Do What Makes You Feel Alive / Late Night Ramblin’

As I sit here, half naked in front of a fan to avoid the scorching Australian summer, half trying to tiredly map out Valhalla chapters, a thought comes to my mind.

I’ve been on my Tumblr, scrolling through my feed, ghosts of stories coming to me from the remnants of safe-for-work semi-sexual pictures and I think to myself – we need to do what makes us happy. We have to be in it, whatever IT is, for ourselves.

I mean, when I was starting out as a Dominant and I was on Fetlife looking for answers, everyone had their own code, built up from whatever they felt right – and that’s fine. Everyone has their own customised role from the pre-established basic rules of BDSM and it’s many dynamics. But I struggled to find what was right for me.

The thing is, you need to – we need to – follow our own hearts and minds and desires and see where that leads, especially when it comes to our interests in BDSM. Sure we might fall. Sure we might hurt ourselves or even someone we love, but if such an event occurs, there is an opportunity to learn from that. And with learning comes growth.

I almost didn’t start this blog you know? I thought for sure that there were other, more experienced people – experienced Dominants, male or female – though I confess, I did initially think ‘experienced dominant males’. I mean, I thought: Oh I’m some joe blow from down under, I’m 26, what do I know? What can I add to the table?’ – I still think this.

I still think – what have I got to offer, even now? After all these years? I don’t know. But I’m not the point – the point is – you can’t think like that. You can’t afford to.

Who cares who is more experienced? We all grow, we all adapt and learn in different ways. At different times. We all bloom as flowers in different seasons – and we all make our own way.

More importantly, our differences are validated and can be thought of as unique. And difference can be beautiful to behold. I know that from learning the slow, slow SLOW way.

So, lurkers and readers I don’t hear from, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t compare. Don’t dwell. Try not to ruminate on how others run their lives – you’ll only find that leads to torment. Focus on what makes you laugh, what makes you giddy. What makes you alive.

Goodnight world. Sleep tight.

O Sweet Voyeurism!

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You know..I’ve got to thank you guys for putting up with my rambles. It’s really refreshing to know there are people out there that are squirming to my words, even when I write A LOT. This is going to be a different post. I hope you like it but if I stray too much from the general theme of the blog, please speak up.

Tonight – at least in Australia – I want to talk about Voyeurism. Because It’s something that has been a recurring theme in my life, this I’ll tell you now. From Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho and Rear Window to my adventures as a teenager.

It came to my mind again while I was sitting here just lurking on the pages of the people that enjoy my ramblings. I’m sitting in the lounge room in the dark, just thinking as one tends to do. Then a light shines up through the crack in the blinds, probably coming from the house across the street. But what’s interesting is that my mind jumps to the image of a bedroom window, the blinds slightly open, enough for me to peer through…and when I do, this woman, she’s peeling off her panties and revealing her bare ass to me. And the light of her bedroom bounces off those delicious curves of her ass.

And then I got to thinking. My bedroom window can be easily seen into from the opposite side of the street. I sleep naked every night, I am often naked in my home. Has there been a time where a person has caught the curves of my ass? Or my cock stiffening in the morning, as it tends to do? Do I venture with them into their dreams — or their showers?

Do I…Dominate their mind?

No, this thought has little to do with BDSM but the connecting thread here is my animal. All it took was the light to shine through the blind and my mind jumped to that. What is that? Boiling it off to perversion is too easy. It has to be something deeper than that?

What would I do if this woman caught me undressing in my bedroom? What would I say if she was collecting her mail the same time I was and our eyes met? The thought being —  I know you saw. 

O, such a delicious thought to wrap up the night.