The Submissive’s Positive Reflection

Here’s something I like to address with my pet:

Each night, probably while we are laying in each other’s arms, I get her to tell me about her day. I get her to not focus on the negative aspects, if any – I am teaching her to acknowledge them, lay with them if you must so they don’t defeat you, but don’t let them overcome you.

So I get her to tell me about what’s positive in her life, what’s she happy for. If she strays – that is to say, if she starts to wander down the stormy weather path – I will hold her gently and reaffirm that she is beautiful and so is her place in the world.

Why do I do these things?

It builds confidence and strength and I believe that it forces her to look at her life through a clear window, maybe and hopefully even in a new life. Too often we can walk through our lives and take it for granted but if I work with her through her positive reflection, not only might she look at her life and be thankful for the positive elements but here’s hoping it will build her self esteem and make her feel that much more sexier.

Whatever she wants to talk about in these moments where we reflect together, reflect her own thoughts and feelings and something may tumble out all beautiful like and delicately. It’s these moments that I want to happen, that she will feel more and more confident about conquering the negative feelings in her life.

So I feel an immense satisfaction by reflecting with her. My heart soars, I can’t stop smiling. I feel like that Dominant part in me – the part that wants to nurture her delicately – is satisfied.

So be you Dom or sub, consider positive reflections on your day each night. Maybe in a month you can look back and see a change.

The Collar And The Leash

10771b962238440b57a07e91120abec0

There’s something so primal and raw about leashing your submissive that it all connects to my beast. It’s something that connects to that that force that many don’t want to really talk about or address. And it is something that connects to Animal Roleplaying, which I will get to at a later date. But what I wanted to talk about is the psychological play about the collar and the leash.

The thing is, it doesn’t even have to be sexual. It can be just something shared between the two of you, just a beautiful past time. When talk about The Leash, I talk about having her by my side as I read or as we play video games together, or watch our favourite programs. She is always by my side. Always. She has that security she so craves and I am satisfied by owning her in such a way. I feel complete, like my animal tendencies are fulfilled. Fulfilled – there’s that word again. Curious isn’t it?

The collar I have touched upon earlier but the leash? The leash bounds her to me. Her movement is restricted and anywhere she has to go, she has to ask my permission. She has to ask my permission regardless but here, she’s definitely restricted and incapable of acting out. Why? Because all it takes is a gentle tug to remind her of her place.

It’s something that ties into our very basic and primal instincts, something that we can play with in a safe environment – I.E our homes. Essentially, we are animals. Don’t fight that thought because there is no progress traveling backwards. We are animals so why not harness that edgier and primal side in this context?

Of course there is the sexual side to the act as well. Seeing her as naked as her name day, with nothing but the collar on and the leash, which is in my hand. It makes me want to take her. It makes me want to unleash her, direct her to the bed in the position that is my favourite, and it makes me want to take her, to howl with her. It makes me want to pump her till my cock pulsates and unloads my warm come upon her face.

Does The Collar and The Leash bring out the animal in us more so? Do we find truth in our interactions? Do we unlock secrets from the depths of our brain? And why does it feel so fucking good to have this woman by my side, leashed and all?

Household Rules in the DOMINANT/submissive lifestyle

When I first took my submissive under my wing, she was brand-spanking-new to the lifestyle. We underwent a lengthy training session each Saturday and Sunday (her days off from a business schedule) where we practiced what should be the basics in any healthy D/s relationship – the safe word, speech training, the reaffirmation of her individuality – which I believe is important for the relationship but I also think Mad Max is a great action movie and some may not, get my drift?

Now the healthy principles that should make up the standard D/s relationship should go without saying of course, but more often than not, how many of you newcomers are a little bit confused about regulations and how to enforce them? I was once where you were standing. We’ve all got to start somewhere. Be you Dominant and just starting to learn or a submissive looking for pointers – I want to go through some of my household rules that may be of interest to you. Hopefully you will go on to shape these rules to your own specific relationship.

If I am unsure, I will ask. I will not be punished for not understanding.

This one is key. We’re all learning. All the time. And you know what, we are all creatures of habit, so some of us aren’t going to take to the training as quickly as some submissive’s might. For the Dom that may be reading out there, be patient. She wants to learn and please you and I bet your bottom dollar she is scared of being punished for making a mistake. So comfort her, be kind to her. She submitted to you for her protection. Protect her.

Though I may be submissive to Him, I am in fact His equal. If I feel that I am being treated unfairly physically or emotionally, I will let Him know IMMEDIATELY.

Again, this one can be shaped to the specific relationship but I feel like the landscape of the D/s relationship can be a portal for emotional abuse. Say a submissive submits to a Dom that doesn’t really know what he’s doing. God forbid she thinks normalcy is him taking advantage of her at every point. How that goes depends entirely on the psyche of the specific man. Ladies, always know your man. I’m not trying to be preachy, I’ve seen this happen more times than I care for and I am deeply invested in a submissive’s wellbeing. Which brings me to my next point.

I understand that in this relationship, my needs come before His wants

This one right here. Her needs come before his wants. Reading it, it sounds so simple and yet it might take a lot to practise. Yes, your Dom may claim ownership and instruct on you a regular basis but not without your input — NEVER without your input. Your comfort comes before his and always should. No matter that animal magnetism you may feel towards him, try and remember this. You are his equal.

If I am too ill, tasks and activities may be postponed until further notice.

This one is important to me because at the end of the day, primal beings we may be but we are still human. We still have messy emotions and there will most likely come a time where one of us feels like death and simply cannot maintain role. I think this is more than fine. You can’t help catching a virus and think about it, the body breaks down with some of the nastier strains. One submissive might even feel anxious because for all the effort the body is doing to fight the virus, it may not have the resources to stop the anxious thoughts. In these times, be the understanding Dominant. Be there for her.

I will be completely honest with Him and I can expect Him to do the same with me.

Always. Always always ALWAYS practice complete and utter honesty. The D/s relationship takes more focus and communication because of the deeper connection there between the two roles. Things that aren’t open for discussion for the vanilla folk that are afraid to take those steps are open to us and thus, we have to take great care in making things as beautiful as they can possibly be. Especially when we are dealing he delicacy of the submissive’s soul.

 

These are only but five examples of Household Rules. There are more, much more. If such a topic is of interest to readers, I’ll be more than happy to go through them at a later time. As such, I know how busy life can be and how we might not always have time for grand comments so for the time being, this is all there is!