30 Days of Dominance – Day 6: The Root of My Dominance

What do you feel are the roots of your Dominance? Do you think it has something to do with childhood, upbringing or parental example? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else? 
I’ve often wondered this for hours, when the night comes and I’m left alone in the lounge room to be the night owl I am.

Is this my individuality, born out of the encounters across my lifetime, or is it something in the link passed down from my parents?
When I have to be firm with my kitten, when she wants to be a brat, I can hear my dad come out in a tone or an expression, but I just don’t know. My parents LOOK vanilla, they are conservative Catholics that would balk at the things I say or do, but then who can really say?
I often wonder this about my enjoyment of horror films and games and novels as well. Where did it come from? Why? Why is it that when I write, my stories are predominately about savagery? Surely my parents couldn’t behave like that? How could they? They feel so harmless.
So if it’s my mind, where did that come from? I was bullied as a teen and in primary school. Does that account for a sinister side, some rage deep down that is filtered through the acts of BDSM to be playful and harmless? (For clarification, no I would never be physically or emotionally abusive. I’ll ask kitten as I type and type her exact response: ‘No, because I trust you to honour the safe word and know my limits.”)
I’ll admit to there being a sexual thrill, I think we all can. But I think it goes deeper than that, because I love to nurture and I love that I’m protecting her. And not just her, I feel protective, in an embarrassing way, of her friends. I feel like I could shield these people, hold them and protect them. I’ll never go out and say that of course, because that sounds rapey as fuck. But there’s always a mental side of me wanting to protect. 
I guess I don’t really know what to think. Maybe it’s a combination? It’s probably just going to be another mystery of life. 

4 thoughts on “30 Days of Dominance – Day 6: The Root of My Dominance

  1. I was looking forward to seeing responses to this question! Since there are none, I will say that the majority of the guys I’ve quizzed on this topic have said they have always had the mind-set and then it just took a subtle nudge. Do you suppose it’s more difficult for a submissive to answer this question? (It certainly is for me…)


    1. Was my response similar to the others? I’m just hoping I stand out 😛 I don’t know if it’s more difficult for a submissive. I think it’s just as hard for everyone to find the root to their soul.


  2. For me I find that one of the things I come back to over and over, when I asked myself a question like this, is that it’s the only type of love I can handle. Which might sound strange and I don’t think that’s the only reason behind it all, but I think it explains it a little. (Btw I’m a sub, not a dom)


    1. I don’t think that sounds strange at all. It’s a complex discussion because it lies in the root of our humanity, which is subjective to the individual.

      Welcome to the blog! I hope to see you around 🙂


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