I’m part of the Darker Side of Spice Erotic Con Event – Coming This June 17th!

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Ladies and gentlemen, stop the press! I have some rather exciting news!

For the very first time ever I will be taking part of a BDSM Con Event DARKER SIDE OF SPICE hosted by the lovely and talented erotica author P. Nelson.

What exactly is this event? I’m glad you asked!

Kicking off June 17th and running through till June 28th, Darker Side of Spice is a virtual event that sees over 25 individuals – including best-selling authors, Dominants, submissive’s and BDSM coaches – interviewed by P. Nelson about the lifestyle, their inspirations and all the things you were curious about but never wanted to ask!

Apart from hearing behind-the-scenes stories on writing erotica and how these authors come up with ideas and characters, you’ll also have a chance to delve into such topics as –

· Romance in a BDSM Dynamic

· Facing your Fears about your sexuality

· Characteristics that will drive what kind of Dominant or submissive you will be. 

· What constitutes as Safe, Sane and Consensual. ·

· How to introduce toys to the mix. 

On top of that, you’ll get the chance to grab some goodies, including erotic books and the like! All you have to do is click THIS link and register for your free pass and to check out the other attending authors! You’ll also get to hear my awkward voice debut too!

Arghhh! I’m excited! Are you excited?!

Food For Thought Fr-..er Sunday: Sexy Sounds!

How do you communicate pleasure? Are you a moaner, a groaner, a screamer or a sigher?

I would say I’m definitely a moaner and a groaner – just think of something deep and husky and low!

I’ll add to that one and say I’m a growler too. Biting her neck, nipples, pulling her hair – all of these things and more bring out a growl.

If you are with a partner, how do they like you to express pleasure? How do you like them to express theirs?

Kitten seems to enjoy my on-the-fly mumblings. I have a tendency to mumble moan obscenities when I’m lost within the scene or daze – just things like ‘oh fuck…’ quietly if we’re playing side by side together – or ‘fuck, you drive me insane.’ Basic talk I guess?

As for me, I love her to be her unabashed self – whatever that is – filthy, insatiable slut, little Slave, loud and unapologetic.

Aside from vocalisations expressing pleasure, what other sounds during sex add to the overall experience?

Oh many a-things! How wet she is, her little coos, the sounds of my cock slapping against her skin as I pound her and then it’s the little things – her breathing, the soft sounds of her pinching, pulling , twisting, flicking her own nipple. It’s her voice, possessed and unlike her ‘vanilla’ self, that says the most animalistic and beautiful things.

These writing prompts came courtesy of Food for Thought Friday, which you can find here!

Let’s Connect Via Tumblr

Tumblr’s fun. People post little thoughts on their minds, share artwork – naughty or nice – that reflects their mood. People write in to you anonymously, which has happened to me a few months ago. It’s nice. It’s lovely.

Anyhoo. If you want to connect with me on Tumblr, I have a little get up over there right here.

I swap stories, share enticing imagery. It’s a chill little dive. We play all sorts of music all hours of the night. The lighting is a bit dim, it might smell of cigars and sweat and beer but it’s cosy, I assure you – and the atmosphere, the low glow of neon lights, soft rock in the background, lively chatter, pool balls clattering together, the sports on channel nine – it’s all lovely. Feel free to doze in a booth in the corner, just make sure you swing by management first and let them know you’ll be relaxing.

Here’s to happy hour and potential new friends!

Food For Thought..er…Sunday?

I’ve just stumbled across a nifty little idea – Food for Thought Friday – and I thought I’d try my hand at it, since some of you enjoyed my 50 facts… post.

But what’s a guy to do when it’s Sunday in Australia, not Friday? Answer questions from the past three F4TF blog! Which, by the way, you can find here.

So let’s get into it!

If you take risqué photographs, what is it that you enjoy most? The creativity, the composition, the feedback you get from those who see them?

I used to be more risqué with my photos. I did some on Fetlife when I first signed up, to combat my own anxieties and self confidence, so if anything, they were for creativity. Something to express for myself.

The same goes if I’m sending them to my lady – which doesn’t happen as much because I’ve startled her one too many times while being super busy! It’s a creative expression that I want to share with her specifically, but I do love her reactions 😀

If you participate in any of the memes above, what made you decide to take part? How did you feel the first time you linked a post for others to see?

I don’t post nudes of myself on my blog here. But I guess, for anyone on my Fetlife, I don’t necessarily mind you know? Like, I’m doing it for my own confidence. I can’t worry about anyone’s feelings other than my own or how my lady feels about that particular photo. And in that sense, being open about said nudity is just one of the ways I keep challenging myself to be and to feel Open.

