On My Mental Health & Nudity

Getting naked and being naked was a part of my journey into becoming more at ease with my sexuality. It was another piece of the puzzle in learning how to hold on to that confidence for myself. It was about learning to rewire my thoughts so I can learn to overcome my insecurity.

I can’t really put my finger on why that it is. Maybe it was because I spent my childhood on acres of bush land and developed a primal way to living. Maybe it was because I was raised in a conservative catholic household and nudity carried with it a sense of exhilaration, of something I shouldn’t be doing but am getting away with – something I still feel and know that others still feel in their own exhibitionist explorations.

Nudity was more than that though. It allowed me to confront my own sexuality and my own thoughts on kink and BDSM. It felt like a scalding shower, like I was stripping away the bullshit and there was nothing left but my vulnerable mind, raw and reeling.

I know being comfortable with my nudity was a turning point for me. I took nude selfies on Fetlife, challenging my perceptions. It helped that randoms found these photos and responded to him positively – but I feel that the real hurdle was just putting them online, of taking that dangerous leap into the unknown. Because the unknown is terrifying when we stare back into it, until we start to inch forward day by day – or even take that plunge.

Nudity allowed me to be in touch with all sorts of animalistic thoughts, some born from the exhilaration buzzing through me, some bubbling to the surface. By stripping away my clothes, I felt this weird sense of being in communion with the world around me. I felt positively charged. I felt good about exploring my racing thoughts as I was naked because I learned to sit with them. Day by day, I sat with them for a few minutes in a hour. Then I did that again the next day.

I resisted it in the beginning, feeling guilty and gross and nauseated. I felt that I wanted to hide away. But in the end, long story short and after much resistance and baby steps, I pieced together how I felt, thereby confronting my own insecurities.

When a new dominant or submissive writes in to me and asks about the ways in which they can confront their own feelings, I often recommend a period of reflection in the nude. As a mentor, I’ve recommended what has worked for me. And sometimes it helps or feels worthwhile for the individual, sometimes it doesn’t work at all. Everyone is different.

For me, growing at ease with myself and learning how to own this insecurity within myself meant coming to terms with the shape of my body. There’s a lot of things connected to nudity for me – my animalism, my dominance, my comfort. It was all knitted together from childhood, left for me to examine years later.

These days, I still feel silly or shy, but these moments are fleeting. I know my mind now and diffusing negative thoughts has become a little easier.

3 thoughts on “On My Mental Health & Nudity

  1. I’ve always had issues taking full body nudes. I had insecurities. With chronic illness, it’s caused even more issues. It’s triggered anxiety and even impacted my physical appearance. The first time, I stripped for my Dom, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. There I was, completely naked. He had seen my face and body all the way down to my toes. I told him how I felt and that’s when he reassured me. He didn’t have a problem with my body and neither should I. He understood how chronic illness had impacted me. Every time I sent him nudes, I was a bit nervous that he didn’t like them. But he would tell me that he loves my body.

    Now, my mindset has changed a bit. I know that my Dom would not lie to me. I trust him completely even to possess nudes with my face. I get a bit excited when he tells me to strip. I get aroused knowing that I get to show him my naked body. Everyday, I have a bit of a routine. Each morning and night, I send him a photo/video of me naked. He is pleased with me.

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    1. There’s nothing worse than that complete loss of self and confidence. It’s so soul crushing. I suffer something similar from time to time with my own anxiety so hearing of your nervous breakdown hit really close to home. I had a moment like that and can still feel it in my bones.

      I’m very glad to hear that you have seen your worth though, and have found a soul that can help you realise that in your darker days. Thank you for writing in 🙂

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      1. I think a lot of my confidence issues stemmed from being bullied. I was bullied for being Asian. Then my ex emotionally/verbally abused me. He would say I was disgusting and ugly and that no other man would ever want to put up with me.

        My Dom tells me they were all lies to manipulate me. He says my ex didn’t want me to leave him for someone better because that would mean my ex would have to start paying for his own things.

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