The Differing Views on Sexuality

 

IF you were to google, say, CowGirl Dominatrix, just look at some of the images you find – from photo shoots to drawings and 3D Renderings.

I did, myself, after wondering what that would really look like, or what people would think it really look like. Because – let’s face it, there’s no right or wrong answer. People adapt what they like, they shape it into something they like.

I was surprised to find a lot of steampunk influences in what a CowGirl Dominatrix would look like. Steampunk, for those unfamiliar, is a hybrid genre. It’s like taking a 19th century aesthetic but blending it with a futuristic setting. Which makes sense for the Dominatrix visuals I came across in my journey, much like these:

739012F9-4119-4FD8-9D37-CEDEC37BA737

But it’s not entirely what I, personally, had in mind. Which is fascinating to me, because it’s so different from what I’m finding on google – that and it’s says a lot about my tastes and views.

For example, my defining CowGirl Domme would not be dressed out in black attire seen in these images I posted. It’s more fascinating, more alluring for me to have this Domme hidden in plain sight.

3F07AD5A-79FD-471E-8EAD-BF69F0CE8D38.jpeg

I’m not really interested in the exaggerated sexed up CowGirl that revels in short frilly skirts and unbuttoned blouses. It’s strange, because as a writer, if I were writing a western themed piece of erotica, my Domme would be this normal next-door Jenny. Tends to her father, takes care of the farm. Whips the curious boy or girl in the barn once the sun goes down.

That’s interesting for me because I can explore daytime Jenny as well as free uninhabited Jenny. Something I strive for with the duality in my life, and something I love to teach to anyone that wants my mentoring.

And the most interesting thing here is that someone could come along and say I’M boring, and they prefer the looks above. Or that maybe the looks above are Jenny’s true form. Maybe that’s what she wears when the sun goes down. I don’t know.

I like Jenny, I’m already forming an idea of her. Kinda like a Disney Princess but one that’s been shifted on her head – she seeks adventure out of her daily life. She is getting the feeling she’s pretending to be someone she’s not. Maybe I need to write a series just to give Jenny a life and room to breathe. Characters tend to haunt me if I don’t.

People have different opinions on these natures of things. I love that. Because it’s fascinating to understand why, and after all, it just creates new stories to watch unfold. That’s always a beautiful thing.

Advertisements

The Liebster Award – 2017

Good evening!

During my 12 Days Of… 2017 run, I was nominated for The Liebster Award, which took me some time to grasp and digest.

Essentially, in someone else’s eyes – in this case, the lovely Scarlet A. Rhiannon who writes bravely for her blog Branded in Blood – you are worthy of praise, which is where the award comes in.

It operates as a chain mail in a way – I.E if you don’t pass this on in 5 minutes, the spooky ghost will steal your panties – except the interesting aspect here is that you become involved and engaged with the works of others.

SEE THE OFFICIAL LIEBSTER AWARD RULES BELOW but now to my nominations!

1. NaughtyNora – Domestic Discipline & Our Happy Marriage

2. MysticalKitty – Journaling my Surrender

3. Sasha Holden 1

4. Echnelis, Silently Sinful

5. MissAgathaArmstrong – Thoughts of Him

Congratulations, you lovely people!

And now for the Q/A…

1. How long have you been writing and how did you begin?

I have been writing as long as I can remember. If you were to pull out early teacher’s comments from when I was 8, you could see that they wrote that I focused less on school and more on imaginary worlds.

These imaginary worlds turned erotic once I hit my teens, but I do love to get lost in the genres of horror, fantasy and science fiction.

2. What is the thing you love most about D/s and the community?

I love that there is this unspoken element to people all around us. Teachers, students, grocery shoppers, workers, the people at the cafe. It could be anyone.

Beyond that, I love that it ties into psychology, into the subconscious, into the things we don’t talk about at parties. All these complex emotions and feelings we build with another complex soul, it’s beautiful and special.

3. If cream is to coffee what milk is to chocolate, _______ is to you as what is to tea?

Sugar. I don’t know, I don’t like tea.

4. What is your five year plan?

Oh gosh, now we are getting deeper! I guess it would be that old Vulcan proverb – live long and prosper. To not forget my dreams, my drives. And to wake up each day not taking my life and my loves for granted.

5. If you could have any job in the world, money and education no object, what would you choose?

Any job. In the world. Hm.

Probably a screenwriter. Or an author in general. To scare people with my stories. Maybe even be a counsellor on the side!

