Sensory Overload

All it takes is for her to duck into the lounge room where I’m resting, completely nude, in all her mesmerising glory, to grab a head band for her bath —
And my mind is transported away.
She is chained to the bedroom, completely naked, her arms and legs spread apart.

There’s a bag over her head. Something new. Me being sadistic by toying sensory deprivation. She won’t be able to see. She won’t be able to quell any concern with a kiss. How long should I leave her with the bag on? Perhaps when the air runs low, when her mind is dazed, I could bring her to the brink of her orgasm — and as my mouth rests over her cunt, my tongue teasing her clit with small licks, I can remove the bag.

And as her senses rush back to her, her body seizes with all the power of an orgasm. 
The dizziness of the air rushing back to her melds with her pleasure. Maybe it’ll catapult her senses sky high. Maybe she might be elated. Soaring high into a space that’s beyond the norm but not beyond my reach.
I could bring her back with a gentle hug, soft words – and the reminder that I am in charge of her. And all that she is. 
And then I’m back in the lounge, a grin forms across my lips. I know just what to do. 

The Mind is Always Evolving


I don’t think there will ever be a time where I’ll stop growing and evolving. Where I will reach the limit of my growth and can say ‘well, I’m definitely into all of these things and kinks, there’s nothing else’.
Though that’s sometimes frustrating, especially when someone asks ‘well, what do you identify as?’ And I have to stumble on my words to say I’m a mix of things, it’s also a thing of beauty. Because there will always be something brand new to discover. 
For example, there’s a huge part of me that identifies with the 19th century gentleman and this unspoken undercurrent of Dominance and submission. Jane Eyre, apart from being a terrific read in general, was deeply erotic for me. 
And I identify with this gentleman because a big part that I’m drawn to is regulation. Polite wording like ‘Pardon me’ instead of ‘huh?’, standing up straight – etiquette like that – it speaks to me.
And there’s so many different nuances to something like that. Chin up, beck straight, hands to the side, hands behind your back, ask for permission to go out with your girlfriends, all these different things that branch off to different concepts and regulations and ways in which the relationship can evolve or adapt.
But then aside from this strict gentleman, or the 1950’s household hybrid of that gentleman, there are the other aspects of my personality that I’ve discovered along the way, the Daddy and the Master.
The Daddy aspect has always been with me, I think, since my early twenties. And as I got older and more at ease with myself, it has been more prominent and refined. I’m sure if I co wrote a blog with my lady, she could vouch for times it comes out – say, if she’s snacking before dinner and I tell her not to, she can hear it in my voice. Or if she’s ill but staying up late. Of if I want to read to her or be by her side when she colours. 
Recently, I’ve felt a different side bubble to the surface that bears similar traits to a Master. This crosses over with the 19th century gentleman, as the concept of setting rules and regulations in a M/s environment with many different concepts also at play intrigues me. But it’s also not quite the dynamic that fits my current relationship, as my kitten and I sit somewhere between the M/s and Daddy / LG concepts. 
It’s weird to explain because the mind shifts at any given moment and borrows traits from established roles. So it’s a mix.
And as such, I think I will always be finding out new things about my mind. Maybe I’ll change. Maybe this relationship will change. The How’s and the Why’s can be pondered all night, and this thought is lengthy enough. 
Bottom line is that I’m always growing and learning and finding new ways to live and play and explore and that’s beautiful. 
How about you, stranger? Are you a mix?

Do Not Be Afraid Of Who You Are

I’ve been in the lifestyle for a number of years – 12, technically. And yet, a number of those were me wandering in the dark scared of my own desire. Fearful of who I was. 
I’m much better now, with an open dialogue between the various aspects of my personality. But I still struggle. Whenever I am about to post, I am scared initially. Scared that one day, one thought will go too far. One story will be too rough. Or weird. 
I mean, I’ve written about sea creatures and vampires and sex cults and you guys are still here. But I still worry. 

