Aftercare For My Dominant Self

What does aftercare look like for a Dominant?

That was the question I’ve been asked recently and I admit, I had to ponder the response: As a Dominant I am so used to providing the aftercare that I can often forget about my own. Don’t get me wrong — Aftercare does happen for me, it is provided to me, I just am so concentrated on Domming in the moment that I don’t think of it for myself.

But living – and dominating – with an anxiety disorder, the need for aftercare does come. Particularly after a CNC scene or even when I immerse myself in a primal session where thoughts and feelings come savagely and freely. It’s almost like my ye old Catholic upbringing kicks in and I flinch back into Catholic guilt and it’s that guilt that undoes my progress towards healing.

So what helps combat it? Well, a few things can ease my Dominant mind. Naked cuddling is a big one — picture, if you will, Me nestled against my submissive, cock against their ass with my hands wrapped around their waist and tracing the shape of their breasts.

Other times it can go the other way — I get sensory overload and I just need a minute alone. To collect my thoughts but also just to breathe a little until that odd bit of sensitivity passes.

I’ve also been known to fall asleep by my partner when I’m needing aftercare. Whether she’s catching up on Drag Race or playing video games, I think her presence alone can soothe me – so I tell her not to adjust the volume and I’ll nap. And I do! Maybe it’s a noise thing. Sitting with the background noise that helps quiet my busy mind!

And sometimes it goes the other way: I need to be reassured. No matter how many times I’ve heard it, I’ll need to hear it again because that’s my brain. It’s like a plant that needs watering. I just need to soak it in. Otherwise I’ll talk you to your grave with my constant mind wanderings. I’ll spiral.

Then there are times where I enjoy a moment where my submissive sits either beside me on the couch or by my feet, naked and collared and with a leash in my hand. Maybe we’re watching something light. Animated shows or Disney or some 80s Dark Fantasy. But I like the leash in my hand. I like her here with me. I like her naked. These things are calming and relaxing and bring me back down to our realm beyond the trees.

When I need to be alone, I need to be naked in the forest, listening to the rain on my phone or rattling my window. Nature soothes and recharges me. Helps me reflect, helps quiet my mind. I can process my savagery / desire for roughness and such in that silence. I can balance that chemical imbalance.

At the end of the day, you could say it comes down to nakedness, nature, reassurance that my self is okay, movies and meditation.

That is my aftercare.