Ladies and Gentleman,
I have been sitting here for the past twenty minutes trying to put into words what it means for me to write.
Writing has been with me since I was a kid. And has evolved throughout the ages. I write a mix of genres – drama and horror and fantasy mainly – but starting this blog has seen me dive into the world of erotica. I learnt something about myself. I feel at home in the darkness, I feel the need to hone my craft, to write a compelling story, to entertain or shock.
My uni course – creative writing – I applied for that five times until the university relented.
When I was unemployed and job networks told me I couldn’t get a job in writing, that I just needed to apply for the job that they provided me with, I refused because I stubbornly believed in my dream.
And you know what? YOU are my dream.
To be honest with you ladies and gents, I don’t think highly of myself. I’m too critical on my writing or my life. And you – the kind stranger – believe in me, which is why, in my darkest moods, I’ve decided to keep the blog and keep writing.
Why did I do Patreon? What right do I have to ask for money? My dream job was always to work as a freelance writer and I – perhaps stubbornly – thought I could attempt to live the dream – to write for the audience that has been so kind to me, and who enjoy my work. I just had to try. You guys and my writing mean the world to me.
Even if it’s $1 a month that you pledge, that’s still $1 that will go towards my rent or my dream. It all adds up in the end and I would be eternally grateful.
Even If a handful of people, say 5, put in $1-5 each, I could work for you all from my home, in a space comforting my anxiety, on a time that suits you guys. For stories or insight into the craft or any commission. I could sit down in my study with my battered MacBook Pro and I’d be right where I feel I belong. Fulfilling my dream and giving you the greatest thing I could ever give
In the mean time, I try not to be dissuaded. Maybe dreams are dreams, maybe I’m living in the clouds as a joker. Will I Persue my dream until it kills me? Maybe. But you don’t know how far you can go until you try.
So I keep writing. For my kitten, my best friend, my world. For my readers, who do their part to keep the light within me alive. For myself, because creating world’s and characters and settings is like a drug I can’t quit. I need it, and need me.
Why do I write? For her? For you? For me? What if I’m garbage? What if your responses are facades when you just spam likes without regard?
I write because I cannot stop. Because if I didn’t, I would never learn how to get better. Because it’s therapeutic. Because I believe it’s the one good thing about me, God’s gift to me, and I have to see if the world appreciates it or whether I’m crazy.
Because we get one life and if I never started this blog, if I never tried my hand at Patreon to see if the world deemed me talented enough to pass on their hard earned cash for my stories, to support me, I would leave this world lonely and empty and dead inside.
Because it’s a part of me, twisting and turning within me. My soul.
That’s why I write. That’s why I can’t stop trying or learning or helping you all. That’s why I started my Patreon and why I continue to mention it.
I simply cannot, will not stop. Ever. Even if it kills me.
Want me to write you a story? Want more thrilling and twisted erotica? Want to help me achieve my dream? Every dollar counts!
View my Patreon here!