Torment

A pretty little thing lay bound to the bed, chains linked across her bare body.

Her auburn hair had fallen across her furrowed brow, strands reaching down to mask her eyes.

The muscles in her neck clenched tight as her stomach reached up to meet the cool kiss of the chains around her breasts, pockets of ice biting at her nipples.

He hovered above her, a leg on each side of her, his thick and uncut cock fully hard as it frames shadows across her belly button.

His cock bobs in the air – in truth, he uses what muscles he has to hold tight. He feels the pleasure swirling from the pit of his stomach down to his shaft, reaching its own tendril to skim underneath his testicles.

Pre-come glistens the tip of his cock. He knows this, is aware of this. He uses this to his advantage, letting a strand run down his shaft and across the length of his testicles to drop across her chained stomach.

She murmurs in frustration, a strangled sound somewhere between a beg and a fierce cry. He may be aware of how Come is dripping in a sequence of dots traveling upwards to her breasts but the one thing He isn’t aware of is how badly she craves to taste him.

Her thirst is ridiculous, unquenchable. In this moment, bound and at the mercy of Him, she truly believes that if she can’t taste him, just a drop even, she will descend into madness.

In a heartbeat it terrifies her, this longing. An image comes fully formed to her, an animal writhing and growling and howling, it’s throat raw, spittle bubbling on its lips, pupils large. It’s body vibrating with desperation. Somehow she understands that she will become the animal if she doesn’t own up to her own feelings, if she cannot accept what she wants and the ferocity of how badly she wants it.

She can feel his come smack against her flesh, can lift her head just enough so that she can see his Cock bobbing in the air, a drop beading on its head, but not His face. She imagines his smile – and her thirst for him grows.

Late Night Reflection

One of the reasons why I started this blog was because I have so many dark thoughts in my mind – sexually, you understand. Sadistic thoughts, deviant thoughts. Perverted.

Sometimes that can get lonely, sometimes – well, not sometimes – for the most part, I have a thought that could consist of having a sex Slave frozen in the snow, just to see her tits harden, to challenge her perceptions psychologically, sometimes I think of brutal, feral rape.

And I think I’m insane – the only person out there that feels that way. And so starting this blog was my way of making sense of that primal unfiltered part of me, with the hopes that A) I would find I was not alone and B) I could help someone out there that’s just like me. Maybe, some way, I can help them find their voice.

It means so SO much to me when someone writes to me and expresses how they’ve been trying to find the courage to write to me to ask a question or engage in a discussion about the subject matter I wrote about. I think it take immense strength to approach someone and open up about something so personal and I’m honoured some part of me can help in some small way.

Looking back on my growth, as a human, as a man, as a lover and as a dominant – my journey through bdsm and kink has been so much more than labels and D/s and dynamics, it’s been about my journey to begin to express myself, process myself and to take the steps to accept that part of myself, to understand what I can.

Writing helps me reflect on these desires, to examine their depths – and to create, which I love doing. So, here’s to trying to write more.

Spring Brings Out My Primal

I can hear it – the rain rattling across the roof, a rhythm just for me.

I can feel it – stirring from its long rest, shaking off the fog of sleep.

I am aware of my heart sounding off in my ears, the warm blood in my veins.

My toes uncurl against fresh sheets, eager to move, to race.

Nothing has no rhyme or reason. What is the meaning behind the season?

It wrestles me to take hold. I feel its needs take control.

And I am but a puppet, a monster cast in black and white. Expressionistic. Fatalistic.

Bones and muscle lock in place.

Gnarled fingertips claw beneath my skin. I feel it frustrated deep within.

Without it I’m a shell, a jagged edge incomplete. I need it here with me, in on chatter, eavesdropping with devilish delight.

Come and set me free.

An Open Letter To Kinky Teens

Hey there. I hope you’re having a lovely day.

The first thing that I want to say is that, if you’ve found my blog through whatever means, I hope that there has been a piece I have written that has made you see that you aren’t alone in what you are feeling.

That, I feel, is the most important thing I can say or write to you right now — that what you are feeling can feel like a vortex of insanity but that doesn’t mean you are insane and that doesn’t mean what you’re feeling is wrong or disgusting or outrageous, no matter if you’ve had a parent tell you, or an ex tell you – some people are scared by it, some don’t understand it. And in turn that scares them. Don’t let their conceived reality become yours.

You have it in you to be strong and you certainly have it in you to overcome any barriers, to learn and to organise your thoughts in a way that will make you less anxious. You need a platform to organise them, to talk of them. But you are certainly up to the challenges of such a task! And I promise you, the more you practice a challenge, the easier it becomes in time. I wish I knew that growing up.

