November AMA!

I’ve had a lot of questions come my way of late so I figured I’d post some of them here!

As always, if you have any questions, you are more than welcome to get in touch!

On Writing

Do you write in one go or over the course of a long period of time, returning to it?

Sometimes I’ll write in one go. I’ve written stories for the blog like that. They’ll come to me out of nowhere and I’ll write them in one sitting – but if they’re bigger, I’ll break it off in chunks and spread them out over the week. Sometimes even longer.

I usually aim for 2,000 words a day. I’ll write more if I get lost in the story but I aim for 2k, knowing that I can stop there if I’m feeling drained and I can still feel like I have accomplished something in the day.

Do you take notes first or make a structure or do you just sit down to write and see what happens?

I take a tonne of notes – things that never even make the final story. It’s weird because I’ll plan out the setting like I’m building a house. So – say I have a scene with two characters living in an apartment, right? I’ll design the floor plan of the house – in my head, not in actuality – so I have a mental guide I can flesh out and narrate.

I also sketch out profiles on characters – their flaws, backstories, tastes, favourite novels. Even if it doesn’t get in there, it helps me build a character as I write the story.

I usually plan out a draft structure for chapters – but only the basic bullet points for what I want to hit. I like to freeform write so I leave s little room for spontaneous writing where voices and ideas come to me that I never planned for but let them breathe anyway.

Do you edit lots?

I try to. It’s a sin that I don’t do it enough. There is so much I read to proofread on the blog but there’s so also so much that escapes my busy eye so easily! It’s crazy.

So I apologise if I piss off some of you.

How much of what you write sees the light of day?

Hmmmm. More then 50%, I know that much.

There’s a lot that I put onto the blog, that are my genuine, raw fantasies unprocessed – but then some get drafted on my phone that I feel are too weird or too dark or even too personal.

I sometimes get worried I’ll go too far or I’ll sound too weird or mopey and I just leave it to sit on my phone. Case in point – the story about a teenage girl walking home from a party and being sexually assaulted by a possessed tree.

But I’ve also written this really vulnerable thing during an anxiety attack that I never posted because there’s always a fear of rejection I guess.

How do you write in terms of surroundings? music? place? time of day? do you write alone?

I have to write alone. In complete silence. I need to be able to transport my mind to the scene so I can see and hear and taste and all of those other weird writer things. Generally, though, I write for the blog during the night or curled up in bed naked.

Writing naked is therapeutic in a way and makes me feel comfortable and liberated enough to write freely. If that makes sense.

Sometimes I’ll write curled up in bed, if it’s a rainy day and the rain is pelting down on the window. It really sets the mood and charges me.

What is your most common source of inspiration? books, movies, music, daily life, dreams? people watching at the supermarket?

I would say my most common source is my dreams, followed my daily life. I have a lot of weird sexual dreams where I can feel every minute detail so intensely. Like, I can feel how hard I am, how wet this made up woman (or my kitten) is , I can sense my orgasm. Sometimes I even come – the point is, it’s very vivid and detailed. And weird.

But it’s not just dreaming, I gather inspiration from everywhere – the way my kitten has this foxy, babydoll look in her eye, a scene in a horror where a woman is skinny dipping. Hell, I remember writing about a submissive Japanese woman who fought back against conventions to be a samurai. I had her whole backstory fleshed out, did my research a bit, before I felt I couldn’t do it. But that just came from my interest in ancient Japanese history. And samurai cinema, of course. Ahem.

On Dominance

If you could only element of the lifestyle, what would you choose? The sexual or the non sexual?

It would definitely be the non-sexual because I find those tiny details endlessly fascinating. When I think about what I enjoy as a dominant and what calls to me, it’s the little soulful interactions like setting creative tasks or deep, meaningful conversation that fulfil me.

Come to think of it, the non-sexual parts were what largely interested in me the more I read up on BDSM and D/s. I was always curious about the sexual parts but what drew me in was the aspects that make up the dynamic in a non sexual way.

