The Guilt Behind Enjoying Dark Erotica: And Why It’s Okay To Talk About it

I have this ongoing relationship with my dark thoughts where I accept that they’re there and I own them, but their origin and reason for existing alludes me. Sometimes I catch myself mid thought and think ‘wait, you went there? Really?’

My readers have pulled me up on my darker stories before. Some have expressed their confusion on why they enjoyed a rape fantasy while my twisted takes on Disney princesses has polarised some enough to write in to discuss any themes at length. And any response (including response length) is welcome to me because good or bad, as long as you’re polite I’m happy to talk out philosophical differences with you. To discuss.

Some readers cannot though, which is why I’m here – this darker side of our minds is so different, so potent, so alien that it alienates the reader out of fear of being judged by the others that come to visit the same blog. They just can’t find the words because everything feels wrong. I’m there too, with my own stories. It’s a terrifying thing, this feeling that you might be THE ONE that scares others away.

What we need to understand is that there’s a difference between fantasy and reality. There’s a difference to the rules in the fantasy and the rules of reality – rules that govern your own life and the code of honour you live by.

When it comes to actively expressing these fantasies and bringing them to life, consent is there to form a new set of rules to keep peace of mind and safety. In this circumstance, as long as it’s discussed thoroughly and safety is paramount, living the fantasy should be – should feel – right.

But when it comes to looking at a fantasy and thinking about why it turns us on and how, it’s important to remember that enjoying something so decadent and devilish doesn’t change who you are outside the realm of fantasy, because we know that if we’d act out these fantasies, we’d have safety and protocol.

It doesn’t change how you feel about your marriage or your kids if you like a story about a poor pretty little thing being chased through the forest — because this is a seperate fantastical space for you to explore. You enjoy this feeling, this hunt, this setting, and there is no shame in embracing this as another aspect of your mind no matter the background.

Believe me, I’ve been there before. I’ve wondered about my sanity, about what my life and morals mean if I love to write rape fantasies. The answer is – I like it for the fantasy, I like it for how the fantasy feels to me in this context only. I don’t find an actual act of rape arousing at all. I’m not violent in any way. There’s just a thrill to explore something so dark and violent in a safe environment.

So please, The next time you find yourself battling a similar reaction to erotica that’s challenging, either on my blog or otherwise, remember its not a reflection on who you are as a person. It doesn’t make you broken or wrong or sick. You are a healthy person bravely exploring a part of your mind that others wouldn’t even dream to.

And if you ever find the need to talk to me about a story of mine that’s so dark and compelling to you, I don’t care how long winded and messy it is, I would love to hear it.

Be gentle on yourself – and always practice safety with each other.

7 thoughts on “The Guilt Behind Enjoying Dark Erotica: And Why It’s Okay To Talk About it

  1. What do you mean by the descriptor of dark? What some call dark, others call a passing bit of shade on a sunny afternoon.

    For me, it is never what I enjoy but why. What is underneath the words, what is the feeling (or need), what is it simmering below the surface? And can I admit it, let the words that are stuffed deep down come up for air?

    Our fantasies are fuel by something. I like to know which combustible is powering mine.

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    1. When I say dark erotica, I mean aspects like rape fantasies, forced submission, teenagers being anally raped by demonic trees, really weird stuff that I normally write here.

      I have this discussion A LOT with people because most see it as a beautiful part of themselves – and it is, don’t get me wrong – but for me, I found my thoughts quite violent in nature and when I started off writing this blog, it shook a few people. So I guess it’s the word that some use to label their thoughts.

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      1. To add on a thought that was in my head but not on my fingertips right then: the words and stories are not what cause me alarm. It is the images.

        Oh goodness. When I go on Tumblr alone and see some things which excite people, I’m 1000% baffled. To each his/her own but ummm…whoa.

        I have read a few stories that were visceral and pierced my mind but the images take a lot longer to erase.

        But that is how the subconscious mind learns, thru imagery.

        Some things are frightening to me, others sickening, some are sad. Some revolt me, to see human trussed up and treated like animals in a barnyard, for instance.

        I am not sure what those images truly mean to to presenters. I have not asked.
        I just will assume that if a pic is a thousand words, they have said a mouthful.

        ‘Shook’ was a good descriptor for my state.
        I’m pleased I was fully grown and not naive about the depths of human desires when I began encountering those images.

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      2. I am surprised you have not asked people about these images. I suppose that is the extent to which you are shook right? But I am under the impression that you are a curious mind, like me.

        A human in a barnyard is kinda sexy though.

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