I was 12 when I started exploring kink – running through forests naked, indulging in things I’d later know where primal. I was 16 when I started exploring degradation and humiliation, not knowing degradation and humiliation were terms for what I found arousing. I only know these now because I did some digging and soul searching in my twenties – and that’s another thing you have on your side – time! Time to research, to assess, to know that being submissive is more than taking orders, it’s about your inner power and inner worry, just as being dominant is more then control, it is about knowing when to lead and when to be led, as well as harnessing both yourself and your partner in a safe environment.

Please be safe. The internet can be a wonderful place where people are so welcoming but it can also be a place for predators, faceless figures looking to take advantage of your naivety when it comes to BDSM and D/s.

I wish I had websites to recommend or teen-friendly sites for BDSM and kink, I don’t. I learned the long, hard way – typing things into google, finding non-fiction books like SM101 by Jay Wiseman from Goodreads. The little things like that that helped me. But I also did stupid stuff, like finding kink communities on the Whisper app and openly talking about my problems. Don’t do something like that – don’t open yourself to that kind of hurt. I know I’m being the hypocritical adult here, that’s a lot of adults for you – we make mistakes and don’t want that for someone else but — just be careful. Don’t rush into anything with anyone, talk if you must and learn but be mindful of your self and your worth and the power you have in your sexual identity.

Because let me tell you, you’re normal and you’re lovely and there’s not a thing wrong with you. I remember feeling like that, and you know what? I remember learning that I wasn’t alone in the world, that people were just like me out there.

Take your time. You’ll be fine.

I will never turn anyone away that wants to talk, regardless of age. My email is always open.

August Q/A!

Hello!

It’s been a while since I have done one of these Q/A posts. I normally like to do them every month or so – for new readers or longtime readers or even lurkers – just so that there’s a space to ask some questions, be they about BDSM in general, my writing or even if you just want to understand dominance in general – but I realised I haven’t due to pesky life. Weird.

Anyway, for this month’s I’ve collected some questions that I’ve been asked and that I’d love to share with you all. If there’s something you want answered please don’t hesitate to get in contact with me at my Twitter or tumblr or even email – darkanddominant@hotmail.com

You couldn’t possibly be a bother, I truly swear.

I’ve always wondered what kind of things do dominants see in those who are submissive that marks them as that?

This is an excellent question – because a lot of the time, I feel a sense of something and I never know if that’s my own imaginative mind, a product of my anxiety disorder or what so there’s always a chance of me either embarrassing myself or being right after all.

Generally, it’s mainly a sense that I get. I can get that vibe through text, it can be in the way they express themselves, something that I feel between the lines. Sometimes I can sense a brat through jovial chat, or a primal through late night musings. More often then not I can sense it in person, through body language or eye contact. I don’t know how I sense it, but it’s there in the pit of my stomach. And it could be my mind running to places or it could be genuine, both have happened.

I remember (incoming ramble) – when I was separating from my wife and I was introduced to this chat app by a friend and through that friend I met a tight knit community that helped me heal.

They were all non-kink folk, it was a general chat, but I befriended – somehow – this lovely New Yorker amongst them and each time I was on, we talked more and more to the point where we built up a sort of friendship. And one day she mentioned she was reading 50 shades of Grey. And me, at this point, wasn’t the fully formed dominant I’d be months later, but I was on the path and through talking to her – I don’t know whether I was simply there, whether I helped or whether the universe is magical and for whatever reason we were two beings drawn to each other’s energy, but she came to more of an understanding of her interest in kink and how truly submissive she was.

There are pockets in time where I’ve had that happen, either to close friends or to the lovely people who write in to me. But yeah – sometimes it’s even a case of working through their personality with them, like maybe they really are a switch or a masochist or maybe they are feeling primal and it’s been eating at them for a while. For whatever reason, I get an inkling there.

What’s a favourite story of yours from the blog?

My favourite stories are the ones that I write and I get lost in it – the world disappears, my eyes glaze over and my hands are just writing furiously and often with a lot of spelling errors!

‘Sand’ is one favourite of mine, because it’s dark and weird and slightly grotesque – but I can taste the salt water and smell the beach. Feel the slime of the invasive creature.

Another favourite would be ‘Hera’. That one was part of a contest, where I used the winner’s concepts and then wrote them a story, which was weird and science fiction-themed and anime-inspired but – again, it was a love letter, in a way, to my own geekiness but also just some really dark twisted things that make me quite aroused.

I love ‘Valhalla’ as well because so far it’s just been this big, beautiful and sexy mess of writing. I began it when I was watching a lot of anime and reading a lot of graphic novels so the idea of a continuous story, with story arcs and ideas and such, in this setting, was fascinating. It’s still going on my mind, and I will keep going until I feel I’ve done everything I can with sex Slaves and Norse mythology.

Are there different degrees to being primal?

