Memoirs Of A Somewhat Mentor

When I started up this blog a few years ago, one of the first things I wanted to do was to provide any sort of help to anyone that felt confused or lost. To mentor.

To me, that meant being there as much as I could to answer any questions, offer concepts for exercises and just be a presence in this persons life as much as they wanted. To help where I once stumbled. 

I doubted myself at first. Who was I to offer help? Especially to someone who might be much older? And who would even take up that offer? This IS the Internet? 

Long story short, some people wrote in. And some people wanted a platform to talk in case they had any questions. And through email, sometimes rarely Kik, people listened to my advice. They challenged me – in a positive manner, questioning why I felt this way, why I became who I am today. Sometimes I listened to them, offering some ways in which they could challenge their own problems. Sometimes it was to get to the gym, sometimes it was a matter of insecurity. 

I’m humbled by every experience. It’s nice, sometimes, to hear that the lowly things I think and feel about myself aren’t necessarily true to someone else. So I’m honoured and touched in ways I could never cover in a blog post. 

Sometimes a person who has taken my advice writes in to say they’re going on a date. And it warms my heart that I played a bit part, even if it’s minuscule, in their lives.

Other times I feel like a broken record offering my help, but I just feel so strongly this need to help and nurture. It’s like I mentioned a few blog posts back about being an over protective father figure. It could be my kitten’s friend, or a mate of mine, or a mate’s sister – or my own sister. I feel this need to stand in front of this person and shield them, to use a dramatic metaphor. And this quality both embarrasses me – because I feel it’s unjust – and runs through my veins. 

So acting as a mentor – a friend, advisor, however you want to call it – warms my heart. Because I get to open the door to this person across the world I’d probably never meet if I didn’t challenge myself to write this blog. And I get to learn new things about myself, I get to challenge my perceptions. I get to help. 

Anyway. I won’t go on any longer. Have a lovely day!

30 Days of Dominance – Day #1: Define Your Dominance


I did a 30 Days of Kink, which may or not feature a few recycled questions / answers. In the interest of the activity, I won’t look it up. I’ll just write the prompts here each day. I hope you join me on this deep dark adventure!
Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I believe my relationship with my beloved kitty Kat would fall under that of just a Dominant / submissive.
But in saying that, there are aspects within our relationships and personality that have different encounters and / or feelings. She can be a little most times, while I can be a Daddy. Definitely the owner / pet dynamic, with her taking the role as a cat specifically. She loves her scratches behind the ear like I love to give them! 
There’s changes in our moods so at any moment, there will be delicious little shifts and changes in how we communicate, play or react to one another. Whether she’ll be a brat one evening or a cat could entirely depend on the day she’s had, and vice versa for me, which is to say maybe I’ll be an owner, a Master or just myself.
This is why I shy away from definitive labels. Fluidity, I think, is an important factor, those definitions of the types that come out can certainly help a couple in how to explore and proceed accordingly.