And so today, I want to talk about fear.
For some, it starts at the beginning of your journey. You have a thought so effective that it scares you because of how you perceive it – that it’s weird or demented or troubling. 
Maybe it’s not just a thought, maybe it’s a mindset. A rape fantasy. A bondage fantasy. Maybe you’re a masochist and you’re trying to understand why you like sadistic concepts. 
Running from that thought won’t work. I tried. I ended back at square one face to face with the thought. And I’d feel guilty.
The trick, I think, is to begin to rewire your outlook. Day by day, steal a moment to yourself and think about what scares you. Remind yourself you’re not alone. That it’s okay to be the way you are.
For me, it was a long and slow process. I signed up to Fetlife. I challenged myself with nude photos. I dived into the local conversation. And day by day, I’d take a moment to read about it, in books, online. 
I think because I always kept the door open to learn, that eventually it became second nature to me. I felt okay being this weird mix of Daddy / Master / Primal.
Even though that’s my story and everyone is different, I feel like the keeping the door open notion is useful. Don’t run from it, keep one foot in the door and one foot in your comfort zone until you are ready to take a wander through entirely.
What we feel, who we are, is natural. It’s what makes us beautiful. Whether you’re interested in bestiality, like an old friend of mine once was, or whether you’re laying in bed married but out of sorts with your spouse. 
The first step is admitting these thoughts are okay. Are your own. The next step is up to you. You might fall or stumble but you’re stronger then you realise. You’ll be okay.
If you need help taking that initial step, if you want to run by a desire just to hear someone else let you know it’s perfectly fine, if you are confused, whatever the reason, you’re not alone. My email – my door – is always open.
Don’t be afraid to step through. 

Playing With Fire: A Daddy Dom Ramble


I’ve had a few drafts of what I want to say. I can’t figure out how to be precise with my words here. So expect some free form stream of consciousness.
I watched this show where a teenage girl was hovering her hand over an open flame, admittedly been through a lot, not to mention being a teenager in the first place. And my mind jumped to so many different tangents with the image. Experimenting with pain, sexual

Identity. Guidance. 
It kicked off this whole train of thought that is current doing the round. Which led me to writing it down here. 
I’m a Daddy. This much is true, whether it’s sexual or instinctive. Or darker. 

And I’m of two minds – one half trying to comfort this teenage girl while the other half helping her to experiment. Because experimentation, under watch, can be rewarding. So maybe my hand on hers, feeling the slight burn. No going back. Showing her that there is this whole side of things that you can practice as a form of therapy, if controlled in a healthy environment. 
And I’m not too sure why. 

I often wrestle with my animalistic impulses. I’ll shy away from the absurd because a handful of people understand and the rest don’t. 
I think the reason why this show has sparked feeling with me is partly because I was that experimental teen, dealing with pain – unhealthily at first. So when I see a teenager, male or female, struggling, I become that surrogate Daddy. Whether they like it or not. Because I can’t help it. And because my heart is too deep, or so they tell me. 
When I was first fully exploring my Dominant side, I met a teenage girl through Whisper going through a really rough time. I was 26 at the time. And she was flirtatious and sent nudes randomly. And I understood why. Or partly understood. 

I didn’t act. I didn’t want to. She was certainly attractive. Legal, if you’re mind is going there. But I could feel she was trying to justify something, her worth, herself, anything. And so I talked to her, told her politely as I could that the nude photo wasn’t necessary. 
And I don’t know why or how I came to it, but I saw her as a little sister. And whenever she texted me to vent, I would listen. Whenever she called, I would listen. 
And eventually, she stopped calling. We stopped talking, I didn’t bother her. I get it into my head I’m annoying – and a part of me felt guilty about the fact that I was even talking to her, because age. 
And age is weird. When my kitten was 16-17, I was 21. And I wouldn’t dream of dating her then….but now, it’s okay. Our minds are weird. Human, I guess. 
So when I see a teen or hear of a teen struggling, I see myself. I’m instantly transported to my days of discovery. And I guess that sparks on a transformation into a Daddy.
And I’m writing this all out because I feel like it needs to be said. I feel like there’s this sort of creep factor or age barrier that comes with the Daddy Dominant that misconstrues meaning. And I feel, a lot of the time, there’s a younger audience to my blog that needs to talk about something to a random who doesn’t know their friends or family. Who needs to hear they’re okay to experiment. 
Just like sometimes I need someone to tell me: it’s okay to feel like this. It’s an instinctual thing. You’re not a fucking creep. Even though, through writing this, I kinda feel like I am, you know?
So: the image of this girl testing the flame. It made me think of myself, it made me want to guide her, tell her things are okay. It made me want to walk the path with he while she opens the doors to discovery and sexual identity. 
This may be an 18+ blog, with mature themes, but I’d never turn anyone under 18 away. Because that person was once me. 