What are your favourite non sexual parts of the dynamic?

Being soulful with one another, you know? The little moments like that. Organising structure and protocol and setting tasks like kneeling before bed and asking the dominant if they can share the bed – or picking out outfits she’ll wear together. Little psychological interactions like that.

Are you able to differentiate between sexual and non-sexual or do they bleed together sometimes?

Oh they definitely have the chance to bleed together, depending on context. But yeah, a big part of what I ‘chased’ when I was learning to be dominant was the non-sexual side of the dynamic. To me, that’s what I was feeling in the pit of my stomach – the call for control of that structure and mind of another. That’s what stood out. So I learnt backwards, I guess? Or rather just learnt of the non sexual interactions first because I was intrigued by the psychology behind it.

Does it bother you to admit weakness?

Sometimes! If I’m particularly anxious, I will ruminate on what I think are my weaknesses, like weird social personality or my inability to properly express myself or just how absent minded I can be.

I’m getting better at slowly accepting that this is who I am, but some days it’ll hit me harder than others.

What Is A BDSM Mentor?

I’ve spoken about acting as a mentor to people in the past but I don’t believe I touched on just what exactly is a Mentor in the context of the BDSM lifestyle.

As I’ve been doing some reflecting lately on it, I thought I’d go into detail about the role.

A BDSM Mentor is someone that has been in the lifestyle long enough themselves that they have experience and a good understanding of the differing aspects of the lifestyle, enough so that they can act as support and guidance needed to newcomers to BDSM and a D/s lifestyle.

There needs to be a solid foundation for a mentor and the newcomer’s interactions though. Forging trust between one another is paramount, as is genuine friendship. You’ll be working together and, depending on the individual, maybe even on sensitive, intimate aspects. So establishing a mutual level of trust and bond is absolutely necessary.

For example, I’ve always said to anyone, that writes in to me intrigued about a mentoring, whether by me or otherwise, to take the time and think about it. Take the time to get to know the mentor and see if they are best person for the job.

A BDSM Mentor should be in a strictly non-sexual role with the person being mentored. If it goes beyond that, either you or your mentor are looking for entirely different things and should either reflect together or apart.

I’m sure there are people who evolve from a Mentor / Mentored to genuine play – and maybe that’s what they want and that’s fine – but for the most part, a BDSM Mentor should be in that strictly non-sexual role.

They don’t own the Mentored, they can’t set protocols or rules or structures or punishments. They shouldn’t be teaching how to be like them specifically but more helping the individual be who they want to be.

Okay, but what does a BDSM Mentor actually do?

In my experience, being a mentor to a newcomer has involved listening to their needs and wants and guiding them accordingly.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of having that line of communication open, sometimes it’s listening about their relationship or their thoughts and helping them make sense of it, sometimes it’s just answering any questions they have about the lifestyle.

Me, personally, I like establishing a level of trust and comfort so that when or if they feel like asking me anything, they can stop in the middle of their day – to ask or vent or simply just talk out their feelings.

Some people need support and structure in their lives – I helped someone I Mentored get to the gym more, while I helped another organise their day in a way that she always wanted to but struggled to.

Setting tasks for the individual to reflect upon, offering resources like non-fiction books and just giving your time and patience – that’s what a mentor does.

Is a mentor needed for a successful D/s or BDSM relationship?

Absolutely not. I never had one. Granted, I took the road less traveled and it took longer to get there, but I’d like to think of my own D/s relationship as successful.

Whether you want a mentor there to assist you, for as ever long as you want, is entirely up to your preference. Some prefer the community in whole, some thrive on a one-to-one basis. It really depends on your personal views.

Should a submissive find a submissive mentor and a dominant find a dominant mentor? Or can they cross?

It depends on personal preference. Though I’m sure a submissive mentor could impart knowledge that I couldn’t fathom, I think learning from both sides of the dynamic could be a fascinating and enlightening experience.

