The Mind is Always Evolving

I don’t think there will ever be a time where I’ll stop growing and evolving. Where I will reach the limit of my growth and can say ‘well, I’m definitely into all of these things and kinks, there’s nothing else’.
Though that’s sometimes frustrating, especially when someone asks ‘well, what do you identify as?’ And I have to stumble on my words to say I’m a mix of things, it’s also a thing of beauty. Because there will always be something brand new to discover. 
For example, there’s a huge part of me that identifies with the 19th century gentleman and this unspoken undercurrent of Dominance and submission. Jane Eyre, apart from being a terrific read in general, was deeply erotic for me. 
And I identify with this gentleman because a big part that I’m drawn to is regulation. Polite wording like ‘Pardon me’ instead of ‘huh?’, standing up straight – etiquette like that – it speaks to me.
And there’s so many different nuances to something like that. Chin up, beck straight, hands to the side, hands behind your back, ask for permission to go out with your girlfriends, all these different things that branch off to different concepts and regulations and ways in which the relationship can evolve or adapt.
But then aside from this strict gentleman, or the 1950’s household hybrid of that gentleman, there are the other aspects of my personality that I’ve discovered along the way, the Daddy and the Master.
The Daddy aspect has always been with me, I think, since my early twenties. And as I got older and more at ease with myself, it has been more prominent and refined. I’m sure if I co wrote a blog with my lady, she could vouch for times it comes out – say, if she’s snacking before dinner and I tell her not to, she can hear it in my voice. Or if she’s ill but staying up late. Of if I want to read to her or be by her side when she colours. 
Recently, I’ve felt a different side bubble to the surface that bears similar traits to a Master. This crosses over with the 19th century gentleman, as the concept of setting rules and regulations in a M/s environment with many different concepts also at play intrigues me. But it’s also not quite the dynamic that fits my current relationship, as my kitten and I sit somewhere between the M/s and Daddy / LG concepts. 
It’s weird to explain because the mind shifts at any given moment and borrows traits from established roles. So it’s a mix.
And as such, I think I will always be finding out new things about my mind. Maybe I’ll change. Maybe this relationship will change. The How’s and the Why’s can be pondered all night, and this thought is lengthy enough. 
Bottom line is that I’m always growing and learning and finding new ways to live and play and explore and that’s beautiful. 
How about you, stranger? Are you a mix?


19 thoughts on “The Mind is Always Evolving

  1. I can relate to that and think that HisLordship also has different aspect to his Dominance as do I in terms of my submission. It is an interesting thought.


    1. I’m glad I am not alone. Sometimes I think what comes out of my mind is drivel and not worth a post.

      But moving on. I don’t think anyone should limit themselves to one trait. We are capable of many things, many thoughts and many ideals.


      1. I totally agree and that is a problem that I sometimes have with definitions as they can make people feel like there is a ‘right way’ and can lead to comparisons and feeling like you don’t quite fit therefore something is wrong. Relationships are as different as the people within them and to think that one size will fit all is as narrow as assuming that you will never outgrow that particular shoe.


  2. I totally agree. I think that often definitions are unhelpful as they force you into a box that you may not quite fit and lead to comparisons as you search for the ‘right way’ to do it. Relationships are as different as the people within them so to think one size will fit all, or that you will never outgrow that particular shoe, seems crazy to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My Missy beat me to it, although that’s not unusual!
    I can relate on a number of levels to your post, in fact I may have to express that in a post if my own now that you’ve sparked something!
    Being labelled as a Dom often conjures up imagines of men in erotic fantasy novels, and whilst I’m grateful for the confusion over imagery, that’s where the similarity ends. I feel that I am many things, often struggling to get out due to the complexities of it. I too like order, rules, standards and tradition. ‘Hislordship’ came from such thoughts and feeling. You’re certainly not alone, as I have yet to meet Dom who is not a multi layered and still evolving.


  4. It appears that Missy beat me to it, which isn’t unusual!
    Your post certain struck a note with me, to such an extent that I may have to write something on the topic!
    The commercial image of a Dom found in so many erotic stories portrays a dark suited man with private income. Whilst I have no issue being associated with such an interesting character, it really is far from the truth!
    I identified with a lot of what you said; I too like order, standards, rules and tradition. ‘Hislordship’ came from an attempt to capture an era when etiquette was all important. There be some who see that as old fashioned, however, I know a lot of Doms who support that ideology and are as multi-layered and evolving as you and I.


  5. I am finding that I’m a mix of submissive/slave and little. I want the Daddy Master – the old time Gentleman who demands a “Pardon me?” rather than a “Huh?” (Though, to be honest, I do resort more to huh than pardon me.) It fits well with my idea of how things should be – the 1950’s lifestyle, the “old west” as we in the US fantasize it was or the SteamPunk era. It seems to me some of these Victorian principles would fit very nicely into my future dynamic. At least on my end.

    But this is just a long winded way of saying – I’m glad I’m not alone in the “I’m a mix of things” category.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny you mention Steam Punk. I find that look particularly alluring, as well as the old west. Makes me wonder why I haven’t written a piece in either genre actually.

      Your post wasn’t long winded at all. I welcome any discussion.


      1. And Rockabilly…did I mention that? This post made me want to drive to my storage unit and get my corsets. I miss them so. Soon, I will have them back…my pretties… *ahem* Sorry. I mean… where were we? Oh yes, SteamPunk – I like the Clockwork style of SteamPunk, myself. I really need to find some clothing at reasonable prices that will work for that.


      2. Corsets are a lovely piece of design – and even better eye candy. So it fits when you consider it on a lady because hey, art.

        I’d be genuinely interested in hearing about your corsets if you ever do get them out of storage. And I mean that in the least creepy way possible. *shrugs* I like it when my kitten goes shopping, I can look at the different styles and appreciate the craft and look.


      3. I didn’t take it to be creepy. I was doing waist training for a bit, then life happened. I’d love to get back to that. When I do, I’ll be happy to let you know how it’s going 🙂


  6. I find I’m am ever evolving mix as well. Im also drawn in by 18th century & early 19th century craftsmanship & scenery. I cannot watch the “perfect drug ” video by Nine Inch Nails without being overwhelmingly heated. It’s the backdrop, clothes & hair that does it the most. & also earthy essential oils get me where i cannot control my breath. I don’t like it if others can see that it’s affecting my breathing as i don’t like exposing my weaknesses.


  7. Yes it is definitely worth exploring. The essential oil thing happened to me when I was typing it. I was sitting at Starbucks after my interview, reading your blog with simultaneous academic/naughty intentions & thoughts, when I was overcome by a woodsy, earthy patchouli, frankincense & myrrh fragrance that entered the room. It entered the room but no one New had entered the room. It surprised me because I had been there for a little bit already & it was all guys sitting around me no girls. No one was paying attention to me they were all on their laptops but had they been they would have noticed me trying to maintain composure. The moment those scents hit my nose my breathing increased & intensified to the point my hand grasped the window as I tried to calm myself down & get my breathing under control. Then my breath got slower & the rhythm of that heated me back up. Needless to say I pounded my coffee & left because it was not the place nor time to be overtaken like that in public.


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