So This Blog Has Been Running For Five Years Today.

^ I never used to be comfortable with choking until my current partner, my kitten, egged me on like the low-key shit stirrer she knows she can be. That’s why I used this picture. Once upon a time, I used to squirm at choking. I used to feel nothing but distraught and guilt. I still do but now, at least, it comes with a level of horniness, precise control and sadistic glee.

But hello! Happy Thursday! According to WordPress, today marks the five year anniversary of this here blog. Since I’m sentimental about time measurement, I thought I’d indulge in a little note here.

I can’t start a sentence with a ‘I just want to thank…’ without thinking I’m accepting an award BUT I do genuinely want to thank each and every reader out there – the lurkers, the ones who found the courage to ask questions for themselves, the ones who trusted me enough to take me on as a mentor – or life coach, I suppose. Or is that lifestyle coach? Either way, I thank you for your endless support, your constructive criticisms, your challenging and friendly debates and your presence alone.

This blog has been an invaluable source of inspiration and growth for me, as has the people who comment in because concepts have arisen that have helped me reflect upon myself – such as that time I co-wrote a piece with a fellow writer about sadism and why I’m that way. But I feel like I’m still growing and finding things out about myself.

If I learned one thing about this experience, as both a human and a dominant, it’s that writing out my thoughts and reflecting has helped. So don’t let time slip by you. Challenge your thoughts, be who you want to be. Write for yourself. And don’t forget, as long as I’m running this weird blog, you’re never out of an anxiety buddy or someone to unload to!

One last thing. I’m always open to suggestions or things you’d like to see a focus on for this blog. If there’s something you’d like to hear about, let me know! Because chances are, it’s a window open for me.

The thrill of choking

In the past few months, I’ve been introduced to choking.  It never occurred to me in my earlier years as a Dominant. Not really at all. Roleplaying? Yes. Forced orgasms? You betcha. Hell, I dabbled in cutting – yes, cutting. A very primal release between two horny teenagers. If the notion seems dark to you, believe me, I had second thoughts about putting it up myself. But now that we’ve settled in together, if you want to hear my thoughts about it, please feel free to email me. I am happy to respond.

But anyway – choking just seemed to cross that line. Maybe it was going to cross the line I wasn’t ready crossing as a Dominant. Maybe it was the one true test but it all seemed so physical and a little bit off putting to me. I don’t want to crush her throat, you know? It takes a great deal of consideration.

Until, in the throes of a kiss, she grabbed my hands and put them around her throat.
At first, I was hesitant to let loose. Oh boy, I wanted to. As soon as my hands felt her flesh beneath them, something just switched on in me. Maybe all my life was leading to this one defining moment – where I become the experimental boy that transforms into the Dominant man. Certainly sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? But let’s get on a tangent for a moment here, shall we? Stop reading my words for a moment and think back on your life. Think about the defining moments that left an impression on you. Now would you say that you needed those moments to get you where you were? How would your life be without them?

Leaning over my submissive, with her cheeky look in her eyes and her hands, this was how I felt about choking her. That it all led to this one defining moment.
A voice in my head said This is what you’ve been waiting for, hasn’t it? Squeeze the life out of her, seize the moment. But I’m human like anyone else, the last thing I want to do is rupture something, resulting in a lifelong injury.

But I put my hand around her neck and squeezed, pressing her down into the bed.
The first time this happened, I held back my animal so as not to kill her terribly. I was hesitant to fully unleash that part of me because that unbridled rage is a little frightening. Tapping into that, I have to be careful. Something inside of me says: Be wary.
The more we played over the days, the more I gradually let the animal out of the cage.
So when that adorable little moan escaped her lips and she licked at the air — when her eyes rolled back into her head as she gasped for breath, I got hard.
I got hard and became savage.
You see, all I had to do was put my hand to her throat and she froze. She was absolutely still. She couldn’t be the brat that talked back anymore because she was so driven to obey me. Her animal wanted mine. She could be talking sass, rocking her head and biting at me with teasing venom but when I grabbed her neck and squeezed, she froze.

So I choked her. I squeezed the life out of her. I felt a faint rage as I did and God help me, I got harder over it.
I would suck on her little nipples and watch them stiffen under my tongue and when I sucked them into my mouth, she would let out that soft cry, all the while struggling to breathe under my hands.
And the thing was…the thing that infuriates the animal within me to this day…even choking to breathe, she pushed against her submissive side to open her eyes and mock me. She grinned and said is that all you got? even when she was at odds and knew I had the upper hand. Even at that time, she was a fucking brat. But I showed her, oh yes I did. And she fell to my command, as I knew she would.

And afterwards, as we relaxed, our primal sides returning to the softer sides, she moaned all breathless and pathetic, trying to catch her breath.
Even then, her eyes were rolling in the back of her head as she came down to Earth once more.

That was…fucking amazing she said between pants.

 

And ever since that time, I have enjoyed unleashing myself upon her when our animals howl at the moon together.

Payback

Note: This one is pretty dark. I surprised even myself while free form writing it. It’s vicious and sexy and just utterly brutal. What I mean is this: Be in a low lit area. Be ready for the journey. Be ready for something edgy.