Some people prefer to work with someone of the same dynamic while others like to work with the opposite to gain some insight into the mind. I’m sure personal preference also plays a part.

In my experience as a mentor, I’ve mentored both dominant and submissive people and have enjoyed answering questions to both sides of the dynamic.

Do you still mentor?

I do! The door is always open for people of any background or nationality, if you think I’m the right person to help you. If so, I’m happy to chat with you for as long you want so you can feel comfortable with me and make sure you still want that line of dialogue to be open.

Take your time deciding what’s best for you. You have all the time in the world to learn or to build a friendship and trust with the person that you want to be mentored by. Follow your heart and soul and you’ll be perfectly fine.

In Which I’m Asked If I Have A Preference On Who I Discuss BDSM With

Today I was asked, by a newcomer to the world of BDSM, if I mainly liked to focus on people who wanted to be dominant or if I happily spoke to those interested in submission as well.

It’s such a good and important question that I wanted to share it here for anyone who was new but couldn’t find their voice to reach out on any of the communities.

Back in 2017 when I first thought I was educated enough in the lifestyle to actively mentor, I found a post out there in the internet which stated those who felt their dominance should speak to a dominant and those who felt their submission should speak to a submissive for their respective training.

And I agree to a certain extent. I simply cannot help when it comes to any deeper yearnings that a submissive may have because I don’t have those natural or developed instincts. I can relate through my own yearnings and I can identify – I can even help teach someone what I learned in a purely objective manner – but I don’t have that perspective of feeling and being submissive.

Beyond that, I think that it is useful to talk to both personalities – and different people – to see how different people think and approach the same concepts of Kink and BDSM. It’s endlessly fascinating.

I personally don’t have a preference when it comes to who I talk to or help out. Whether it’s a man or a woman I do not mind, nor am I put off by nationality or background and interests. My view is that I am happy to answer any questions. Some people want to ask me about my background, some people want to ask about my anxiety, some people just have questions about the lifestyle.

I look at it like this – I may not have all the answers and I may not be in tune with your personal preferences but I’ll help as much as I possibly can and I’d be happy to talk through your thoughts and feelings, as much as you are comfortable with. For some people, hell, for most, it’s not easy coming forward and talking openly. I understand that all too well and try to be there as much as I can until they feel a little more comfortable and can ask their questions.

I genuinely love helping or talking with both sides – though I do hear more from people who identify as submissive, I’m always down to talk to a person who wants to discuss how to be dominant in the bedroom or other such concepts of dominance as well – anything that lil’ ol’ me can help with.

50 MORE Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Me

When I did a ‘50 things you might not know about me’ people seemed to respond to it really well. Sometimes I even get questions in my email about who I am outside of Kink. Hopefully these help shed some light on that for any of you!

1. I’m currently naked right now.

2. Tall, Dark and Dominant isn’t just a tongue-in-cheek name for a blog, it’s also a vague description of my physical appearance and self.

3. The sub-heading ‘Inside the mind of a dominant male’ was the suggestion from a reader when I first began the blog. I liked it enough it’s been there ever since.

4. In my ‘50 things…’ post, I mentioned being an avid film buff and reader, but what do I enjoy watching and reading? I will read anything you recommend my way to give it a chance but my favourite genres are horror, epic fantasy and gothic fiction. The same could be translated into my film tastes!

5. I’m introverted. I live a quiet life working from home with my animal friends. To add to this, my lady is extroverted so that makes for challenging – but worthwhile – functions with friends and extended family.

6. I find certain atmospheres stimulate my brain and either make me incredibly hyper OR incredibly horny. So – a jazz bar in New Orleans, a small town carnival, late night shopping. Maybe I’m just a creature of the night. Huh.

7. Sometimes being primal can feel lonely, or maybe that’s a by-product of my depression. It’s a strange feeling that comes and go like the flows of life. It’s a strange thing.

8. Around 2017-2018, I spoke a lot about a desire to mentor and even offered that to anyone, explaining that it’s more of a lifeline to touch base and talk things over that they may not feel like they can to people around them.