How comfortable are you sharing semi-nude/nude/sexually explicit photos of yourself, either online or via a “sext”?

I wouldn’t say very comfortable at all, but I like to keep positive. Again, to challenge myself. If it’s up there, It means I’m giving the middle finger to any lingering doubt.

Share the details of a particularly memorable “first” – what was it that made it so memorable for you?

Oh gosh! Just thinking about this makes my tummy flip. I remember being floored at just how transformative my lady was, in the beginning. Keep in mind, we were newbies together, though I had a little more experience than her, had done years of soul searching before, as she had done on her own. But before we reconnected, she was wondering what this meant and that meant. And so the submissive was inside her already. And I was the first to train her on the ways. She was, in many ways, my first student.

But listen to me, I’m rambling. When I say she transformed – she’s not meek in any sense. She’s an extrovert where I’m an introvert. However she’s extremely shy as well when it comes to explicit natures. So when we first interacted, when I choked her for the first time and she hissed like a women possessed — ‘is that all you’ve got?’ – Fuck me, man, If that wasn’t magic I experienced. Seeing that transformation and then reacting to it, kinda like in how werewolves transform, I could feel my my bones shifting, tensing, with my own transformation. It was divine.

How do you employ your senses to enhance your enjoyment of sex?

There’s a lot of touching, of exploring pleasure and pain in a touch. I like the contrast. But something I feel heightens the encounter is looking into each other’s eyes as we play. I feel that’s intensely personal.

Writing In The Dark: A Reflection

The other day I thought about my own writing on this blog. I wanted to critique my own writing, not in some self-indulgent wank way, but in the hopes that maybe through my rambling, it might answer a question someone wanted to ask.

The main question I’ve gotten is – why so dark?

And I don’t know if I can properly answer that, but I’m willing to try:

It’s dark because I find that fascinating.

Anything that comes out on this blog is some strange fantasy of mine, something that comes in the dead of the night, something that comes to a sleepy mind, something that comes in a lucid dream – or day dream.

This blog here is like a box. Or maybe a prison. Some kind of container I expunge these darker impulses into – and that’s why, for the most part, they are coarse and unrefined.

I know my writing can be lacking or grammatical incorrect or what have you, because you’re looking at the very first draft, scribbled hastily as I’m possessed by images, sounds, settings, all merging together to create something divine and deep an dark.

I do this primarily to share with the world. As a writer of course my goal is to thrill and arouse, but in another way the goal here is to put out these twisted thoughts to show others that you’re not insane, there’s someone else as strange or gothic as you! Whether any of this stories achieve their goal, I don’t know – maybe they don’t and maybe they do.

In any case, I need to write for myself. Because I too hope I’m not alone in the world, in my fantasies.

But to circle back to an earlier reason – I write these things because I’m fascinated by the mindsets involved. The battle of wits, the tangles of bodies, the power play. The struggle.

It’s a canvas to explore my animalistic nature, my sadism, the thoughts that scare me. Sometimes it’s about empowerment given to the lady in the story – the one that assumes control, from below. Sometimes it’s nothing more but a transcript of a dream. An intimate look into my mind.

I like to challenge perceptions, push limits of characters or reader. I don’t know if I’ve done that but I like to try. I like to push my own limits, see how deep I can go.

I rarely have an ending in mind when I write. A story lives it’s own life. Characters come alive and I’m merely transcribing how they react through whatever means I can.

I do this in a fever dream, tasting and seeing and experiencing as I go. I’m the first reader to see it, in a way. An observer.

Hopefully this has shed some light on the writing process for those that have wondered or are interested. If you have any questions, let me know!

3 Day Quote Challenge – Day 3

I’m late to the party but forgive me, my mind has been distracted.

Let’s begin!

“Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! THUS, I give up the spear!”

At the climax of Moby Dick, Captain Ahab goes out defiantly, facing the very opponent that had driven him mad.

No big meaning behind this one. I’ve always found the language so raw and piercing and beautiful. Ahab, surging with all the intensity of hell, knows he is facing his death and even so, is still consumed with desire and rage and hatred.

It’s tragic, it’s searing and it’s potent.

Thinking Out Loud: Looking at Mental Health, BDSM and D/s Relationships

In my time of blogging, not to mention my own existential wanderings, I’ve come to realise that there is a relationship between those into BDSM and anxiety and/or depression.

The only thing I have had trouble understanding is the answer to the question – why?

Do these two things exist because of each other? Does one lead to the other? Is it through our development, whatever leads to the makings of anxiety in our mind or biological make up, that we become drawn to BDSM and Dominant / submissive relationships?

I’m not saying that you can’t have one without the other – you obviously can – but since opening my blog and talking to the gracious souls that wish to strike up a dialogue, a recurring theme I’ve seen is that anxiety and depression are threads that weave in and out of these lives.