6. If you could right one “wrong” about the world we live in what would it be?

I would clean out people in politics, especially in Australia. I think there are plenty of middle aged people making old world decisions that are holding back society and the wellbeing of people. I would start by attempting to bring in progressive thinkers, young fresh minds. But what do I know? I’m some pleb!

7. If I asked you to murder one person, no consequences, would you? And if so, who would it be?

Nope. Even if it’s a barbaric and unforgivable person, I would leave that for the system. I have enough nightmares, why add that to my conscience.

8. What ruined your generation?

Something ruined my generation?! I have no idea. There’s good and bad in each generation but RUINED? I wouldn’t use such a term. Peace and love for all!

9. What is your biggest failure?

I’ve made a few short films that are pretty cringe. And there was that one crush of mine in high school that didn’t return my love letter with approval. Other than that, I have no idea. Failure is something I tend to want to learn from so I consider it insightful. I can’t think of anything in my current adult life.

10. What inspires you to blog?

What inspires me to blog? It is a concept. A concept that someone out there, pouring their heart into google, comes across my blog, takes the time to read my rambles and thinks – Hey. I’m not alone. And hopefully their mind lets them calm down a moment.

It’s what brings me back all the time.

ELEVEN RANDOM FACTS!

1. I’m left handed.

2. I’m currently wearing blue and white striped boxer shorts!

3. My favourite animal is a white tiger.

4. My features are dark hair and eyes, hence the title of my blog.

5. When I was 19 and single, I embarked on a passionate affair with a 26 year old lady.

6. I almost drowned when I was 8.

7. I can never finish one book at a time. I am currently hopping between books.

8. I once edged for six hours straight. No I was not blistered or sore afterwards.

9. I wrote a short film about the anxieties of having sex for the first time. It’s terrible to watch now.

10. I used to run naked through the forest. Now I’m in suburbia, I cant anymore.

11. My nose is itchy.

Questions for my Nominations!

1. What drives you to write your blog?

2. What was the last book you read? Did you like it? Did you not? Why, why not?

3. What are your hopes and dreams for 2018?

4. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself, what would you say?

5. What is the last thing that made you laugh?

6. What do you love about writing?

7. Do you write outside of your blog?

8. What’s a typical day in your life look like?

9. How are you today?

10. Tell me a joke

11. What do you have planned after writing this?

The Official Rules Of The Liebster Award

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog;

2. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.);

3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you;

4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself;

5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!);

6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer; OR

7. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.)

8. Once you have written and published it, you then have to inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

I Used To Want To Be A Nude Photographer


I used to want to get into nude photography. 
I wasn’t just interested in capturing the bare form of a man or woman though, that didn’t interest me as an artist. 

I wanted to make the piece as much about the setting as it was about her form. I wanted the piece to be as much about her trust to me, and my trust to her as it was about the setting.

I’ve always felt like a director, have always loved films and TV. The technical aspect of it has always enriched my mind and stimulated me mentally.

To that end, I could see myself capturing something other people think is mundane – a woman nude vacuuming. About to step in the shower. Hanging the washing.

I love nature, so I’d have to do a theme and set in nature as well. Maybe back home, where the grass is sun kissed and the forest is overgrown. 
Since I’m a fan of Halloween, a Halloween set would be fun. It could either be campy, like an old William Castle flick, or it could be atmospheric and offbeat.

I do have to stress that it wouldn’t be something as forward and conventional as a Hustler mag. I’d want to build around a concept – but more then that, I’d want something that means something to the model, rather then her purely being an instrument in the process.

As much as she might be my conduit for the art, I would want it to be a collaborative effort. A symbiotic relationship. Something she could be proud of just as much as I would be. 

Whatever we do, the possibilities are endless, really, as I’m always inspired to write or capture something in someway.

One For A Dream

After the children have gone down, 

And she can finally undress to herself, 

she sits topless by the window 

and stares into her reflection.
  

Teacher. Doctor. Lawyer.

Slave. Pet. Baby Girl.

Hiding and yet

In plain sight. 

The world sees her and yet

Doesn’t see her. 

Doesn’t know

What she has to give.

 

But each day she strives

And never falters 

To live

Not exist. 

Memoirs Of A Dominant

Next week I will be turning thirty.
And looking back on the last ten years of my life is a strange and beautiful thing.

I’ve had the gift of life given to me but also of laughter and love and yeah, even Dominance. 

When I was twenty, I didn’t know what I do now. 

You could say I was Dominant, but I was coarse and unrefined. 

I could dominate – and I did – but it wasn’t with any sort of awareness of the bigger picture. I was playing chess one square at a time rather than the whole board.