9. The best thing about mentoring for me was that I could – for whatever reason – put the feelings of others into structure that made sense. I keep in touch with the people I’ve helped and am happy to hear from them about how they are finding things, while also answering anything they have to ask.

10. The worst thing about mentoring was my sense of persecution complex / imposter syndrome. Or that I was interfering with lives in a way I shouldn’t. It’s why I stopped for the longest while.

11. My favourite colours change on my mood. I like a deep red and a deep blue but I also tend to feed off of purple and emerald. Not to mention the shade of black.

12. I almost drowned at two seperate times in my life.

13. Speaking of 13, I’m superstitious with a lot of things. I make sure I’m in bed before 3am, the witching hour. I try not to walk under ladders.

14. I challenge my sense of low self-esteem by taking nudes. That’s actually how I became comfortable with being on Fetlife – by putting myself out there and embracing the more wild side of myself.

15. I’m still a little shy at moaning, until I get carried away and my primal self comes out.

16. If you were to open my Spotify right now, you’d find a mix of heavy metal, jazz, ambient jams and 80s glam rock.

17. Inspiration strikes me in the strangest moments – through a sexy nightmare, through watching movie of a woman skinny dipping.

18. I like to write erotica that’s explicit in its vulgarity and confronting – to me, anyway – in how it explores the mind of its characters. My main hope is, if it isn’t at least engaging and thoughtful, it will be sexy still in some way.

19. Speaking of 80s glam rock, I once did a strip tease to a Guns N’ Roses song.

20. I’ve spent literal years challenging myself to be outspoken and not painfully shy to the point that some misconstrue me as cocky or overly boisterous.

21. I come from a musical family. Originally I wanted to play the saxophone but I went into piano because I wanted to learn Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. How I discovered that piece, no idea. I WANT to say an old universal horror movie but I can’t say. Anyway, I got as far as learning the entirety of Toccata and the first few minutes of Fugue before I got distracted by highschool. I still remember the part of the piece I learnt but have yet to get around to learning the entire 8ish minutes.

22. But yes I listen to classical music. Bach, Beethoven and Mozart are my favourites. I love the expression of mood and how grandiose they made music feel.

23. Moonlight Sonata, Requiem and Clair De Lune are up there among my favorite pieces. They probably will give you an idea about my tastes and moods too.

24. I support the Chicago Bears in the NFL.

25. If I could have any super power, it’d be really hard to resist the idea of flying but I think I’d go invisible. And be a terrible voyeur.

26. I love licorice Icecream. No one has yet to agree with me on that one. Huh.

27. I really love helping people. I hate the idea of anyone feeling alone and frightened and like they’re the only one who feels the way they do and, as crazy as it sounds, I would talk to that person as long as they need to. I still have to tell some who approach me personally to please don’t apologise for asking a question. I understand that feeling all too well.

28. I applied to university for the one course each year for three years before they let me in. Four years later I graduated from that university.

29. While thinking of something for 29, I got sidetracked by the idea of a submissive tied to a table while a sybian relentlessly assaulted their pussy.

30. I always enjoy meeting new people who I come across through my blog.

31. Though I ALWAYS fear I will just keep talking and piss them off.

32. My favorite pair of underwear for myself is a vintage-styled Mickey Mouse artwork piece.

33. BDSM can calm my soul at times.

34. I am still a painfully shy Dominant. I love to cum on my lady’s tits but I’ll wrestle with some self-loathing on my not-so-great days.

35.One of my favorite animals is an anteater.

36. I dream intensely, in many colors and genres – Sex dreams are visceral and breath-taking, nightmares wake me up yelling at things and weird dreams inspire my writings.

37. I’m teaching myself Spanish, slowly but surely. I converse in a clunky manner but early days.

38. I love Mexican culture – the food, the sights, the music and I’m partial to the men and women from there. I’m secretly hoping to meet a Mexican reader one day and yes, I realize that sounds weird.

