When I was younger, I used to be paranoid about high my sex drive was. Even after my hormonal spurt, well into my twenties, I was thinking a lot about the sexual nature of things.
I’d be at a cafe, observing people like some sort of alien, not for anything sexual, just because people in general fascinate me, but then I’d think about the type of things people would be interested in sexually. Is that tired looking mum into BDSM? What kind of things does she enjoy sexually? Are her and her hubby really enjoying themselves, how do they communicate sexually? Is that man happy with his wife or does he spend his free time wanking to another male over cam? Are these people shaven, trimmed, what, brain, what?!
This all ties into my overactive imagination. But I used to worry that it was all wrong, that I was perverted or addicted or one of those alarming big words – SEXUAL ADDICTION!
In my later years, and since being with my kitten, I don’t think like that as much. It’s not so much about sex that I think of when I look at people, but more about their happiness. I think this is partly because I came from a destructive relationship and I worry about anyone in that state, even if it isn’t my business or problem.
And beyond thinking about their happiness, I do occasionally think about the sex lives of others. I can’t help it. It’s the pervert in me but it’s not a personal thing, like I am not honing in on a particular aspect and jerking off in my mind’s eye, I am more curious as to how people behave and why they behave the way they do.
I still worry about my hypersexual nature. It comes and goes and comes and goes. Usually I take it out on my kitten, sometimes myself, if kitten is tired or unavailable, sometimes I just write.
My blog is – think of it like a bottle of wine, with the cork standing between reality and fantasy. Sometimes I let the bottle air out a bit, revealing my darkest desires to you, the reader, and sometimes I seal it before it spreads like wildfire and I’m just some transformed beast constantly fucking out my innermost desires.
In summary, if you have a hyper sexual nature, it’s not a bad thing. I think you’ll find it’s more human nature than addiction. More curiosity than impulse.
As always, if you are frustrated about it and need to vent any anxieties, feel free to reach me at email@example.com, so in the dark light of the morning, I can tell you that it’s all perfectly natural and you aren’t the only one sometimes worrying. I do it too.