Be you submissive or dominant or a lovely hybrid of both, if you’re new to the lifestyle – the great wide wonderful world of BDSM and kink and dynamics, chances are you’re bound to make a mistake. You’re bound to misinterpret or have a hiccup or stumble.
It could be forgetting to do a task, it could be a selfish reasoning to dominate, it could be an error in or out of the bedroom.
And you know what? That’s fine. That’s great. That’s okay, because that’s how we learn to improve — and there’s no shame in that. At least, you shouldn’t feel that way inclined.
So long as, if we are indeed in the wrong, we learn from the error and grow through the experience, that’s okay.
When I started off in the lifestyle, I didn’t even know it was a lifestyle. There was my first mistake. But even more so, I was thinking like a young mind. I was thinking I’m terms of only my dominance and not entirely of the needs and mindset of my girlfriend at the time.
Even when I entered into my first fully 24/7 relationship I made some hiccup mistakes – lapses in judgement that, after a discussion regarding it, I could understand the different perspective. And I learned from it.
Talking to others in the lifestyle really helped. It still does. I have an eager mind to talk sometimes when my anxiety doesn’t override my nature. Talking to others helped me understand, helped ease my mind into the mind of a submissive. I learned to become patient, to develop my awareness of the submissive self.
Having a family comprised of women certainly helped shape my understanding and nature I would say, but it was talking to – for me, submissive women – that helped me understand.
I understood my shortcomings, I understood a need to please, I listened and asked questions where I thought to.
So take it from a general fuck up – you can pick yourself back up and keep moving on, so long as you listen and understand and admit to your own misdirections – if any.
Remember: The only silly question is the one not asked. Talking to others and listening with an open mind and heart is key, as well as being open with yourself. Because you might very well change – and sometimes change can be good.
If you need to chat, doesn’t hesitate to reach me at — email@example.com