39. I go through different phases where I really want to learn about something – American politics, The Peloponnesian War, Henry James’ entire bibliography, small town football in America, the mind of someone in the BDSM lifestyle – let alone the mind of someone at all.

40. I still haven’t gone to any munch or kink function where I live, partly because anxiety, partly because there’s a weird aspect I sense of myself where I’m private and shy and socially awkward but also just more of a quiet loner.

41. I live in suburbia, which sometimes makes the primal in me very frustrated. I often want to strip down naked and go for heart-pounding runs but I can’t.

42. My spirit animal is either a bear or a sloth. My lady says Bear because I scratch myself against sharp corners of the house, roam cupboards for food and generally like to nap.

43. I really need to get better at exercising.

44. You’ll never bother me if you ever want to write in to me – to shoot the shit, to ask a question, whatever the case may be. For some, even me, It’s hard to get to a place where you’re comfortable expressing to a stranger, but the offer is always there for anyone. I promise and beseech you if it ever gets tough.

45. The show I’m currently watching on Netflix is The Dark Crystal / The Good Place / Riverdale.

46. I like to bite certain people.

47. When I was eight, my teacher complained that I wasn’t paying attention in class because I was too busy writing stories. And here I am.

48. To this day, I am in complete shock at my life. I don’t understand how I won over a beautiful lady, let alone a submissive lady in sync with my mind, I don’t understand how you readers really enjoy my work, I’m still in shock people write in from time to time for whatever reason. I feel like my life has been the biggest fluke – but…I’ll never stop giving my thanks and doing my part back to the universe.

49. I used to get up at the crack of dawn as a small kid to watch my favourite animated movies.

50. I kinda wish I was more talented with a camera so I could collaborate with minds to take some beautiful erotic / bdsm photos. The conservative catholic in me feels really guilty about that at times but I keep thinking how beautiful would it be to work creatively with someone else’s mind on a concept that could be vintage or fantastical or epic or romantic. But then I realise that’s a dream for an alternate reality me.

An Open Letter To Kinky Teens

Hey there. I hope you’re having a lovely day.

The first thing that I want to say is that, if you’ve found my blog through whatever means, I hope that there has been a piece I have written that has made you see that you aren’t alone in what you are feeling.

That, I feel, is the most important thing I can say or write to you right now — that what you are feeling can feel like a vortex of insanity but that doesn’t mean you are insane and that doesn’t mean what you’re feeling is wrong or disgusting or outrageous, no matter if you’ve had a parent tell you, or an ex tell you – some people are scared by it, some don’t understand it. And in turn that scares them. Don’t let their conceived reality become yours.

You have it in you to be strong and you certainly have it in you to overcome any barriers, to learn and to organise your thoughts in a way that will make you less anxious. You need a platform to organise them, to talk of them. But you are certainly up to the challenges of such a task! And I promise you, the more you practice a challenge, the easier it becomes in time. I wish I knew that growing up.

I was 12 when I started exploring kink – running through forests naked, indulging in things I’d later know where primal. I was 16 when I started exploring degradation and humiliation, not knowing degradation and humiliation were terms for what I found arousing. I only know these now because I did some digging and soul searching in my twenties – and that’s another thing you have on your side – time! Time to research, to assess, to know that being submissive is more than taking orders, it’s about your inner power and inner worry, just as being dominant is more then control, it is about knowing when to lead and when to be led, as well as harnessing both yourself and your partner in a safe environment.

Please be safe. The internet can be a wonderful place where people are so welcoming but it can also be a place for predators, faceless figures looking to take advantage of your naivety when it comes to BDSM and D/s.

I wish I had websites to recommend or teen-friendly sites for BDSM and kink, I don’t. I learned the long, hard way – typing things into google, finding non-fiction books like SM101 by Jay Wiseman from Goodreads. The little things like that that helped me. But I also did stupid stuff, like finding kink communities on the Whisper app and openly talking about my problems. Don’t do something like that – don’t open yourself to that kind of hurt. I know I’m being the hypocritical adult here, that’s a lot of adults for you – we make mistakes and don’t want that for someone else but — just be careful. Don’t rush into anything with anyone, talk if you must and learn but be mindful of your self and your worth and the power you have in your sexual identity.

