It’s 10-24pm on a rather toasty Friday night and I’m lounging nude in bed.I wanted to write on my blog so right now, my phone is lit up in front of my face. All I can hear is the relaxed breathing of my pet as the lonely cricket chirps outside.
What I wanted to write to you all about is this:
BDSM has grown to become something like a religion to me. I connect to it spiritually, it guides me in life and in many ways has changed my life – for the better.
It’s not just about spanking her – or that she likes being called a whore when I come on her face. It’s not about the punishment. If anything, it’s about the love. It’s about the guidance.
I mean, yeah – It’s pretty sexual. I’m a guy with a ridiculous sex drive. I’m horny as fuck right now, I’m writing with a hard on. I’d ride my sweet honey were I not under my parents house right now and abiding by their rules. But that’s off topic – yes, sexuality plays a part. A huge part. But there’s something else there and it’s HEALED my mind.
In my mind, BDSM isn’t just about sex and bruises. It’s soulful and deep and intimate. It’s about connecting with people and finding this bond. This deep itch you both have that sets you apart from the others. It’s about finding who you are.
Lord knows I’d worship a BDSM shrine if there was one. I’d have my pet kneel before it as I stroke her head before cleansing her with my come. That’s beautiful to me as much as it is ‘fucking hot’.
I don’t know, ladies and gents, I just feel very deeply about it.
I read this article, I’ll post it in edit later when I get to a computer. It stated BDSM is a useful practice for people with anxiety. And they’re right in my case. Being a sufferer of an anxiety disorder and rarely going a day where I don’t analyse if I’m good enough to lead (joy of irrational fear), I get this completely. Leading, teaching obedience and discipline and having this soul under your protection – it really does heal me. It helps especially the more ‘brutal’ we become – though this does not mean I take things out on her. I know my line and though I push it, I push it so with her ALWAYS in the front of my mind.
Anxiety needs an outlet, right? Well when I simply lay with her under my leash. Well, I’m calm. I’m still. It’s like everything has fallen into place.
BDSM has probably saved my life. I’m not exaggerating. Before I decided to become a 24/7 Dominant – or that I decided to just transform into who I was meant to be, I felt like something was missing. I couldn’t pinpoint what. This lead to me becoming irritable and moody.
In the back of my mind, I knew I wanted it but in that time, I was too scared to approach my then long time partner about because having done so early in that relationship she was completely uninterested. It was a blow but I stuck to it, you know? That was what love was about. But that was toxic for me. I was unhappy. And when she decided she wanted another man and left, I was hurt and distraught. But I knew that she did what I was scared to do. And though I had pain to work through, I was also on the path to becoming Dominant. Only I didn’t know it then.
Much later, after getting to know my pet and having that love grow, I feel rested. I feel at peace. I feel, finally, happy. Anxiety will have me pacing but when my mind is clear, I’m happy. D/s relationship and BDSM are now aspects of my day and with it, I grow and learn every day. Friends and family have said I’m brighter now, more livelier. I can’t tell all of them that I whip her ass and she giggles, some won’t understand.
So BDSM healed me. It’s changed my life.
Anyway. Now I’m rambling. If you’ve made it this far, I just wanted to say thank you to you all. Who could I write to if it weren’t for you all? What would I do? You guys (and ladies ) are the best.
As always, I’m here for a chin wag if you need it. If I haven’t replied to an email, it’s my damned connection. So rest assured I haven’t got it so if it’s been a few days – give me three at most in case I’m busy or anxious – send again. I never ever ignore. Not the folk that go out of their way to message. Never ever. So Never hesitate, never fear!
So from toasty Australia, goodnight, sweet dreams, let the bed bugs bite hard and torture and I look forward to hearing from you all!