Outside of wanting to explore primal play as either a predator or prey, I would think some of it trickles into the lives of people, no matter the environment.

Because you’ve got to understand, being primal isn’t strictly about sexuality or being sexual, it can be about being silly or angry or sad – so long as you acknowledge those feelings and don’t bury them.

I’m no expert, I can only go off my own life denying my own urges to be primal and what it was like to suppress them and then to finally give in to that intoxicating and giddy and guilt-inducing feeling. But I feel like some, like me, are interested in feeling the more extreme sides, and everything that comes with it, the sexual, the pet play, the running naked, the feral, lovely sex.

Where as some might just want to run naked and feel the lighter sides of being primal. Maybe they are scared of what will happen to their minds, which is a real, genuine fear and is terrifying, or maybe they aren’t interested in the BDSM-play or sexual side of it. Maybe they aren’t even aware that what they are feeling and experiencing is primal. And if anyone out there is struggling with coming to terms with letting out their inner animalistic side, I am always here to talk when you are ready.

What stories, if any, are you working on now?

So right now, two stories that I’m working on are Valhalla, which consists of me laying the ground work for future stories – I’ve done a lot of research into Norse mythology and who were the major characters in those stories, as well as who were the minor characters that make up the background. It’s a lot of fun to not only form a mythology on top of mythology but also, at the same time, explore the sexual identity of these characters.

The second story I’m working on is set during the later years of the Wild West, in which a woman in a small town starts to discover she’s a dominant. That one is taking a little more time because I keep rewriting the first part – and the more I rewrite the longer and more unwieldy it becomes for me.

I mentioned it in passing, probably a few hundred articles ago, and the idea of this woman on the verge of her discovery, in a time where the Wild West was giving out to a new world, excited me. I loved the idea so much I started researching customs and small towns and politics and relationships. It was the best sort of feeling you can get as a writer, to want to create.

But I’m still tinkering at the idea. As a reader with a ferocious appetite, I see a lot of male authors write real clunky-like from the perspective as a woman, so I’m trying to write in a way that I hope is sincere and not awkward. We will see.

Are you more of a music guy or a movie guy?

Probably more of a movie guy. I like my music, I was raised in a household of music and with an itch to play a musical instrument, so I like to listen to anything from The Beatles to Chet Baker. The other night I was in a real Motley Crue / Guns N’ Roses vibe – real glam rock / seedy dive vibe.

But I do love my movies and I watch a loooooooooot of entertainment. From horror to animation, science fiction to comedy, I really like anything that challenges me, makes me laugh, thrills me, even if it’s absurd. I like my old spaghetti westerns and mafia films, and o could probably talk about film-making for hours. I’m a big geek.

Anyway, that’s me done for now. If you have a question, please do not hesitate. I know it can feel like you don’t know what to say or how to even say it but if you just write in and it feels messy, try to ignore it because I promise you I read every word and there is no judgement whatsoever from me.

Some Safety Measures For New Submissive’s

Since I started this blog, one of the most common things I hear or read about from anonymous submissive readers of mine is that they’re in a emotionally abusive relationship with a man who either doesn’t fully understand what it means to take the mantle of dominance, he doesn’t care in the slightest or he’s just being cruel and manipulative.

Today I wanted to write about some safety precautions for the new submissive out there, in the hopes that it open minds and even helps in some regards.

Let’s start with the false dominant. To me, a false dominant is someone who is abusing their status in malicious ways. To some of them, dominance is just a thrill for the moment, something to be discarded with once they find a release.

In a relationship a false dominant might restrict their submissive’s communication to their friends, might demand access to their apps and profile to monitor their activities. They will make decisions for their submissive – in a relationship where that aspect has not been agreed upon by both parties.

These types of dominants can skip straight to sexual talk when you meet them. They usually flash some charm until the shields are lowered and they can tap into what they want, like a mosquito. It’s the thrill, you see. It can be intoxicating to them.

Some might even demand things of you before an agreement has been established between the two parties, ignoring your self or interests for their own.

Sometimes months can pass between communication and the submissive will find herself baring every inch of her body and mind while she is given nothing in return from this person. It’s not equal or fair, it’s purely that everything is in this dominants favour. And it’s disgusting and unhealthy and abusive.

Safe, Sane and Consensual.

The most important concepts a new submissive can reflect on is that, no matter how inferior you feel to a dominant or to yourself, that’s simply not the case. Not only is the dominant or submissive equal in and out of the relationship unless a specific hierarchy is agreed upon before hand, the submissive has the power to choose, to give their body and mind to the dominant.

After all, you are giving control over and they should decide who is worth that control. No one can boss you or give you orders or dominant you until you give consent. If they argue otherwise, they’re just a plain jerk and not worth your time.

