If you’re thinking of quitting, don’t.

Don’t. It’s that simple.

Now, I am well aware that I don’t know every unique and individual situation – hell, maybe this isn’t what you’re looking for and an exit is the thing for you. I could argue that you should still hang around, embrace your local community or find what triggered a change in you. 
No, I want to talk to the people that are scared and have just signed up to the lifestyle. Or Fet. 
To those people, I would say: Be courageous. But be patient. It must feel like you can’t get into it. It might feel like you’re a freak and no one can understand you. It feels like everything is wrong. These waves usually come with exploring your kinks for the first time. That fear and shame is natural, you hear? A natural response from the body in its attempt to find flight or fight.
Running from all that, from Fet, only serves to make your feelings grow. It’s a step backwards and can only lead to desires lashing out in an unhealthy environment. It leads to denial and self hate.
I know this because I was once there, I once deleted my Fet account again. And again. Because nothing felt right. It didn’t feel right.
And it only started to feel right when I accepted that this was me. All of this was my life. It’s who I am. And what I want. And I needed immediately to get comfortable with that or it would eat at me.
Don’t let it eat at you too. Embrace your self because that is gorgeous and wonderful and exciting and sexy as fuck. Be kind to one another.
If you need anything, I’m here to chat. Never hesitate to message me.

17 thoughts on “If you’re thinking of quitting, don’t.”

  1. I so agree with this.
    When I first joined Fet I found it really difficult. It really doesn’t work until you have built up a list of a few friends with similar interests.
    I eventually found my way by asking someone I knew here on WordPress to friend me on Fet.
    I now have some great contacts on there, several I know in person, and have been invited to some wonderful events.
    So yes, I agree, persevere. If you are following a blogger here, ask them to reach out to you on Fet.
    I have learnt and grown so much, found acceptance and real friendship.

    Ash

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  2. Maybe Fet is different for men than it is for women. idk. My experiences on there were quite terrible. At the very beginning, I met someone nice, but he also quit because of terrible experiences. I recently signed up for Collarspace and found the environment to be very similar, but I have been conversing with an interesting Dom relatively near me.

    Even so, thank you for posting this. Sometimes my search for kink gets overwhelming.

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    1. I would’ve thought it’d be easier for ladies, although coming with a burden of being harassed. But that’s just my own mind playing tricks surely.

      Truth be told, I found it hard to connect on Fet. I find it hard to break into groups or to meet people. Even for socialising groups, people don’t reply to my threads, which dissuades me.

      Which is why I wrote this piece, because I know it’s my anxiety playing tricks on me and no one else should have to feel like giving up.

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      1. Well said. The harassment is what chased me away. There seemed to be only “play” Doms who want to smack a girl around but nothing else. I experienced a couple 😦

        I feel very much the same way when trying to find my way into a new group. It takes a lot of effort and the return is little unless you really persist – as you did! ❤

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      2. I’m sorry you were chased away. For every false Dom, there was a nice interesting character. You should rejoin and persevere, kinda like what I’m doing.

        I still haven’t figured out how to break through.

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      3. That’s so odd! Because, from this angle, it looks like you’ve totally broken through!! Good luck and much love. XOXOX

        I’ll hit you up if I go back to Fet. ❤

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      4. I have made a few friends to be sure and have also Mentored a couple of closer friends. But groups and such leave me kind of cold. A coldness that I do my best to ignore and push through because it’s most likely on my end.

        You should definitely come back though. We can help each other push through! Do ittttt! Do it now!

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  3. You are always so open about struggling with Anxiety. It’s an ugly monster. I often delete comments, and just decided to say nothing because of it. I know this digress’ the plot here, forgive me. This was well written, as always, a inspiration.

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      3. nearly everything, not quiet there yet. I’m one of those people that believe we come in contact with everyone for a reason. I also, like you, enjoy learning about others minds. Studying people, learning what makes them tick. Your writing captivated me, it’s not often that happens.

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      4. Well I’m honoured! Truly! I always love to hear that my writing touches someone, during erotica or otherwise. If you ever want to write in, don’t hesitate. The door is always open. Just beware once you cross the threshold

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