought I’d preface it as such.

I wrote this free-form. No looking back, no edits. Naked adventures with words to tap into that primal part of my brain.

The result is just one long piece like we, the reader, are eavesdropping on one side of a telephone call to a lover. I found it sexy. I hope you do too.

TD&D

——

Hey you.

I’ve missed you all day.

You’re knocking off early?

Have you left the car park yet?

Do me a favour? Take off those work pants of yours.

Yes.

Yes, you’re driving home in those lilac lacy panties that you know make me fucking, achingly hard.

They’re what?

Violet?

Don’t you be a fucking sassbrat — take off your pants. I’ll wait.

Are they off?

Good.

Because I said so.

Because I like it when you squirm — and you like it too, so stop giving me cheek and run that hand along your adorable fucking slit.

There’s a good pet.

Oh goodness. Someone sounds a little soaked and turned on. Is it the rain outside? Does pup want to get naked and dance out under it?

I tell you what. You can when you come home.

Now, you’re going to pull that delicious fabric up between your slit. Good pup.

I’m going to be vulgar because that’s the word that comes mind — coat hanger that gorgeous cunt of yours on those panties.

I can’t keep my hands off my cock.

Thinking of how I want to suck on those smooth lips of yours.

God. Do I want to devour you.

Oh please. Feel free to moan.

And get driving. Traffic might be crazy.

I’ll be here in this realm of ours, I’m not going anywhere.

Oh my hand is on my cock, don’t you worry.

I think I’ll edge till you come home and—-

—- People might be looking?

How exciting. Let’s hope there’s no big fuck off cars then hey? Keep posting for me, pet slave.

Let me tell you how it’s going to.

You’re going to glide those lovely fingers of yours under your panties and along your slit.

You’re going to play — best you can, I know safety is paramount – until you pull on our drive way.

No, they’re not home.

It’s a quiet street.

When you get home, you may put your pants on but when you get to that front door, where that pillar hides us away, you’re going to undress and walk on through.

Then and only then will you be able to come for me.

After I come over your tits myself.

Oh please. Keep whining like a needy, greedy cumslut. It only makes me want to tease you for longer.

Pout all you like, sassbrat. But tell me this?

Who owns you?

Louder.

LOUDER. Who. Owns. You?

There’s a good pup.

Rewiring My Brain To Normalise Being Naked

I know. The title sounds like the name of a track lifted from a prog metal record. But it’s a title that came to me and I thought: You know what, I don’t mind that.

This might be a bit of a ramble post so if you’ve opened this and you’ve just got in the car after work or you’re out in the midst of life, wait till you’re home – in bed, in the bath, on the couch — whatever your comfy realm is.

So a lot of my upbringing – the parenting style of my parents, how they raised me Catholic – would go on to play its role in my sexuality. Or coming to terms with said sexuality. I talked a bit about this during my 30 Days of Dominance, how my upbringing may have informed my dominant style.

One thing it did influence was how I approach nudity. Nudity felt sexual, taboo. Dangerous. I wasn’t naked for myself until I was 13. I didn’t start sleeping naked until, I wanna say, my early twenties. I’ll get back to sleeping naked in a bit. But BEING naked, just in a regular, mundane setting was unheard of. Until I got the urge out of nowhere to strip and go running through my parent’s acres of land.

Out amongst the trees, with the wind whipping my legs and a breeze teasing my cock, I felt wild. Untamed. And probably more important, not belonging to religion or strict parenting. I was so giddy I felt kinda queasy. Like I was a newborn animal drinking greedily from a spring.

In my twenties I’d find out I was primal. Which is to say, for those unfamiliar and those passing by the blog, belonging to a state of mind where I think less and feel more. I act animalistic. I let all the thoughts in the moment – love, lust, goofiness – come to me and I give it a big ol’ bear hug. I love storms and I love being out in the rain and now I’m naked a fair lot in my day.

I HAD TO REWIRE MY MIND. Because being naked felt taboo it made it feel wild. Because it felt wild it made it slightly sexy. Because it felt slightly sexy I grew to discover I enjoyed exhibitionism sometimes. The IDEA of getting caught. And because I enjoyed exhibitionism, I felt shame. Which stopped me from exploring being naked.