When I think of consent and think of negotiating the terms of what that looks like in a relationship, things are…ritualistic for me. Documents are involved, long late-night discussions take place. How consent occurs for me is irrelevant though – the point is that it is a discussion that needs to take place whether you are Fuck buddies or entering into something long term.

Even if it’s an idea you’re not sure of, raise the issue first, don’t let it fall on the back burner otherwise it can create some disturbances later in the relationship. It could fester.

Do some research into what you want to explore, look into the safety of what you want to explore – and know the limits of your mind. If you’re not sure what they are, be sure to state that it for when you reach that point in time so you – and your partner may know. And in doing so, FORMULATE a specific safe word for your limits, soft and hard.

Fantasy / Reality

This is tricky, in the sense that wanting something in a fantastical sense might not be the most realistic option – or the healthiest. I like to write about some dark things – rape among them – but I acknowledge these as a fantasy and not that reflective as me as a person or as a dominant.

Your head and your fantasies can be frightening – alienating and dark and animalistic – but this doesn’t mean you’re disgusting or awful. The difference here is that, of course you’d want these instances to occur, if at all, in a controlled setting or environment.

Understanding that line between fantasy and reality becomes easier the more fantastical thoughts that occur within your head – because you become used to accepting them and dealing with them – and in turn they help you apply this method of critical thinking when it comes to relationships.

You have a say

Just because you’re submissive doesn’t mean you don’t have a say in negotiating or any D/s concepts. You have a voice and I guarantee you that you have worth and your ideas are worth talking out loud and exploring.

Trust me when I say that your own voice will be appreciated by the right dominant. I, personally, love the input of a submissive mind. I want to hear their thoughts on the discussion and when I was negotiating with my own kitten, hearing her offer her own thoughts and fantasies was not only welcomed and a breath of fresh air from thinking in my own head – but it was sexy as well to hear what was lurking deep in her mind.

That’s all from me now – if you have any questions, my email is always open and you are welcome to write any time.

Sex, Death and Nightmare Fuel

You know what’s interesting? Why my brain mixes filthy sex in an absurd setting with the horror genre.

I mean, one minute I’m hiding in a factory warehouse with a beloved actress from her friend transforming into a werewolf she beast — and the next I’m driving an American car while a Greek woman is naked and grinding into my kitten from the passenger seat of the car.

If I were to tell my mother, the gentlest human I know, the woman who would literally wash my mouth out with soap for cursing, this she would stop and think a moment — and say ‘Well, you didn’t get this from me.’

So why, brain? Tell me, why.

I’m an avid horror fan, ladies and gentleman. If you’re a long time reader you may have probably picked up on that fact – I merge erotica with dark fantasy and usually horror and I can tell you right now that a lot of my stories are purely from dreams – there’s hardly any fat or any filler I add later, it’s purely dream or nightmare fuel.

But yes, I’m an avid horror fan – Be it through books or film or tv, I soak up any media. Less so since I’m growing older and softer — but as a genre it’s something I gravitate towards because it’s such a liberating genre in a way – an artist can take this imagination and illustrate it via writing or via a movie with effects or lighting or animation – and that creation and ownership of fear, of that feeling of dread, is exhilarating and such a purge of emotion. I mean the world stops dead. You exist in the moment with this piece of media, do focused by this fear.

And sometimes not – sometimes you’re watching a bad movie you’ve seen way too many times before. Sometimes it’s a different purge, it’s a killer and these teens are going to get it. They’re stalked in a build up that is unleashed in a violent climax. Which, by the way, was always kinda sexy to me in a way I didn’t want to talk about because I felt guilty and fucked up. It was very primal and in a manner of being predator / prey.

So why is my brain mixing horror with eroticism? I have no freaking idea. Maybe because dreams are a funhouse of thoughts waiting to collide in some kaleidoscope of colours that is dependant on what you absorb in your life? Which, in my case, is the psychology of sex and…werewolf movies? I haven’t seen any lately? But I do like a good tortured human / beast movie!

I could be here all day talking elements – Why was I driving an American car? Why a Greek woman? Why on my lady? Because – back off, stranger – she’s mine! And why in a warehouse harbouring a werewolf?

As a horror fan, in the waking world, I was always intrigued by how horror films stimulate in their own way – how pressure builds and relaxes, builds and relaxes. Especially in, say, a slasher film, where sex is so often associated with death. A cynic would say that’s all marketed to the teenage demographic – and that’s correctomundo – but so many of the people I’ve met and friends made along the way as I’ve handled this blog have been into horror – so there’s a definite sexual link there beyond selling tickets to horny teenagers. It’s been interesting to find, in my own personal journey, that people who enjoy slasher films particularly are primal, whether they are aware or not.

But! It’s 2:43am in the morning and my caffeine is wearing out so it’s totally possible that I am just overtired and over-thinking!