50 MORE Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Me

When I did a ‘50 things you might not know about me’ people seemed to respond to it really well. Sometimes I even get questions in my email about who I am outside of Kink. Hopefully these help shed some light on that for any of you!

1. I’m currently naked right now.

2. Tall, Dark and Dominant isn’t just a tongue-in-cheek name for a blog, it’s also a vague description of my physical appearance and self.

3. The sub-heading ‘Inside the mind of a dominant male’ was the suggestion from a reader when I first began the blog. I liked it enough it’s been there ever since.

4. In my ‘50 things…’ post, I mentioned being an avid film buff and reader, but what do I enjoy watching and reading? I will read anything you recommend my way to give it a chance but my favourite genres are horror, epic fantasy and gothic fiction. The same could be translated into my film tastes!

5. I’m introverted. I live a quiet life working from home with my animal friends. To add to this, my lady is extroverted so that makes for challenging – but worthwhile – functions with friends and extended family.

6. I find certain atmospheres stimulate my brain and either make me incredibly hyper OR incredibly horny. So – a jazz bar in New Orleans, a small town carnival, late night shopping. Maybe I’m just a creature of the night. Huh.

7. Sometimes being primal can feel lonely, or maybe that’s a by-product of my depression. It’s a strange feeling that comes and go like the flows of life. It’s a strange thing.

8. Around 2017-2018, I spoke a lot about a desire to mentor and even offered that to anyone, explaining that it’s more of a lifeline to touch base and talk things over that they may not feel like they can to people around them.

9. The best thing about mentoring for me was that I could – for whatever reason – put the feelings of others into structure that made sense. I keep in touch with the people I’ve helped and am happy to hear from them about how they are finding things, while also answering anything they have to ask.

10. The worst thing about mentoring was my sense of persecution complex / imposter syndrome. Or that I was interfering with lives in a way I shouldn’t. It’s why I stopped for the longest while.

11. My favourite colours change on my mood. I like a deep red and a deep blue but I also tend to feed off of purple and emerald. Not to mention the shade of black.

12. I almost drowned at two seperate times in my life.

13. Speaking of 13, I’m superstitious with a lot of things. I make sure I’m in bed before 3am, the witching hour. I try not to walk under ladders.

14. I challenge my sense of low self-esteem by taking nudes. That’s actually how I became comfortable with being on Fetlife – by putting myself out there and embracing the more wild side of myself.

15. I’m still a little shy at moaning, until I get carried away and my primal self comes out.

16. If you were to open my Spotify right now, you’d find a mix of heavy metal, jazz, ambient jams and 80s glam rock.

17. Inspiration strikes me in the strangest moments – through a sexy nightmare, through watching movie of a woman skinny dipping.

18. I like to write erotica that’s explicit in its vulgarity and confronting – to me, anyway – in how it explores the mind of its characters. My main hope is, if it isn’t at least engaging and thoughtful, it will be sexy still in some way.

19. Speaking of 80s glam rock, I once did a strip tease to a Guns N’ Roses song.

20. I’ve spent literal years challenging myself to be outspoken and not painfully shy to the point that some misconstrue me as cocky or overly boisterous.

21. I come from a musical family. Originally I wanted to play the saxophone but I went into piano because I wanted to learn Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. How I discovered that piece, no idea. I WANT to say an old universal horror movie but I can’t say. Anyway, I got as far as learning the entirety of Toccata and the first few minutes of Fugue before I got distracted by highschool. I still remember the part of the piece I learnt but have yet to get around to learning the entire 8ish minutes.

22. But yes I listen to classical music. Bach, Beethoven and Mozart are my favourites. I love the expression of mood and how grandiose they made music feel.

23. Moonlight Sonata, Requiem and Clair De Lune are up there among my favorite pieces. They probably will give you an idea about my tastes and moods too.

24. I support the Chicago Bears in the NFL.

25. If I could have any super power, it’d be really hard to resist the idea of flying but I think I’d go invisible. And be a terrible voyeur.

26. I love licorice Icecream. No one has yet to agree with me on that one. Huh.

27. I really love helping people. I hate the idea of anyone feeling alone and frightened and like they’re the only one who feels the way they do and, as crazy as it sounds, I would talk to that person as long as they need to. I still have to tell some who approach me personally to please don’t apologise for asking a question. I understand that feeling all too well.

28. I applied to university for the one course each year for three years before they let me in. Four years later I graduated from that university.

29. While thinking of something for 29, I got sidetracked by the idea of a submissive tied to a table while a sybian relentlessly assaulted their pussy.

30. I always enjoy meeting new people who I come across through my blog.

31. Though I ALWAYS fear I will just keep talking and piss them off.

32. My favorite pair of underwear for myself is a vintage-styled Mickey Mouse artwork piece.

33. BDSM can calm my soul at times.

34. I am still a painfully shy Dominant. I love to cum on my lady’s tits but I’ll wrestle with some self-loathing on my not-so-great days.

