Have I become the overbearing Father Figure?

You know the one. The one that continually expresses concern, long after the person says, perhaps with an eye roll, ‘Dad, I’m fine’.

Maybe, in the absence of not having children, my mind, the part that is biologically ready to break out into fatherhood, was just assimilated by my Daddy Dominant state of mind.

If you’re wondering if I’ve gone mad, you’re probably not wrong. But the psychological state of affairs when it comes to BDSM and the relationship it has with my mind will fascinate me endlessly.

If I had to analyse right here right now, I would say my personality, the one that got the rug pulled out from under him in regards to how people can deceive or manipulate, the one that developed an anxiety disorder, now lays everything out on the table with people. I’m honest because I expect that in return. How they respond is their choice – but me? I want to be pure. I don’t want deceit or manipulation or fear.

And the older I get, and the more confident or used to who I am and my place in the world, my personality has kind of matured into this Father Figure. And BECAUSE of what I experienced through friendship and relationships, I’m overbearing in my caring.

It happens with my lady – I’ll send her to bed if I notice her eyes falling out of her head. It happens to my friend, when I ask if she’s happy where she is in life. And it happens to people who write in sometimes, where I try to create as safe a place as possible for them to feel at ease if they want to ask what they feel is a silly question. 

Not everybody wants to chat in a prolonged state, sure. But more often then not, I can sense when there’s a sentence on the tip of someone’s tongue and they either don’t want to burden me – this stranger – or they feel – well, pick one. Silly. Strange. Ashamed. Pathetic.

So now I try to combat that, albeit gently, by creating a safe space to each and every one. And if that’s annoying, I’ll take the blame of being this overbearing, slightly strict father figure or Daddy Dominant.

Just know I’m aware of this aspect and ease it when I sense it! After all, who wants a lame Dad?

May I ask a favour?

Our BDSM lives are beautiful things. But they’re private, as everyone is unfortunately overly accepting. We can’t come straight out and talk about our day’s events because that would alienate some of our closest friends.

And yet, I have a favour to ask you all. Perhaps you know a friend that’s displaying interest in the lifestyle? Perhaps it’s a family member, a brother-in-law, a sister-in-law. A co-worker. Neighbour – whoever the case may be, May I ask a favour of you? To run this site by them, put in a good word, an honest word like

“Well, it’s shite but maybe it’s for you

OR

“Yeah, I dig it. It’s helpful”

The reason I ask is this: See, folks, my mission with this blog is to reach all sorts of age groups and help you all on your journey as best I can using the knowledge I’ve gained in my own journey. My hunger to help those in need is never satisfied. I just want to help more and more. Reach as many people as I can. Let them judge if I can help you or not. Think of me as a BDSM counsellor. 24/7. That’s my dream anyway, to help where I can in any way.

I was afraid to explore topics like that, to voice what I thought was dark and disturbing but you know what? It’s you and its healthy and its beautiful. So maybe I can do this for more. Because I don’t think I can stop helping. It’s not always enough.

But I know how it is to speak in hushed tones, to keep it private. To not have a wide net of friends in the lifestyle. So I understand. But if you think I am worthy of the attention of others and you can see someone struggling, I hope you point them in my direction because I’ll keep doing my best to help. And I don’t know if I can switch that off.