 

 

 

 

 

Stupid fucking bitch — was the thought running through my head. How dare she mock me, degrade me in front of her friends and family. How dare just wipe her hands clean of me, as if I were nothing. As if this relationship was nothing to her.
I’ll fucking show her.
I see her return back home from wherever the fuck the whore was. She slinks out of the car like some alley cat slut, wearing her short dark blue dress — a thought hits my mind. She’s worn that dress before at her family BBQ. She bent over to pick up a book that had fallen off the nearby shelf and you got a clear view of her purple panties riding up her pale ass. Fucking slut, I bet she did it on purpose.
She makes her way up the porch and turns on the verandah light. Her figure is illuminated – she is curvy and plump. Long mousy brown hair runs mid way to her back. The sight of her cleavage in that tin dress makes me hard.
I’ve anticipated her return, you see. I know her nightly ritual because I’ve lived with her for years.
She’ll get undressed, pour herself a glass of wine, down that in a few greedy gulps and then she’ll head to bed where she’ll read a few chapters of whatever fucking book she was reading.
So I wait. I wait with my hard cock tenting in my jeans. I’m excited by the idea of tormenting the fuck out of this bitch. Fucks me over, does she? Oh, she’ll learn.
Minutes pass and her bedroom light goes out. Here I come, cumslut.
The plan? To brutalise the absolute fuck out of her cunt. Make her feel all the burning humiliation I felt as she disrespected me. NO ONE FUCKING DISRESPECTS ME.
Lucky for me, unlucky for her, I know where she keeps the spare key to the house, under the lounge on he verandah.
I sneak in. The dogs know me so they sleepily raise their heads and look at me but then their curiosity fades.
As I move through the living room and in the hallway, I hear her turn the pages of her book.
Moonlight lights my way easy enough that I can avoid obstacles in my path.
I turn a corner and then I see the light seeping through from the cracks in the closed door. Our old bedroom. How long has it been since we shared a bed? 3 months?
How many times has a man used that vibrator on your cunt, bitch? I find myself thinking. My cock aches.
I push the door forward with two fingers — it swings open slowly and then she notices me, dropping my book.
Her mouth hangs open and my eyes fall on her heaving tits – fuck, it is good to see them again.
She goes to speak, probably to say my name, but something in me propels me forward.
I grab her firmly by the neck and throw her down beneath me. She struggles, making some awfully gasping sound. It’s music to my ears.
Her legs are flopping about, like a fish out of water. Somehow she manages to throw her book at me, the corner of it whacks me in the right eye – I’m momentarily blinded — and she goes to get up but I hold her down.
You FUCKING bitch I find myself roaring. My hands are back at her throat, squeezing the life out of her, the other hand slips over her mouth, muffling her sobs.
Shut up, shut the fuck up.
My hand lifts from her mouth and grips her by the hair, grabbing a fistful randomly. She gets out a scream — then with all my might, I throw her against the bed. Her pale naked ass presenting itself to me. She falls limp.
I unbutton my belt — and that’s when she goes to squirm again but I grip her by the neck.
Wiggling worm, stay the fuck down
“Fuck you” she hisses.
I slip my belt free from my jeans, fold it.
*I am so FUCKING sick of your Cheek”
I whip her. She lets out a sob, gasping hungrily for air. Her body quivers on the spot. I whip her a second time. a third.
Her ass is red now and I am hard.
I hesitate, listening to her sobs. Finding myself enjoying the moment – then she makes a break for it again.
FUCKING…
I lose it, I go into a daze, whipping and whipping and whipping…things blur over..or maybe it’s where her book smacked me in the eye…when I came too, her ass has cuts in it, massive welts. She’s limp.
“Please…”
This angers me again. I whip her again, it feels good. I think of all the time we’ve argued and I hit her harder and faster. It feels good.
She’s heaving now, gasping. Like a wounded animal. The sound is odd.
I sit back on her knees and let out a sigh. She makes no attempt to run. Her face is buried beneath a pillow, she is sobbing.
I slap her ass with my bare hand. Get up
No movement. -WHIP-
Get on your knees

She slowly stumbles up on her knees. I kick off my jeans, toss them on the floor. Her ass is facing me when I turn back to face her and I grin.
You humiliated me. Now it’s my turn to return the favour
She moves her head around to face me, her face is red and wet with tears.
“Fuck Y-”
I spit on her face and she flinches, letting out a sob.
I will fuck you, no problem
I guide my hard cock to her ass, lubricating it with the spit on my fingertips. It takes a bit to ease myself into it – and she’s crying, but she doesn’t scream, she seems frenzied, dazed.
Make a sound though – and I’ll beat you again
She whimpers in acknowledgement.
Then I take her ass. How long? I am not sure. I take it as fast and hard as her virgin ass allows. She’s grunting, crying, as if these are little sharp moans. They only make me fuck her harder.
“S-s-stop” She says but then she falls quiet.
I grip her hips and continue thrusting, starting to pant myself.
You remember my cock when you sit down tomorrow
She sobs at this.
Then it catches my eye and I stop, my cock easing out of her ass, her slumping forward…
I laugh. Her cunt is glistening in the light. The fucking bitch is enjoying this.
I reach out and slide my finger along her slit. She reacts to it, vocalising somewhere between a sob and a moan.
She is definitely soaking, her cunt hungrily tries to take my finger inside but I pull back. She grunts in frustration so I whip her ass again and she falls silent.
Stupid fucking bitch, what will I do to you?