Clawing To Get Out: Realising My True Primal Self

I was a late bloomer to realising I was a primal. When I was 26, I befriended a lovely Canadian woman from Fetlife who talked to me about the ways of packs and who helped me realise I wasn’t so alone in the universe.

When I reconnected with a lovely lady who would go on to be my kitten and best friend and other piece of my soul puzzle, we realised together the full extents of our primality. Is that a word? I’m making that a word. Writing degree be damned!

The timing of these events take place shortly after I stared at my true self through the Magic Mirror Gate and came to terms with my psyche. My experience at the gate would lead me on to help my kitten understand some things about herself. And the more she spoke timidly of cages and collars and leashes, the more I realised how interested in this dynamic I really was.

Kitten made me realise just how deep into the primal dynamic I was, but she also brought out in me the other part of being primal – animalistic traits.

One evening during a special moment, she licked me, claiming she felt compelled to do so. I was taken aback. No one had never done that to me and it felt charming and special and lovely. I felt unique to her.

I tried it myself on her – gingerly, I might add – and sure enough, it has become a deep form of affection for the both of us. It doesn’t always happen but when it does, I feel that same giddy surge of love and excitement, knowing I’ve been marked.

I guess what I’m getting at is that being in contact with my kitten and her primal self has brought me out of my shell in a way. I have kept the knowledge of myself from the experience at the Mirror Gate and have allowed myself to be helped my her lovely mind in order to grow.

Licking and growling and biting is part of my existence now. In and out of the bedroom.

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