Because let me tell you, you’re normal and you’re lovely and there’s not a thing wrong with you. I remember feeling like that, and you know what? I remember learning that I wasn’t alone in the world, that people were just like me out there.

Take your time. You’ll be fine.

I will never turn anyone away that wants to talk, regardless of age. My email is always open.

August Q/A!

Hello!

It’s been a while since I have done one of these Q/A posts. I normally like to do them every month or so – for new readers or longtime readers or even lurkers – just so that there’s a space to ask some questions, be they about BDSM in general, my writing or even if you just want to understand dominance in general – but I realised I haven’t due to pesky life. Weird.

Anyway, for this month’s I’ve collected some questions that I’ve been asked and that I’d love to share with you all. If there’s something you want answered please don’t hesitate to get in contact with me at my Twitter or tumblr or even email – darkanddominant@hotmail.com

You couldn’t possibly be a bother, I truly swear.

I’ve always wondered what kind of things do dominants see in those who are submissive that marks them as that?

This is an excellent question – because a lot of the time, I feel a sense of something and I never know if that’s my own imaginative mind, a product of my anxiety disorder or what so there’s always a chance of me either embarrassing myself or being right after all.

Generally, it’s mainly a sense that I get. I can get that vibe through text, it can be in the way they express themselves, something that I feel between the lines. Sometimes I can sense a brat through jovial chat, or a primal through late night musings. More often then not I can sense it in person, through body language or eye contact. I don’t know how I sense it, but it’s there in the pit of my stomach. And it could be my mind running to places or it could be genuine, both have happened.

I remember (incoming ramble) – when I was separating from my wife and I was introduced to this chat app by a friend and through that friend I met a tight knit community that helped me heal.

They were all non-kink folk, it was a general chat, but I befriended – somehow – this lovely New Yorker amongst them and each time I was on, we talked more and more to the point where we built up a sort of friendship. And one day she mentioned she was reading 50 shades of Grey. And me, at this point, wasn’t the fully formed dominant I’d be months later, but I was on the path and through talking to her – I don’t know whether I was simply there, whether I helped or whether the universe is magical and for whatever reason we were two beings drawn to each other’s energy, but she came to more of an understanding of her interest in kink and how truly submissive she was.

There are pockets in time where I’ve had that happen, either to close friends or to the lovely people who write in to me. But yeah – sometimes it’s even a case of working through their personality with them, like maybe they really are a switch or a masochist or maybe they are feeling primal and it’s been eating at them for a while. For whatever reason, I get an inkling there.

What’s a favourite story of yours from the blog?

My favourite stories are the ones that I write and I get lost in it – the world disappears, my eyes glaze over and my hands are just writing furiously and often with a lot of spelling errors!

‘Sand’ is one favourite of mine, because it’s dark and weird and slightly grotesque – but I can taste the salt water and smell the beach. Feel the slime of the invasive creature.

Another favourite would be ‘Hera’. That one was part of a contest, where I used the winner’s concepts and then wrote them a story, which was weird and science fiction-themed and anime-inspired but – again, it was a love letter, in a way, to my own geekiness but also just some really dark twisted things that make me quite aroused.

I love ‘Valhalla’ as well because so far it’s just been this big, beautiful and sexy mess of writing. I began it when I was watching a lot of anime and reading a lot of graphic novels so the idea of a continuous story, with story arcs and ideas and such, in this setting, was fascinating. It’s still going on my mind, and I will keep going until I feel I’ve done everything I can with sex Slaves and Norse mythology.

Are there different degrees to being primal?

Outside of wanting to explore primal play as either a predator or prey, I would think some of it trickles into the lives of people, no matter the environment.

