Late Night Rambles: The Submissive Teaches…

I’ve been reflecting at this ungodly hour of 3am, about where I’ve come from and where I’m going. This has been sparked from a family discussion just the other day about the fluidity of love and life and how we perceive and accept that or choose to hide from it.

And it hit me – the greatest teachers, the priceless teachers when it comes to my journey as a dominant man, have been submissive women. Which kinda makes sense but I’ll get to that in a moment – I want to ask something of the submissive readers, men or women, at the end of this ramble so either keep reading or skim to the last paragraph or something.

The beginning of my journey into becoming the dominant I am today was largely done alone by me, that much is true. I read and and I did my homework – but the bulk of how I truly learned to be a dominant came from my interactions with submissive women – some who were my good friends before we discovered we shared an interest in kink, some I met through Fetlife and somehow made an impression.

When I look back, I can see key moments where something was revealed to me – a piece of my personality, say, or an error I made, or how a fellow primal opened my eyes to how I was articulating this desire I struggled to identify.

Oh I fell a lot. Like an overly green and keen guy, I jumped off the waterfall without learning how to break the water below to soften the fall. In turn my actions hurt. And it was through this falling that I began and learned how to communicate – and through that I understood where I went wrong.

And communicating was easier with a woman I found. Maybe it was the all lady household I grew up in but I never really resonated too well with guys. I preferred the company of women as a teen and that’s how my adult life has been too – I have a few close guy friends and probably more close lady friends. I don’t know – who counts?

But through talking, they helped guide me and in turn this shaped the person I became today, not only for my own benefit as a human being and – later I would find – when I began to mentor actively, but it benefited my relationship with my lady, who has taught me a thing or two about myself as well.

So to the submissive I say this: don’t doubt the power of your mind or your words on someone’s mind. You can guide with grace and strength just as equally as anyone, experience has taught me.

And here comes that last paragraph I mentioned earlier —– as a blog with a dominant focus, to the submissive – men or women – I ask you – what would you like me to write about from a dominant’s perspective? Is there something you were always curious about? Perhaps it’s something to do with dominant thinking, or behaviour? Is there a process you’ve been curious about?

I’m looking for new ideas. As a writer, I want to satisfy any curiosities. I know things will come to me, as they do, but I seek a submissive’s mind for this matter. A fresh perspective. By all means, pick my brain.

7 thoughts on “Late Night Rambles: The Submissive Teaches…

  1. I’ll start. 🙂
    Do all Dom/mes get to a point where they are comfortable so assume all is okay and slack off from being the Dom/me we subs are used to being?
    Meaning, how long does it take for Dom/mes to realize that if they start treating the relationship as a non-D/s (or whatever one you go by) relationship instead of the D/s one, we subs start acting out and start being non-subby and need them to get back on track? Does that make sense?
    And what do you do to get back on track?
    I have heard it happening and it happens between me and Daddy at times. I have seen it happen in me and not realized it until there starts being a problem or Daddy realizes it. I know a lot is communication.
    I am curious to get your opinion.
    KK xx


    1. Hi KK! Lovely to hear from you as always.

      I’m sorry it has happened to you – I know it can be jarring when it does, creating a certain emotional whiplash.

      I’m not sure if all Doms/Dommes get to a point where they feel comfortable to slack off but I know that the daily grind can lead to a distracted mind sometimes.

      Sometimes, with kitten and I – and I’ll probably write about this in a proper post – work will be so busy that I, personally, fall into a vanilla mindset you know? And that can leave the other out of mind.

      In my own experience, it’s not long before one of us notices it. Usually it comes to me in a gut feeling which leads to an open and frank conversation. From there we slowly ease back into it over the duration of a week, say, with an increase in playtime and other tasks.

      I hope this all makes sense. I’m running on little sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes of course. You say just as I was thinking. It happens and we (both D and s) have to communicate when we realize and make it right.
        Thank you so much!
        And get some sleep😉xx


      2. It should be I who thanks you, I will expand on it in a future post. It’s something that could go on if left unnoticed. And something that plays with my anxiety as well sometimes.

        Please hit me with some questions again should they cross your mind. Don’t worry about the length of responses!

        Much love to you and your Daddy!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am always curious on motivations behind actions. For instance, the reason why I like potatoes cooked a certain way is because my Mom was so cheerful about cooking them that way and there was so much love and kindness associated with it all. So, when I eat potatoes made that way (or make them) it takes me right into the memories and the feeling just warms my soul.

    I can extend that to other interactions, such as watching a man shave, kisses, certain types of touches, etc etc. Underneath the enjoyment of those things is a feeling, which might not exactly correlate, if you asked me!

    As you go along with your writing, if you ‘see’ a memory or feeling that links into your action, please share. Thank you.


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