Why I love strong women: In and out of roles in BDSM


See, the submissive woman is quite strong. There’s a vulnerability there for sure but at her core, she is strong undeterred. This is something that I’ve noticed in every submissive woman I’ve met. And it makes me respect and appreciate that individual more.

I’ve always loved strong women. In my life or in my novels and films. I look back at everything I watch and enjoy and dead set, at the centre of it all is a woman who stands tall above all else, raises her finger to the guys and always comes out on top.

Maybe that’s why I have a nurturing side to me? Maybe that’s why I find Domme’s particularly attractive.

On the latter point, it’s more than just the girl-on-girl action between a female Domme and a female submissive which, yeah – I find quite beautiful and ok, arousing – but it’s the idea of this no-nonsense talking Domme that grabs my attention. I kind of wait to sit in a room with a Domme and pick her brain. I’m not submissive by any means but what fascinates me about anyone is how they think, what drives them and why? I love absorbing people and learning about who they are. About their darkness. And that brings me back to a Domme because there’s a ferocity there. Why is it there? How did it get there? What are they afraid of and what drives them? Any Domme ladies here, see that as an invitation to email me because I’d welcome a dialogue about your life and mind.

But getting back on track – maybe my nurturing side is linked to my love for strong women. Exercises between my pet and I include building her up so that she feels more confident and embraces her inner sex goddess, which sounds cheesy but think about it: if you get to that inner core, that’s your true self right there so you might as well tap into it and embrace it.

And then there is the submissive. The strong woman that makes her choice of Dominant, that takes the punishments and then with all this, she grows beyond all this into something more. Why? Why does she submit? That immense trust and strength there is…well, staggering. I have great respect and admiration for these women, for they are putting their body and minds in the care of someone else, a mind they don’t fully know or might not fully comprehend. Beautiful.

I guess what I am trying to say is: I have a great amount of respect for the ordinary woman, for their plights and battles. Their unwavering strength is extraordinary. My mother taught me this and I love her greatly.

And then, when an already strong woman takes it upon herself to step into the world of BDSM, to learn new rules and adapt to a new environment, I am gobsmacked all over again. Wow.

You know, I could receive hundreds of emails all from readers, some following, some too shy that they stay in the shadows, and it might not be enough. Because I love hearing about everyone and I have an unquenchable thirst to learn as much as I possibly can from these people. Perhaps that’s unobtainable or unreasonable or just plain foolish. But as it is, that’s how I feel.