I don’t know why. Sometimes I like to think it’s my anxious mind that helps me be kinder to the world and to partners and to people. Is that another connective tissue or am I simply being egotistical at this point? Questions upon questions.

Maybe I’m not qualified to even answer, or to write this article. I’m a writer, not a therapist. I merely think out loud.

I don’t know what to tell someone when they ask if their interest in BDSM is linked to a trauma that occurred early in their life. I can’t say, only offering to be a sympathetic ear and to gently remind them that practicing BDSM and D/s safely should not bring about any guilt.

I don’t think we’ll get all the answers. Maybe we’re not supposed to. Maybe, so long as things are practiced in a healthy manner, so long as the individual’s state of mind is calm and in a positive state, maybe the why isn’t as important as the how.

In the end, what’s important is finding that sweet spot of living peacefully with your demons. Of safe environments in BDSM, of living with grief. Co-existing, you know?

Make time for yourself. Take care of yourself. Remember that living with a mental illness CAN be compatible with BDSM and a D/s relationship because the physical safety and mental well-being of those involved is a key factor and can be safely explored, with or without a partner.

When I began to actively explore BDSM and a D/s relationship, I didn’t know where I could stand. I often have so many thoughts that I need to have someone who can reassure me that things are okay, that they won’t tire of my questions or run out of patience. And I found my footing! And the same can happen for you!

No matter what has happened, we can come back from being knocked down. I have to believe that we can. Even in my worst days of panic.

Three Day Quote Challenge – Day 2!

‘I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work’ – Thomas Edison.

An unfortunate habit of mine is to spiral into the depths of depression and highlight anything negative about my mind or my way of thinking.

And so it extends to my life, my writing, this blog or any interaction within this blog.

This quote helps me realise that we are not failures. We just found a dead end in the maze and have to retrace our steps. That’s all.

So if you find yourself in this mindset, if you’ve found yourself out of a long term relationship and can’t see the sun through the clouds, remember: this isn’t the end. This isn’t failure. It continues. Life continues. No matter how hard it is, your story isn’t over. You can still find your perfect life and achieve your dreams.

Dominant Writing Prompts #1: On Love

I’ve been thinking of ways to keep the blog fresh and engaging and interactive, and so the internet led me to some DOMINANT PROMPTS that I am borrowing from dominantguide.com

Before I begin, I just want to say, if you have any prompts for a question or story, let me know. I’m happy to engage to get the mind active.

Is love different in D/s relationships compared to vanilla ones?

In a way. Love can be universal but we can express it differently in a D/s relationship.

We love our partner as anyone would but it takes on different forms that are expressed through different dynamics.

Using but one example, I lick sometimes to display affection. It’s a very primal thing that is shared between my kitten and I. It’s something that comes out in certain occasions.

So I think love tends to take shape according to the individual in the dynamic and the protocol within the dynamic.

Do Dominants and submissive’s love differently?

I believe their love is connected in that it can stem from a number of ideas, among them the need to lead and a need to be led, and come together in harmony. But I think the things that they are drawn to, while equal in strength, can be different.

That appeals to me, the reasons why. That difference. Maybe it does to others as well.

Have you experienced submissives falling in love faster than Dominants?

No. In my experience I have seen both Dominant and submissive types fall in love pretty quickly.

And while I haven’t done enough research into this, I would say it really depends on the individual and their personality and view on love.

Are there different ways of love in D/s?

Oh my word! Absolutely. From the Daddy / Mummy and his / her little to the Master and Slave to the primals and their pack of pups, there are plenty of different ways of expressing love, physical or emotionally.

That’s the beautiful thing about it, I find – the idea that with someone you hold dearest, you can safely explore the deepest part of yourself without fear and judgement. And that this deepest part of yourself can take on any form is the best realisation on this journey.

April AMA!

I’ve been wanting to do another Q & A / AMA as these are usually a good thing for me. Either something I’ve never thought to mention comes up, a question can challenge my perception – OR I have an opportunity to be informative.

So if you have a question you want to ask, shoot it my way. It can be fun or random, absurd and silly, naughty and nice, about the lifestyle, about my tastes on the world, it can be about music, love, life and the random encounters that make it magical. It can be BDSM related, story related, you can recommend a novel or a movie – BDSM related or otherwise – the sky is the limit!

So whether you have a pressing question, whether you’re a new reader or an old one. Whether you want to be bratty or cheeky or a smart arse or just want to talk – please don’t be shy and fire away. Don’t worry about me being busy. I’ll always find down time to respond!

And by all means, feel free to either respond in the comments or through email!