In my twenties I began to sleep naked. I loved it. It was peaceful, relaxing. It made me realise just how much I hated the feeling of clothes choking on me and not letting my skin breathe. It was no longer a thrill thing, it was a thing of comfort. An act to decompress after a stressful day by eschewing clothes and my societal mask to be ME.

I realised that nakedness was something that relaxed me.

So I took it outside of the bedroom.

I did mundane things around the house. I did the washing. I did my writing. I did various household things while naked. And piece by piece, it chipped away at – not only this feeling of shame residing in me, like I was a pervert – but my insecurity. I’m my own worst enemy. The way my ass looks, the shape of me. I was lanky and gross and looking like…well, bad mouthing me doesn’t serve anyone.

I still have those moments where I feel insecure. I don’t think those go away. Not always. I think you just become more of a warrior in managing them.

Being naked more has also just made more aware of my mind as well. Aware of all these little pieces that make me primal or dominant. I feel at home being naked. I feel relaxed and calm. It makes me realise just how much I grumble when I have to get dressed and play the part of me to society and friends. When, really, I’m at home best curled up somewhere naked and reading.

I have so many thoughts and can talk / write about this till the cows come home.

If you’re of a similar background to me and thinking you’d like to be naked more – try it slowly. See how you feel. At a pace that makes you comfortable. More than this, be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Let that inner nudist or primal be free in their own space. You might be like me, you might never go back to sleeping in pjs or something.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 30

Day 30 – Is your need to be Dominant being met? If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and be happy and content without being able to express your Dominance in the way that feels best to you? What makes being a Dominant special to you?

Here we are, the big 3-0. I remember turning 30. I had a break down and started piling up achievements like — WHAT HAVE I DONE?! STEPHEN SPIELBERG DIRECTED JAWS AT 27! But . . . different lives, different times to shine. Anyway. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself, I hope a scratch has been itched – if not, ask away and I shall get back to you. If you’ve been following the past month, thank you from the bottom of my dark heart for your time! If not, I’ll be sure to put them up in the future.

But for now, let’s go!

————

My needs are being met but to answer the big question here — no I don’t think I could be content without expressing my dominance in a 24/7 capacity.

What makes dominance so special? Love. Connection. Minds. Psychology. I love seeing a side of someone that is only for me – or a select few. I love earning trust and then being granted that trust to guide through the dynamic.

I love sharing a mind space with someone. To be ourselves. To revel in fantasies, dark or not-so-dark. Because it’s not just me, fulfilling my dominance, I am through that dominance helping to fulfill their submission and submissive fantasies.

And that’s a current that I need running in my relationship, for it sparks and engages my mind.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 29

Who’s a good little fuck doll?

Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation part of your Dominant expression? What is your relationship to pain and humiliation? Do you embrace it as part of your Dominance, inflict it reluctantly or have some other type of relationship with it?

I like to incorporate it into my dominance but it’s not something like being primal, where I can’t live without that aspect.

It can be very sexy to me, in a scene and used in punishment, because I see it toying with the fantastical — you’re exploring a fantasy or if it’s a task you are doing and it flirts with exposure or some kind of humiliating task that you find sexy within the dynamic.

But it has to be something a submissive wants to explore as well. Something they find sexy or appealing, something that speaks to them as well as me.

I used to inflict it reluctantly — because I wasn’t sure or not if I had just gone into my villain arc, to use an anime reference as a joke.

But the more time I spent in the community – and indeed the more time I came to understand kink and my new friends and then my partner, who requested it – I grew comfortable with it because I could see both shades of our lives together, who we were inside and out of D/s. And that gave me peace.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 28

Day 28 – Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?

There is a lot to unpack here with this one. A lot of these are pretty big questions!

Has my dominance ever failed me? Yeah, of course. Because of my anxiety / shyness. There have been times where I’ve been surprised by a submissive in jaw dropping lingerie and my ape brain just dies when she asks ‘what do you want to do with me?’