For those who are about to write, I salute you!

Sometimes I see someone follow me and sometimes, more often then not actually, I see they’ve deleted their own thoughts. 

Uh uh. Not happening. You and I , reader, we owe it to ourselves to write. To document our thoughts. Not only is it helpful but it’s therapeutic. So please, try again. I promise to read. In fact, whoever is kind enough to follow me, I make sure I read and connect. Even when my anxiety and introverted nature get the better of me. 

But here’s the thing. I too didn’t want a blog in the end. I thought “oh there’s a crowd out there that will definitely frown on me” and I buried the idea in my mind. Until I was encouraged – which, by the way, is thanks to all that read here. Never stop dropping in, I love it. I hope you’re well. God bless.

So even if you think what you’re saying is stupid – write. Even if you think you’ll get laughed at – write. We are our own worst enemy. So ignore that little bitch and get writing! Promise me? 

The BDSM Mentor

What is the BDSM Mentor?

It’s not your Dominant. It’s not your submissive. In fact, it’s not sexual in any way. I suppose it could be in unique circumstances but for the sake of this article right here, it’s not. No, it’s not sexual in any way.

First and foremost, a mentor is a friend. Somebody to be there for you in a comfortable environment. To hear your thoughts, to give you time to speak and work through your own thoughts and when you are having difficulty, to help you. To guide you.

So to that end, you have to find a mentor that shares your ideas and beliefs because you have to find a friend that will teach you and guide you in what you want to know. There’s no point having any difference in that, is there?

For example, my methods of teaching are this: I talk a lot about etiquette and psychology. Anything else would be shoving my beliefs down the subject’s throat. Were I mentoring someone, my belief is that I listen to what they want for their own identity and offer my advice, which they can choose to take on board or not.

Can a Dominant only mentor a Dominant? Can a submissive only mentor a submissive? I feel like you’ll get a different answer for every different person. I suppose in some ways it’s true that a Dominant has things to say that a submissive could not explain, just like a submissive can have things to say that a Dominant could not explain.

But that’s not to say either person can’t offer advice, that they still can’t be a mentor to you. That’s my belief but people are different.

Take a recent event for example: I decided, what the hell, I’ll put up my services to be a friendly ear/mentor on Fetlife. My little post got taken down. Why? Well, good question. I think because maybe I offered it to both Dominants and submissives, maybe the owner wrongly interpreted it as a booty call when all I was doing was offering help. It angered me because I know people are out there that need guidance…

…but again – can a Dominant only mentor a Dominant?

I’ll end this discussion with a bit of a story. Because stories are fun, aren’t they?
Recently, I put up a piece of my own erotica on Fetlife and I got a like. Now, I usually message people after that, just saying thank you very much because it’s still rather lovely to me. Usually I don’t get a response and that’s fine, I just wanted to thank them. I’m not expecting anything.
Well, this one submissive person actually messaged me back after that and said

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I was moved to tears then and I still am now. To think that people that come to me and my advice gives them strength? It touches me in ways I can’t even describe. But it’s through an encounter, a random encounter by the way, seemingly destiny, that says to me that it’s possible for a Dominant to mentor a submissive just like it could be possible for a submissive to mentor a Dominant.

After all, I wouldn’t be the Dominant man I am today if it weren’t for all the submissive ladies of my past that taught me a thing or two about myself.

30 Days of Kink – Day #16: The Difficult Aspects of Your Sexuality

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In the beginning, the most difficult aspects of being into kink was my personality. I am too kind. I am too shy. When I was learning the ropes, I would be hesitant about, say, using my full aggressive self against my submissive because I didn’t want to hurt her.

Furthermore, I couldn’t communicate my deep darkest desires because I didn’t feel confident doing so. The most difficult aspect was my inner self.

Now that I have grown more confident and assured, the difficult aspects that I have faced was finding someone to share it with. Sure there is Fetlife and many other BDSM related sites but even on those, there is a challenge finding someone to connect with. Especially if you’re an anxious individual such as myself. To find someone that you connected to on an intimate level as well as sharing some kinks – that was a tough one. And it was only by chance, that I connected with my beloved so I consider myself very lucky in that regard.