Some Household Rules in the DOMINANT/submissive lifestyle

When I first took my submissive under my wing, she was brand-spanking-new to the lifestyle. We underwent a lengthy training session each Saturday and Sunday where we laid the groundwork for the basics in a D/s relationship – the safe word, speech training, the reaffirmation of her individuality and her self and her needs.

Now the healthy principles that should make up the standard D/s relationship should go without saying of course, but more often than not, how many of you newcomers are a little bit confused about regulations and how to enforce them? I was once where you were standing. We’ve all got to start somewhere. Be you Dominant and just starting to learn or a submissive looking for pointers – I want to go through some of our household rules that may be of interest to you. Granted, our dynamic is a bit of a hybrid exploration, a bit of a Daddy/ little girl or Master / slave mix but maybe you will go on to shape these rules to your own specific relationship.

If I am unsure, I will ask. I will not be punished for not understanding.

This one is key. We’re all learning. All the time. And you know what, we are all creatures of habit, so some of us aren’t going to take to the training as quickly as others. We all learn at a different pace.

Though I may be submissive to Him, I am in fact His equal. If I feel that I am being treated unfairly physically or emotionally, I will let Him know IMMEDIATELY.

Absolute. Being a dominant does not mean you get to arrogantly lay claim over your partner, in any way. At the end of the day, you are either in a state of play or in a relationship. Human. Be kind to one another. Kind and attentive and open.

I understand that in this relationship, my needs come before His wants

This one right here. Her needs come before his wants. Reading it, it sounds so simple and yet it might take a lot to practise. Yes, your Dom may claim ownership and instruct on you a regular basis but not without your input — NEVER without your input. Your comfort comes before his and always should. No matter that animal magnetism you may feel towards him, try and remember this. You are his equal.

If I am too ill, tasks and activities may be postponed until further notice.

This one is important to me because at the end of the day, primal beings we may be but we are still human. We still have messy emotions and there will most likely come a time where one of us feels like death or blah or just down. This goes for both parties.

I will be completely honest with Him and I can expect Him to do the same with me.

Always. Always always ALWAYS practice complete and utter honesty. The D/s relationship takes more focus and communication because of the deeper connection there between the two roles. Things that aren’t open for discussion for the vanilla folk that are afraid to take those steps are open to us and thus, we have to take great care in making things as beautiful as they can possibly be. Especially when we are dealing he delicacy of the submissive’s soul.

These may seem like common sense to some – but it always blows me away how simple these concepts are but how they can be lost to some minds.