For a while I have wanted to talk about Dom Drop but I never knew how to word myself, or it itself, and so I filed the idea away in the back of my mind, in a little safe room.
I feel like talking about it now.
Dom Drop is this sensation of feeling flat, after either a scene you’ve played out, or an act that you lost yourself in or any other situation you’ve gone deeply into.
‘Feeling Flat’ is kind of an umbrella term though, isn’t it?
Underneath the umbrella, Dom Drop is this sensation of restlessness, depression, guilt, fear and a complete disinterest in all things Dominance and BDSM.
It can last for a few hours after a scene. It can last for a day. A week. Two weeks. It depends on the individual.
For me, it can vary between the time frames I’ve listed above. And it can come about as quickly as flicking on a light switch.
It’s tricky to define Dom Drop, because it weaves in and out of other aspects of your mind seamlessly.
For example, I’m not always so sure of myself. If my lady wants to be rough, I hesitate. Is that my lack of confidence or is the guilt associated with Dom Drop worming it’s way into my brain? it’s hard to say. We’re complex creatures.
Other times, I don’t want to be Sir. I just want to be this average joe. Let’s just cuddle in bed, or watch Netflix together and laugh at bad horror movies. I just don’t want that control right now.
But keep in mind, I suffer anxiety and depression. Disassociation is part of the package. It comes back to the worming of different threads in your mind. Which is which? Maybe it’s a mix?
Whatever it is, its kind of like a crash. Like a caffeine crash or sugar crash. Kinda like how you deflate at the end of a long work day. And you’re in this funk you can’t get out of.
It’s easy to lose yourself in the moments of Dom Drop. It’s easy to think things like ‘Well maybe I’m not fit for this life’ or ‘What’s wrong with me?’. The mind is trickier than we realise. And we can forget how powerful it can be in convincing you what is real.
My advice to those feeling restless and perplexed is to wait. Give it time, all the while thinking that things can and will turn around. Because the more distance you get from the initial moment, the more the fog will clear and you’ll get your appetite back.
And when you get your appetite back, you’ll see there is nothing wrong with your mind, that you’re not a fool, or going crazy. That everything is going to be okay.