Bigger Brother

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Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like being a bigger brother to people out there. I see people run with others on Fetlife and something in me stirs. Something in me wants to protect and embrace and be that bigger brother and I can’t shake it or explain it and I am not sure if I even want to question it.

It comes down to family. Who do you get along with, who wants that part of you in their friendship. It’s a complex series of equations that come down to one thing – friendship and how deep that friendship goes.

And it comes down to being a protector of a little one, or submissive.

And it comes down to bond. The bond that you might share.

Ultimately, that means getting out into the community and given my anxiety, I just don’t know about that. But I do you can’t just force it and that’s not what I ever want to do. So for now, it rests in the back of my mind as a delicious ‘maybe’ or a wonderful ‘possibly’.

But what is a ‘bigger brother’? In my eyes, a friend. A close friend. Someone that you can spill your heart too and who happens to mail. It’s a deep bond, playful but platonic. I can’t speak for the interpretations of others and I can’t speak to the relationship to others but for me, sometimes, I think about being part of a little group and that’s nice.

And that even fluctuates for me anyway. I’m the type of person to go from feeling like a sociable human to being a wolf that’s in a pack of two – him and his submissive. And on those days, nothing is finer than the company of my kitty – or, if we are sticking to the analogy, wolf cub. She fulfils me. End of story.

I  guess it comes down to this: wanting to protect people. Maybe that’s ego, maybe that’s madness, who knows. But sometimes I get feeling like I should be a bigger brother to some, which is quite different to switching to Daddy for my kitten. How the mind alternates! Are you following alright? Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know.

I don’t know if I will have all the answers but I do know that I just want to take care of people.

 

12 Days of BDSM Christmas – Day 8

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A ritual for my kitty and I is that when it comes time for her bedtime, I lay with her till she falls asleep or is ready to doze. I’m a night owl so I usually crawl into bed a few hours later because I’m either reading, gaming or writing. One of those.

What I wanted to share with you was this:

My kitty is a wondrous sexual creature. She really is. I watched her doze for a while – yes, it’s something I do. I have a sense to protect her and watch over her. Anyway, moving along. I was about to crawl out of the bed and go off to do my thing when she rolled on her back, kicking the sheet away and revealing her lovely breasts. I couldn’t help lowering my mouth on her nipples and suckling gently. Doing this, it gets me instantly hard and ready for her. But I was feeling more Daddy-like this evening so I didn’t jump her.

What struck me curious, and sorry darling, I know you’re reading this and you’ll get shy, bless you, but you’re extraordinary so come find my future self once you’re done reading this and kiss me. Understand? I want you to kiss me like it’s your last day on Earth.

Bur what struck me curious was that as I was suckling her nipple, she moaned and parted her legs. Even in sleep, she is an obedient and beautiful little girl. And THAT is what I wanted to share today.

 

My love for the ‘baby girls’

  
I love baby girls. I love little ones. Whatever definition you want to put to that adorable persona, I love that.

This one is hard to write because at the same time, there are an infinite number of submissives that are beautiful people and equally as intoxicating. But I guess, It seems to me – in my never ending quest to ‘find myself’ – that the submissive that I am drawn to is the little girl persona. Or maybe it’s just my mindset in this particular moment, I’m unsure.
Remember how I said I had an overwhelming need to help people in this field and more? Kind of like a BDSM therapist, to risk sounding conceited? Well the Daddy Dom in me gets that way at times – where I crave that persona – the girl to tuck into bed, read Alice in wonderland to and buy colouring books for. And if she eats all her vegetables, she will get a reward – my cock hovering over her tits as I praise her magnificent body.

It goes beyond sexuality and persona though. I am interested in her identity. Who is she? Where has she come from? Seeds have been planted for her to grow into something so sweet and I want to understand her. To me, that’s a big part of why I write as well on this site. It just makes me sit back and wonder and write long sprawling entries like these.

But, ugh, just look at the photo I have put in this entry. A topless girl with her favourite teddy, in her own skin and smiling. Gorgeous. I love it.

So I guess the concept sings to me because there’s a Dad in me that comes out every so often. And that is beautiful to me.