But from time to time, my mind thinks of the cool and goes off on a tangent.
I think of a task. A sadistic one. A strange one. A task that could fail, but one won’t know until they try.
I have a strange relationship with pain. Giving and receiving.
I’ve meditated on the healing powers of it and pondered experimental usage of it. I’ve even flirted with it in the past.
And so I close my eyes. And think of a cool night such as this. I think of my submissive on her knees, her eyes close, her nipples harder than ever. How could one push the limits. Not only of myself, but of my sub’s limits – how she deals with cold, how she might control cold – the mind is a powerful tool. Would it be sensual? Or a failure?
Would it be an exercise in control? A meditation in a chilly temperature? I am uncertain.
And yet, I’m experimental. I push. I’m intrigued. I feel like Dr. Jekyll – trying to be good with bad impulses. But he keeps going on. And eventually he succumbs. I don’t know.
What I do know is that I like to push the limits. I like the idea of harnessing control, of meditation. Of pleasure through psychological torture.