Because you’ve got to understand, being primal isn’t strictly about sexuality or being sexual, it can be about being silly or angry or sad – so long as you acknowledge those feelings and don’t bury them.

I’m no expert, I can only go off my own life denying my own urges to be primal and what it was like to suppress them and then to finally give in to that intoxicating and giddy and guilt-inducing feeling. But I feel like some, like me, are interested in feeling the more extreme sides, and everything that comes with it, the sexual, the pet play, the running naked, the feral, lovely sex.

Where as some might just want to run naked and feel the lighter sides of being primal. Maybe they are scared of what will happen to their minds, which is a real, genuine fear and is terrifying, or maybe they aren’t interested in the BDSM-play or sexual side of it. Maybe they aren’t even aware that what they are feeling and experiencing is primal. And if anyone out there is struggling with coming to terms with letting out their inner animalistic side, I am always here to talk when you are ready.

What stories, if any, are you working on now?

So right now, two stories that I’m working on are Valhalla, which consists of me laying the ground work for future stories – I’ve done a lot of research into Norse mythology and who were the major characters in those stories, as well as who were the minor characters that make up the background. It’s a lot of fun to not only form a mythology on top of mythology but also, at the same time, explore the sexual identity of these characters.

The second story I’m working on is set during the later years of the Wild West, in which a woman in a small town starts to discover she’s a dominant. That one is taking a little more time because I keep rewriting the first part – and the more I rewrite the longer and more unwieldy it becomes for me.

I mentioned it in passing, probably a few hundred articles ago, and the idea of this woman on the verge of her discovery, in a time where the Wild West was giving out to a new world, excited me. I loved the idea so much I started researching customs and small towns and politics and relationships. It was the best sort of feeling you can get as a writer, to want to create.

But I’m still tinkering at the idea. As a reader with a ferocious appetite, I see a lot of male authors write real clunky-like from the perspective as a woman, so I’m trying to write in a way that I hope is sincere and not awkward. We will see.

Are you more of a music guy or a movie guy?

Probably more of a movie guy. I like my music, I was raised in a household of music and with an itch to play a musical instrument, so I like to listen to anything from The Beatles to Chet Baker. The other night I was in a real Motley Crue / Guns N’ Roses vibe – real glam rock / seedy dive vibe.

But I do love my movies and I watch a loooooooooot of entertainment. From horror to animation, science fiction to comedy, I really like anything that challenges me, makes me laugh, thrills me, even if it’s absurd. I like my old spaghetti westerns and mafia films, and o could probably talk about film-making for hours. I’m a big geek.

Anyway, that’s me done for now. If you have a question, please do not hesitate. I know it can feel like you don’t know what to say or how to even say it but if you just write in and it feels messy, try to ignore it because I promise you I read every word and there is no judgement whatsoever from me.

Thank You For Your Company

For those of you out there that have heard my interview as part of the Darker Side Of Spice event, I just want to thank you for coming along and supporting some positivity and good will in the community.

I’m just a regular garden-variety guy working on a little BDSM blog in my own corner of the world, so opening my blog or my twitter or even tumblr and finding people visiting – most from Australia and New Zealand, Which is cool – I love the idea that there’s people so close to home out there reading – is a touching thing, especially when a lot of the time when I write, I’m always sure that this dark fantasy is going to be THE ONE that makes people re-evaluate their opinion of me.

And yet…through weird sea creatures and possessive shadow, through my strangest erotic nightmares, people are still here. Knowing that maybe my darker thoughts give solace to someone out there and makes them feel less alone is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Knowing that I can help iron out a thought in someone’s mind or relationship or personal growth – to be a part of that, is so touching in ways I can’t even begin to express.

So thank you – very, very much.

And don’t be a stranger, yeah? I’m a night owl, I’m always by a computer or a phone, scribbling down dreams and interactions and thoughts – you’re always welcome to drop by and say hello.

Oh and if there’s a topic I haven’t touched on, I am always looking to expand! Just run it by me and I’ll start thinking deeply!