I’m a Dominant AND an Introvert (The Dominant’s Growl #9)

New year, more Q/A’s! As always, if there’s a question you’ve been dying to ask, either email me or comment below and I’ll answer directly or in another little Q/A post. No question is too weird!

Now, for the questions!

There is a common belief that all dominants are extroverts and all submissives are introverts.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? Is your submissive an introvert or extrovert?

I am an introvert. If you encounter me at a party, you’ll find me sitting amongst the group of friends silent. I hear every bit of conversation but speak only when spoken to or when I have something to say.

I’m not a big crowd guy. I prefer a handful of close friends and so far Kitten is the only one I can really be around for more than 24 hours before I need my space and/or feel drained.

Kitten, on the other hand, is an extrovert. She is bubbly and outgoing and certainly expressive. She is better at social circles then I am and though she struggles a bit with larger crowds, it’s a testament to her strength that she still manages to fire on all cylinders to be outgoing.


Do you feel your extroversion or introversion has been either empowering on your journey as a dominant or a hindrance you have had to overcome?

That I also struggle with an anxiety disorder probably works to make the introverted nature a hindrance. But I believe I push back when the situation calls for it. For example when someone tries to take control from me in any order, purposefully or not, something tends to come out in me.

Do you think this affects the way you interact with your sub or the way your sub receives/accepts your direction?

No, I think we are quite good in understand each other. I tend to be more outgoing when I am around my submissive, even when I come up with a task her and I can talk about. We have known each other for such a long time that there is no cause for worry in my mind. Outside of the usual bouts or spikes of anxiety of course.

Do you think being either an extrovert or introvert has better enabled you to empower your submissive in their D/s journey?

Maybe she has seen me come to terms with it and that gives her strength, but that is me assuming what she thought. I think at the end of the day, the introverted nature is separate to how we interact because I feel safer with her and more at ease in our dynamic. We are a lot like each other in many respects so it’s quite easy for me to approach her and give her strength through our play or exercises together.

Did this change how you negotiated the rules or contract you and your partner created?


No. We added what we both wanted openly and honestly. That was never an issue with my nature because our interests were the same so it was easy for us to take that information to the next level.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s