35.One of my favorite animals is an anteater.

36. I dream intensely, in many colors and genres – Sex dreams are visceral and breath-taking, nightmares wake me up yelling at things and weird dreams inspire my writings.

37. I’m teaching myself Spanish, slowly but surely. I converse in a clunky manner but early days.

38. I love Mexican culture – the food, the sights, the music and I’m partial to the men and women from there. I’m secretly hoping to meet a Mexican reader one day and yes, I realize that sounds weird.

39. I go through different phases where I really want to learn about something – American politics, The Peloponnesian War, Henry James’ entire bibliography, small town football in America, the mind of someone in the BDSM lifestyle – let alone the mind of someone at all.

40. I still haven’t gone to any munch or kink function where I live, partly because anxiety, partly because there’s a weird aspect I sense of myself where I’m private and shy and socially awkward but also just more of a quiet loner.

41. I live in suburbia, which sometimes makes the primal in me very frustrated. I often want to strip down naked and go for heart-pounding runs but I can’t.

42. My spirit animal is either a bear or a sloth. My lady says Bear because I scratch myself against sharp corners of the house, roam cupboards for food and generally like to nap.

43. I really need to get better at exercising.

44. You’ll never bother me if you ever want to write in to me – to shoot the shit, to ask a question, whatever the case may be. For some, even me, It’s hard to get to a place where you’re comfortable expressing to a stranger, but the offer is always there for anyone. I promise and beseech you if it ever gets tough.

45. The show I’m currently watching on Netflix is The Dark Crystal / The Good Place / Riverdale.

46. I like to bite certain people.

47. When I was eight, my teacher complained that I wasn’t paying attention in class because I was too busy writing stories. And here I am.

48. To this day, I am in complete shock at my life. I don’t understand how I won over a beautiful lady, let alone a submissive lady in sync with my mind, I don’t understand how you readers really enjoy my work, I’m still in shock people write in from time to time for whatever reason. I feel like my life has been the biggest fluke – but…I’ll never stop giving my thanks and doing my part back to the universe.

49. I used to get up at the crack of dawn as a small kid to watch my favourite animated movies.

50. I kinda wish I was more talented with a camera so I could collaborate with minds to take some beautiful erotic / bdsm photos. The conservative catholic in me feels really guilty about that at times but I keep thinking how beautiful would it be to work creatively with someone else’s mind on a concept that could be vintage or fantastical or epic or romantic. But then I realise that’s a dream for an alternate reality me.

Expression

She was his muse,

His canvas,

His light in the darkness.

A fairytale come alive,

A living shadow rippling

Through the light.

He got on his knees and cursed the Gods,

Cursed the dream,

Cursed the night.

She held him in her bosom,

As he wept,

And comforted him.

For she was his only means of expression

And he was damned without her

____________________________________________

This is a rough free form piece of poetry I wrote on the spot. Maybe it shows.

To me it’s about obsession and love, the creative mind and the torment that comes with that. What is it to you?

In 2018, You Will Be Alright

 

The D/s dynamic.

Master. Slave. Submissive. Dominant. Switch. Primal. New. Old. Divorced. Separated. Isolated.

No matter what you’re feeling, no matter where you are in life, 2018 will be okay for you.

It’s easy though feel fear approaching the new year. What have you achieved? Where are you going? How will you get there? What plan do you have?

The thing is, through hard work and determination, through taking one step at a time – no matter if they’re baby steps – you’ll be perfectly fine. It’s an old saying but it’s something that I found when I was at the lowest in my life – things have a way of working themselves out. What that means for you, time will tell – but things tend to fall into place.

But you can’t expect things to come to you. These things take work. Time. You have to want what you’re seeking. And some days you need to challenge yourself, cauterise the negative thinking and get out of bed.

The same goes for people new to the dynamic, new to exploring where they fit into all of this – whether you’re single and looking for the right partner, whether you’re in a marriage and trying to find the right balance –

All you need is patience, love and the drive to explore and educate. You may not feel up to it every day, some days it will be tough and overwhelming and you will feel like you are about to crash, but keep pushing, keep moving. Keep thinking this is just one day, tomorrow is a new start. A fresh start.

You can achieve anything. If I can, you definitely can.

 

I Used To Want To Be A Nude Photographer


I used to want to get into nude photography. 
I wasn’t just interested in capturing the bare form of a man or woman though, that didn’t interest me as an artist. 

I wanted to make the piece as much about the setting as it was about her form. I wanted the piece to be as much about her trust to me, and my trust to her as it was about the setting.

I’ve always felt like a director, have always loved films and TV. The technical aspect of it has always enriched my mind and stimulated me mentally.

To that end, I could see myself capturing something other people think is mundane – a woman nude vacuuming. About to step in the shower. Hanging the washing.