Asking that question tears open the multiverse. I see all paths and got lost in them and meanwhile I’m just staring. It’s…awkward but I’ve explained this to them either in the moment or after in a cuddle.

Have I ever been criticised or received negative feedback for my dominance? Yes and yes. Once by a random Dominant who said I wasn’t dominant at all — probably for not following his brand of dominance. Another time I was told to be more dominant by a random reader because I asked for a source for a picture I shared.

And I’ve been kinkshamed by another reader who lashed out at a fiction piece that featured degradation.

But! Beyond those opinions, I have received negative feedback from my kitten. In the beginning a mantra we had for her was just not working / satisfying. She wasn’t into it. And likewise with keeping a journal of her journey in the beginning. These were oversights for me as a young Dom.

I’d boil it down to a few things – Dom frenzy, a new relationship, just wanting to explore. And being naïve. I was young and dumb.

These were actually the things I looked back on, regretted and didn’t like. We changed them by talking about them, understanding each other more and basically dropping them because it was simply something she wasn’t into and was doing anyway, which is not what I wanted. I led wrong there.

What lesson did I learn? Slow down. Breathe. Think outside the box. Listen. Listen better. Keep on listening and asking and thinking. And communicating. We communicated through it, realised why it was awkward for now and found other exercises and tasks that felt more satisfying together.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 27

Day 27 – Do you have Dominant desires or fantasies that you have yet to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

No. If I have something I want to explore I voice them to my partner. Otherwise they’ll take up rent in the back of my brain.

Some of my fantasies used to frighten me. I felt insane because it was so far removed from what my mum taught me, what religion taught me. I was taught to be a gentleman – well, kink and BDSM have a whole different definition of what it means to be a gentleman to a submissive and it’s this definition that I realised people wanted.

I used to shy away from degradation and humiliation. I used to wonder why that drew me in. It was only when I read others experiences with it, read that there were a lot more people out there wanting it that I realised it was okay under the circumstances of a thoroughly negotiated dynamic. It’s a weird thing to realise this is what you want but this is not how you want to talk to your partner outside of it. Fantasies, eh? Like movies we sit down in the dark to participate in.

But yeah, beyond that – I still have the occasional fantasy that catches me off guard but which I still write because it turns me on. It’s almost writing that comes as a stream of consciousness because a lot of the time those pieces are dreams.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 26

Day 26 – What are the qualities that you seek in a submissive partner? Are there qualities which you consider ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’? If so, what are they and for what reasons are they ‘must haves’ or ‘must not haves’?

That I seek? Well, someone who is primal, for sure, because that’s a huge part of my identity in a non-sexual and sexual way. A good sense of humour, because that’s vital in any dynamic.

brat to keep me on my toes and spar with me, verbally or physically. I like that engagement.

They’re open to exploration and experimenting. Is a big talker, because communication is key and I like to talk a lot and communicate about desires and fantasies and things we can do or want.

But I feel like being primal is a definite must have – because it’s a big part of my life now and I’ve been in a relationship where things didn’t align and we tried to appease the other when we really just wanted to end it — and that was toxic and I don’t want to go back there. I’m happy communicating anything, even if the truth hurts.

So that is something I like to have in a dynamic and would be content exploring with another — but I mean, opposites attract and life surprises me constantly so I’m open to being taken back.

30 Days of Dominance | Day 25

Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express your Dominance? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Yes! My submissive!

No, I’m kidding. Kinda. Her brain and her body are wondrous things that bring my dominance out – the primal in me, the master me. All of it.

But then there are other things. A collar. A paddle. Her favourite toy. Sex toys in general, because I’m thinking about how I can use it and implement them into a scene.

But then, sometimes it’s also random things as well. I could be leaving for the shops and see a brick wall and think of fucking up against it and how the jagged edges would mark our bodies and feel delicious tomorrow. I’m a writer and my imagination is always active and I think that feeds the part of my brain that craves dominance.

All of these have significance because they get my mind thinking. Sometimes I like my mind – I’m thinking up writing, scenarios, ideas, tasks, dreaming of someone in those scenarios – and all the while I’m drafting this image and getting ready to paint it.