Have I become the overbearing Father Figure?

You know the one. The one that continually expresses concern, long after the person says, perhaps with an eye roll, ‘Dad, I’m fine’.

Maybe, in the absence of not having children, my mind, the part that is biologically ready to break out into fatherhood, was just assimilated by my Daddy Dominant state of mind.

If you’re wondering if I’ve gone mad, you’re probably not wrong. But the psychological state of affairs when it comes to BDSM and the relationship it has with my mind will fascinate me endlessly.

If I had to analyse right here right now, I would say my personality, the one that got the rug pulled out from under him in regards to how people can deceive or manipulate, the one that developed an anxiety disorder, now lays everything out on the table with people. I’m honest because I expect that in return. How they respond is their choice – but me? I want to be pure. I don’t want deceit or manipulation or fear.

And the older I get, and the more confident or used to who I am and my place in the world, my personality has kind of matured into this Father Figure. And BECAUSE of what I experienced through friendship and relationships, I’m overbearing in my caring.

It happens with my lady – I’ll send her to bed if I notice her eyes falling out of her head. It happens to my friend, when I ask if she’s happy where she is in life. And it happens to people who write in sometimes, where I try to create as safe a place as possible for them to feel at ease if they want to ask what they feel is a silly question. 

Not everybody wants to chat in a prolonged state, sure. But more often then not, I can sense when there’s a sentence on the tip of someone’s tongue and they either don’t want to burden me – this stranger – or they feel – well, pick one. Silly. Strange. Ashamed. Pathetic.

So now I try to combat that, albeit gently, by creating a safe space to each and every one. And if that’s annoying, I’ll take the blame of being this overbearing, slightly strict father figure or Daddy Dominant.

Just know I’m aware of this aspect and ease it when I sense it! After all, who wants a lame Dad?

4 thoughts on “Have I become the overbearing Father Figure?

  1. You don’t sound overbearing, you sound concerned and caring. Those who are overbearing criticize destructively; they are domineering and rude. If you were overbearing you wouldn’t be a safe person with which to share vulnerabilities. You sound fair and firm, like you give thoughtful helpful advice. You care about the people to whom you are speaking. You aren’t doing this to hear yourself speak or for your own importance. You truly seem to want to help people and to be a force of good.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Being caring and accepting is important. Overbearing means controlling, you don’t seem controlling (in a non-BDSM way I mean…abusive control not kinky control). Accepting others is just letting people speak their mind without getting upset with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Not able to sleep worrying about the last words I guess. So I see there was a reason to worry. You see “that older you get” thing you speak of just makes those special people and safe places so much more special because you find out they are so few and far between. Thank you for the demand.

    Like

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