I write now to both the Dominant and submissive’s of the world that happen across my blog from where they sit.
Approaching BDSM and discovering this new side of yourself can be daunting. Especially when you look around and see nothing but people who have been learning for years and you’ve got nothing on them.
The truth is, they’ve all started somewhere and now it’s your time. Don’t focus on their story, focus on what yours is. What interests you? What do you want? What creeps into your mind as you fall asleep at night? What are you really scared of?
If you find yourself here and wondering what to do next with the information you’ve found, I’ll tell you.
The answer is: Find a quiet place, be still and pay attention to what your mind says to you. Resisting is kind of in our system. That fight or flight response? Yeah it’s a pain but it’s part of our make up. Resist it.
The best advice I can give, just between you and me, is not shy away from what you feel. That leads to anger and pain and sorrow.
Yes, approaching these topics and finding out your kinks can be terrifying. I know I thought about people finding out, about whether I was a freak or insane, but the truth is that you’re absolutely not. The truth is that people like you are all around. They walk among you.
Do you have a favourite place you like to sit? Go there. A favourite sound? Play it on your phone. If you panic, regulate your breathing till it’s calm. If you feel up to it, research your interests in the lifestyle. It’s how any of us ever learn. You’ll be okay. I promise.
I used to sit on the outside of this world, wondering where I fit in. There were all these terms, primal, Daddy, – dynamics I couldn’t grasp. And day by day, I just challenged myself.
I must’ve cancelled my Fet account five times before I decided, you know what, I’m going to try. I’m gunna join a group, post a nude, I’m going to break out of this funk.
You don’t have to do THAT but what I want you to do is not hide anymore. You have a scary thought? Stare it down. Challenge it’s logic. You owe it to yourself! Because you know what, you’ll overcome that and be all the stronger for it.
This is who you are. People will accept you and love you for it. You’re here on my blog, I’m telling you this, that’s one out of many examples to come in your journey. Don’t let up.