Day 3 – How do you know you are a Dominant or have the potential to be Dominant? How do you feel when you express your Dominance?
When I first started being Dominant, I didn’t have a name for it. I just was this way in the bedroom. And as I went on into my twenties, I realised that wasn’t enough.
This is where I learnt that I was Dominant. Because I wanted this control beyond being sexual, because I wanted to dress her, collar her, degrade, humiliate, nurture. But I couldn’t. I was in a purely vanilla relationship heading on the path of pure normalcy.
I know I am Dominant because when I couldn’t fulfil these desires, I became anxious. I became pent up, aggressive, depressed. I actually changed as a person. I became moody and quick to temper.
And I knew I was Dominant because when that relationship fell through and I had time to reflect and to experience my Dominance through the newly found Fetlife, which I’m still part of in a minor capacity if you wonder, it clicked. It was more than just needing release, it was something larger than that.
And when I expressed this all to my now girlfriend (kitten), then my friend of eight or so years, I realised the desires I had to do all these was real. Was more important than I realised.
So how do I feel when Dominant? Alive, primal, animalistic, on fire, electrified, highly sensitive, sexual, sensual, intense. I feel like things are right. I feel like I made right choices to be here, with her. Sometimes I wonder how I got to this point, where I was out of my long term vanilla relationship and into this beautiful spot because It’s surreal and maddening and a dream.