It’s the forbidden stuff that drives us. It’s the forbidden stuff that has been linked with Eve taking the bite out of that apple. Oh, luscious Eve – you sensual creature you. Taking that bite was forbidden and yet, that curiosity – that desire to know what that sweet apple tastes like, that drive that compelled her to sink her teeth deep into the apple – it’s what makes us human.
So why do we recoil when we discover we’ve been fantasising about something taboo? A rape fantasy…an incestuous relationship? Forbidden and yet..desired. Why? Because we are human and because, like it or not folks, what makes us human is that darkness within us all that desires these things.
I find it interesting when someone says they don’t have darker sensual thoughts. Fair enough, plunging into an incestuous relationship isn’t for everyone. Maybe you like the idea of being watched by your neighbour as you are pleasuring yourself? Maybe,,just maybe..you find yourself fantasising about a person when out and about?
I touched on why we are aroused by darkness and danger with Sex and Death but now Roleplaying is on my mind — just like forcing my then-pet to squirt onto her parent’s bed was on my younger and more clumsier Dominant’s mind. Why? Because of the thrill of roleplaying, because that forbidden feeling, that intoxicating surge of electricity, is what drives us.
And still the question remains: Why do we recoil? Why do we fight it?
Emotion plays a key role. I think whatever is working within our brains has a part to play with each different taboo we want to cross off the list. Why do we enjoy a rape fantasy? What is it that draws me to the fantasy of holding down a sister and tasting her sweet self and why is it, there is a pang of guilt when I admit to enjoying it? We have to let go of these boundaries. Maybe they hold the key to some sort of enlightenment. But the last thing you want to do, I think, is deny that.
I’m telling you now: Don’t. Establish a safe boundary and explore it. Sit with it, get to know it. You might walk out of the experience a changed person or perhaps a wiser person. Or maybe it’s just like anything else and it just arouses you. Simple as that. Or is it really?