Navigating The Master / Slave Dynamic


Within the Dominant and submissive personality lies what has been established as the Master / slave aspect, which we will explore today with the help of some texts I’ll include at the end of this for you all to check out.
The relationship between a Master and slave differs from that of a typical D/s relationship, in that a Master has ultimate authority over a slave, through a 24/7 dynamic that consists of a Total Power Exchange (TPE) between sub to Dom. 

                    THE BDSM CONTRACT
It’s interesting to note that the TPE and dynamic is meticulously discussed before such an exchange occurs. 

This is where the term BDSM contract comes into play, as Dom and sub create the contract and discuss the limits, methods, scene play, appearance of sub, protocols, etiquette specific to the Master and so forth. 

Let’s take a look at some information a contract might include, as quoted in an example from Phil G’s Master / Slave BDSM Contract:

“2. When in private, I will always call Him “Master” or “Sir”.

3. Unless not allowed to by my Master, in public I will put my hand around his arm to show we are a couple. Master may instead want us to hold hands.

4. I may not leave a conversation on the Internet or on the phone between myself and my Master without explaining what I need to do first and getting permission from my Master to leave.  This is not the case if I’m cut off by the phone or Internet connection.”

Note that these are examples. Such information would be written out for the slave to read and work through with the Dom regarding his or her own wants and needs. 
I will add that though it’s a contract to be read and signed by the submissive / slave, it’s never legally binding. Rather, the submissive / slave reserves the right to refuse, as after all, it’s a contract built on mutual respect and consent. If things go south, they would not be trapped in an unhappy environment. 
It’s important to work together and communicate through the contract. Communication is key, especially as the contract involves every possible aspect of the slave, from protocol to grooming. Be honest with each other and yourselves.

                         SLAVE TRAINING
When I introduced my partner to the world of BDSM, we negotiated with each other a trial of training so that she could feel comfortable in case she made a mistake during her etiquette training. A time of one month was negotiated for us to work together and learn and grow and see what works and what doesn’t. 

In the world of M/s, Slave training is this to an extent but differs in that it’s specific to the individual unique contract and to the couple and their personal interests.
To the couple, I would say – before training of any kind begins, a length of time for the duration of the training needs to be established so that both parties are well aware of boundaries for themselves and for each other.
In this time, be gentle when it comes to failure. This is a point of time to learn – about yourself, about each other, about what works. Everyone everywhere once upon a time failed. It’s through failure we learn to pick ourselves up and keep trying. So: go easy on yourself. You won’t learn everything overnight. It’s a complex world but you CAN do it. 
Address failure through communication. Assess where the fault occurred. Then assess how to approach the activity again. Repetition is key to success, right? 
                       LEARN THE FOUR P’s

This is a little something I found with regards to a submissive learning his / her way with their Master. Since its relatively easy to break down, I’m including it here.
Principal – the Dom’s General ethical values
Protocol – The Dom’s rules that govern behaviour, physical and psychological.
Preferences – the personal likes and dislikes of the Dominant.
Perception – Be mindful of your place, your environment and the situation, for both your Master and yourself.
This of course can apply to the Master with regards to the slave as well but since TPE will come into play, I’ve addressed the slave.

                EXTRA THINGS TO CONSIDER

THE NUMBER ONE KEY DETAIL: Just because there is a TPE in play does not mean the slave is of less importance. Equality should always be there. ALWAYS. 
Remember both roles need each other. What’s a slave without a master? What’s a master without a slave? They rely on each other, it’s as simple and straight forward as that.
Don’t lose sight of yourself. You may be under contract but allow room for your personality to exist. Allow for growth and learning. That’s important. It’s what make you unique. It’s why you’d be sought after by a Master. Individuality, personality – that psychological aspect – the self, who you are – that’s sexy as fuck. Be yourself. Don’t let your fire fade.

                       FURTHER READING

1. Master / slave BDSM Contract by Phil G.

The BDSM Contract

The BDSM contract is a document in which the Dominant and submissive negotiate the details of their D/s relationship and sexual activity.
Yes, they exist. Fifty Shades of Grey wasn’t lying to you when Christian pulled it out for Ana, though I would not recommend following his rapey way of getting her to sign it. The dude’s a sociopath. But I digress.

36a0cc00-9a98-0132-a2c1-0e6808eb79bf-1

As you can see from this example that I pulled – the contract is thoroughly detailed, so that it covers not only the basics but anything that may play havoc on the submissive’s mind. The power of writing is that when someone sits down to write up something – anything – they are left to exercise their mind as they put thought down on paper. So a contract is unique in this way. Given the quality of the questionnaire, the submissive might be challenged in ways he or she didn’t realise. Or they just might appreciate that the contract is going to lengths to cover every base.

Filling out the questionnaire can be an exciting time for the couple, perhaps even arousing. It’s a tantalising time because it can build the anticipation but it’s also important because it establishes safety and boundaries that will be important going forward into the relationship.

966d1d60-9a98-0132-a2c0-0e6808eb79bf

My pet and I? Our contract was verbal. When I claimed her for the first time, I undressed her and basically asked her questions that were similar to the ones featured in these examples I have for you. For the next few months, we underwent training. For her and for myself, as I was new to being in a D/s relationship as well. I did my best to cover every base, make sure she was comfortable. Keep in mind, we knew each other was into BDSM before and before we entered into a relationship and a D/s relationship, we discussed our limits. The first few months we trained, mostly every night, definitely every weekend when we weren’t too busy. So, our contract was hands on and verbal. We spent hours talking together and establishing safety and boundaries.

But everyone’s different. Everyone has different methods. The contract, the physical contract, isn’t mandatory but would I recommend it? Again, it depends on the couple. A submissive might benefit from sitting down to fill it out. She might be confronted with information previously unknown to her. It might come up as she fills it out. For the Dominant, it is useful because you can understand your submissive better. On paper, she will be confronted to write but in person she might shrug and say “I don’t know” because she’s on the spot. The paper will give her time to think about her answer more carefully.

bce8b8c0-9a98-0132-a2c6-0e6808eb79bf

In the end, it’s all about preference. The contract can be an experience that binds you two together or perhaps a lengthy conversation could suffice.

For any questions, you can always reach me at my email address, which is located in the contact page of my blog.

Happy exploring!