Unknowingly, I had formed D/s relationships but neither me nor the lady I was with knew that. All I knew was that I had gone from being a loner to suddenly an attractive man – well, in the eyes of others anyway. At 20 I was insecure with myself in a way that I’m not now. 

My twenties were spent outside of anything BDSM related. There were flickers of it: The degradation that came out in my teens also came out in the bedroom. But I didn’t know terms, dynamics, things I wanted. I was coarse and unrefined and in a strictly vanilla relationship. 

It was around the time of my mid-twenties when something inside me awoke. Suddenly I wanted to learn. 

I was afraid to learn – there were times in the middle of the night where I woke from a dream to an ache I had ignored due to some of that catholic guilt I was raised with coming out – but I still had that desire. 

My long-term girlfriend at the time was not interested in the slightest. Not even after me trying to introduce to her some things I wanted to try. We simply were not compatible, though we hung onto each other long anyway.
Her dismissal led me to blogs and sites and that’s where I discovered Fetlife. That’s where I discovered apps like Whisper.

Suddenly I was finding that education I was so scared about. I deleted and signed up to Fetlife numerous times before I created the profile that exists today. 

Through whisper, I met a bubbly young lady. She was eighteen. I was 26 at the time. 
Blonde hair, blue eyes, piercings over her face and nipples. 
I did not have an affair with her, if that’s what you’re thinking. As I write this now, I can see that this was the origin of my Daddy side. 

You see, she came from a broken home. She was constantly in a state of distress. And over the weeks, we would talk and I would help in any way I can – because…well, because she felt like a little sister to me. 

The universe is a strange thing. It brings people together, it pulls people apart. And I guess, in that time, the universe gave me someone to talk to who was just as much seeking answers as I was. 

We would talk about our interests, mainly though, we would talk shit. And it was pleasant. 

I don’t know where she is now, but looking back, I think that was instrumental in forging my Daddy side. My caring side. My nurture side. 

EVENTUALLY my long term relationship with my girlfriend fell apart. We stopped being friends, we hung out in different rooms after work. We simply weren’t compatible. 

At the time, I wanted to fight. I felt that was what I wanted to do – fight for her. But when she showed no interest in fighting back, I decided to drop my compulsion to fix things or solve things and just…let her go. 

In the months after, I sought to explore myself. I moved in with my parents for a while, Iogged back into Fetlife. I took nude selfies despite my lingering guilt post-relationship. I wrote songs too. Really on-the-nose songs, with titles like ‘Penultimate’ and ‘Signposts’. It was my way to heal.

Through Fetlife – through people, really – I learnt what I was once too scared to learn. I spoke to women I befriended. Some I was drawn to on a really primal level. They helped point out what I was feeling. 

I had plenty of fascinating conversations about minds and life just staying in the intimate space of my childhood bedroom. In a lot of ways I was doing a loop, folding over back into my childhood town. Adulthood is weird.

But I learned I was a primal. I learned I was a Daddy. I had a six hour edging session – and I’m not exaggerating to prove something, I spent the majority of that day in bed pushing my limits. I was done crying, I was going to edge damnit. 

So you see, life is strange. Why we don’t accept our minds and our sexuality is stranger. I could lament and wonder why it wasn’t sooner that I had this life affirming epiphany, but you can’t go back. Only forward. 

If you have any questions regarding this post, always feel free to write me at my email. I’m more than happy to help you with your own journey.  

The Primal Aspect in Me

Sometimes I feel like I could tear out the jugular of any man that hits on my lady. On what’s mine.

Sometimes there is a flash behind my eyes – and I can see an alternate reality where I have taken a baseball bat to the creeper’s grim grinning face. 

I’m not a violent man. I don’t like confrontations. I know this is just the primal aspect in me. The animal part that protects his property. But I have the thought all the same. 

And maybe that’s just a product of the human mind. Cats knead their favourite bedding material because of their ancestors, maybe my need to defend and protect my lady from discomfort is because of my ancestors and their violent ways. 

OR it’s just 2-32am and I’m thinking way too much into things. And I’m just a dastardly violent and handsome man. 

I told my kitten my thoughts on this and she smiled shyly. It was the smile that says ‘I can’t find the words to express my thoughts on that, so I’ll smile’. She’s always been that way, shy at expressing her desire and interest in me. I’m the same. My mother was terribly shy and I get it from her.

In the end, there is a freedom to learning the behavioural aspects of the primal mindset. There’s beauty there, raw and unfiltered. 
I have been researching and pursuing it since I started out in this lifestyle and am still learning.