I love nature, so I’d have to do a theme and set in nature as well. Maybe back home, where the grass is sun kissed and the forest is overgrown. 
Since I’m a fan of Halloween, a Halloween set would be fun. It could either be campy, like an old William Castle flick, or it could be atmospheric and offbeat.

I do have to stress that it wouldn’t be something as forward and conventional as a Hustler mag. I’d want to build around a concept – but more then that, I’d want something that means something to the model, rather then her purely being an instrument in the process.

As much as she might be my conduit for the art, I would want it to be a collaborative effort. A symbiotic relationship. Something she could be proud of just as much as I would be. 

Whatever we do, the possibilities are endless, really, as I’m always inspired to write or capture something in someway.

The Nude Selfie

I’m writing this at 1.57am so apologies if I’m rambling or not making sense. But a topic came to my head and I wanted to talk about the nature of it. And since this is the internet, let’s do this. 

With everyone online, and humans being naturally sexual people (or sexually repressed people), it had to happen sooner or later. The nude selfie. The display of one’s own body. 

Sometimes it’s a cause. Other times it’s empowerment. Sometimes, it’s for shits and giggles. Whatever. But I wanted to talk a little about the art of it all.

Just now, I typed into Instagram the ‘nude selfie’ tag and I got quite a bit of hits, as you’d imagine. It’s late, I’m pondering. Sometimes shapes intrigue. Sometimes I like looking into people’s homes. 

It’s not the act of nudity that intrigues me, I just discovered. It doesn’t mean that much to me because I don’t know the person. Im sure they’re appealing, but it doesn’t hit me like my kitten being naked would. Im of the mindset of having that direct line to the heart behind the shell and that makes it sexy.

So when I see a nude selfie and it’s a man (though it’s usually a lady) with her girls and lady garden out, my mind kind of stutters. 

And I’m probably a snob, you know? Because what I’m getting at here is that what is more stimulating to me as a person, or as a sexual deviant, is when there’s some sort of composition to the image. Maybe they’ve got their hand over their breasts, their lower half hidden, maybe there’s a silhouette behind a shower curtain, maybe it’s comical in some way. 

I’m a fan of mystery. I’m a fan of putting thought behind it, because anyone can take a nude photo and go – here I am, Uncle Sam – and things are fair dinkum. But to work around it? To get creative? I dunno. That’s a person after my own heart. 

But then, I’m guilty of taking the non mysterious pic too. I’ve sent a few cheeky pics to my lady and on Fetlife I just got in and out with a snap. 

I dunno. Maybe it’s the creative beast in me, framing images and thinking of low lighting and ways to position yourself. Sometimes I think I’d like to photograph someone in the nude. But in a tasteful-Playboy-like way, not in a hopping-in-the-shower-here-I-Am way. Although! Naturalistic is beautiful too. And I definitely am an admirer of a beautiful lady slinking off into the shower. But I’m getting sidetracked. Where was I? Oh photography.

I’d like to do that. I’d like to do a set with a theme, kinda like Suicide Girls but probably a bit avante-garde and black and white and artsy somehow. See? Snob!

There’s beauty in the human body. And I think there should be thought, on occasion, to be creative about how you capture this. Obviously this is my ideas, and when sending cheeky snaps to one another, things can be simple and sweet, but for the nude selfie folk out there, the artists, the instagrammers, whoever and whatever, experimentation could be fun.  

Portrait

 

 

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This one’s just a short one, born out of the notion of looking at people and thinking of what kind of life they lead. I went for intimate and short but sweet. Let me know how I went.

 

Picture this, if you will.
A blonde woman arrives home dressed in her work uniform, a dull grey top with black suit pants.
With a sigh, she throws down her purse, a simple pink thing, and collapses on the bed.
She is 24 and lives with her mother. She is single. She works Monday-Friday, nine to five, at a shoe shop. And this afternoon, she is exhausted.
Her room features walls decorated by a collection of album covers from her favourite artist – Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Cream – it was her dad that led her to fall in love with the rock and roll of the sixties and seventies.
The woman runs a hand through her long blonde hair and registers that it needs a cut. She sighs. Something else to keep track of across the week.
With that, she reaches down and slips out of her black pants.
Her legs, slender and pale, stretch across the floor, sliding against the fabric of the carpet.
She glances down at her underwear – plain bright green boylegs – and hooks her fingers around the elastic and pulls them off.
It falls to the floor twisted and crumpled.
From there, she unbuttons her top. That falls to the floor as well.
She’s wearing a black bra. It’s nothing fancy but it’s the kind of thing that becomes fancy in its plainness. Pretty soon that falls off as well, tumbling onto her blouse on the floor.
The blonde woman stretches back completely naked and feels the ceiling fan skim air down to her small breasts.
A lifetime ago, she would have hated her breasts – absolutely hated them.
Now, she thinks they’re the best thing about her.
She couldn’t describe why, perhaps it was just age that led her to see the appeal within herself.
With that, she fell into a peaceful nap.