An A-Z of BDSM Terms

Here’s a collection of BDSM terms hand picked by me for newcomers to the lifestyle. Remember, if you have any questions, feel free to comment at my email (which you can find in the About Me section) or on the comments below! I’ll answer directly or in a future Q/A prompt post!
A:

Animal Play: role play in which the submissive takes on the persona of an animal (cat, puppy, pony) under the watchful eye of their Dominant.
Aftercare: After an extreme session involving all senses, in which the participants calm down as they ooze out of the scene and back into reality. 
B:

Birching: “Striking with single birch rods or bundles of birch twigs. Often causes minor scratches and is considered a mild form of blood play”

C:

Collar: To be given to the submissive from a Dominant, a symbolism of ownership. Wear with pride.
CBT: Cock and Ball Torture.

D:

Discipline: The practice of training one to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience.

E:

Erotic Embarrassment: When a submissive is ‘forced’ to dress or speak in public in ways that are generally frowned upon in society. 
Exhibitionism: Taking delight in attracting attention to one’s self, particularly involving taboo subject matter. 

F:

Family: A group of three or more individuals in a relationship, in a structure that’s fluid and fitting to their tastes, eg. ‘Sister’, ‘Daddy’.
Forced Orgasm: An orgasm forced against the will of an individual, despite their pleas. Heh.

G:

Gag: An item covering the individual’s mouth to silence their cries.
Gorean: Related to the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the fantasy/adventure novels by John Norman. Gorean culture is based on stereotypical gender roles, a rigid hierarchy, and an emphasis on ritual. Some common Gorean terms are defined in this Glossary, some of which are used only in online environments: kajir, kajiri, kajirae, kajirus, kajiri, kolar, kef.

Golden shower: To be urinated on by another person.
H:

Hard Limit: That one thing a person would absolutely not, under any circumstances, do.
Humiliation: See: Erotic Embarrassment. Desired by some submissive’s and considered pleasurably and psychologically entertaining by some Dominants.

I: 

Impact Play: Striking a person with various objects including but limited to the hand, cane, etc.

J

Japanese Bondage: Any of a number of styles of rope bondage in which the emphasis is on artistic display rather than simple utility.

K:

Knife Play: The use of knives in a scene. Often for the psychological effect, without actually drawing blood; but sometimes used to cut as well.

L:

little or little boy/girl: One who takes the role of a submissive child in age play. Does not tie into Incest or pedophilia.
M:

Munch: A get-together for local’s in the lifestyle, usually at a more relaxed, non play pace. 

N:

Nipple Clamps: Delightful little devices to clamp down on nipples for the added effect of pain and torture.

O:

Over-The-Knee: A spanking of an individual bent over your knee, eg. “If you behave like that again, I’ll bend you over my knee, pull your dress down and spank you hard”

P:

Permission: Nearly all power exchange relationships require the submissive to ask permission for certain things. Common examples: To leave the Dominant’s presence, to go to the bathroom, to eat or drink, to have an orgasm.
Primal: “Primal play in the kink context as getting to a place where the masks civilization can fall away and to allow acting on urges and impulses more directly.”

Q:

Quirt: A type of whip with two or (occasionally) three short lashes affixed to a long, thin handle.
R: 

Ring gag: A type of gag consisting of a metal ring, often padded with leather, which is placed in the mouth in such a way as to hold the mouth open. A strap secures it in place.
S:

Safeword, safe word, safety word, safe signal: A predesignated word or nonverbal cue used to stop or slow down a BDSM scene.

T:

toy: One who is treated and used, not like a person but like a toy; sex toy, play toy, dog toy, fuck toy.

U:

Under Consideration:
Consideration is when the person receiving/having power is still considering or deciding whether to accept the lesser-power partner to a closer, more important, or more responsible (etc.) position or relationship: slave, 24/7 or collaring are common.

V:

Vanilla: 1. Person who is not in the BDSM/fetish lifestyle. 2. Anything not involving kinky activities (example: “…my vanilla job”). 3. Behavior which does not encompass kink activity (for example: a D/s couple may have “vanilla” sex).

W:

wax play: The top drips hot wax on the bottom. 

   Z:

zoophilia: Sexual arousal from viewing or interacting with animals; may not involve actual genital contact or intercourse with the animal. (bestiality)

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