Should BDSM be taught in Sex Ed. in High Schools?

My kitten brought this article to my attention:
https://m.mic.com/articles/151964/should-we-teach-teens-about-bdsm-in-sex-ed?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=ever&utm_campaign=CMfacebook#.pyXW0IMrI
If someone were to ask me if BDSM should be taught in Sex Ed in High School, I would answer yes. Absolutely yes.
Here’s why: Because there’s a good chance students are struggling with feeling isolated or alienated because they don’t understand. 
Because it will guide students between right and wrong ways of Dominance and submission.
Because it can teach students about connection and safety.
I’m not saying to go in depth, with prac and such. Lord no! But health and safety is priority and as such, an exercise in BDSM could very well be what the student requires. It could be something cleansing in the area for mental health. 
Now it’s easy for me to say that. I don’t have children. I don’t plan on it. I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be a parent. Maybe the idea of a teacher teaching that is strange. But sex ed is already sort of strange and there should or would be a study plan drawn up so its kept educational and not harmful or uncomfortable. 
I’ve been in a position where I’ve had the opportunity to respond to questions from teenagers who have read my blog. It’s satisfying in that it helps me with the sense of sadness that I feel for those out there that need help but are afraid to come and seek help. To those people, I would say to come forward. To me or to anyone you feel you can trust. Because there is no shame. That is absolute, for anything. Anything. 
Off my high horse now, navigating teenage life and all its turmoil is tough. Navigating those feelings, like you’re a freak, like what you want is wrong, is terrifying. I will tell you as an adult, doing all sorts of kink still hits my system of a tonne of bricks. Like I need to feel guilty for being an animal. Primal. Who I fucking am.
So to me, a unit in sex ed. would help combat these feelings. It could help with stress, mental health, isolation, insecurity, the whole she bang of self hatred. 
It’ll probably never happen because people might rally against and use all sorts of ill informed malarkey about it. But the thing those people need to take away from this is that it could combat mental health. 
Until then, I’m like some BDSM vigilante in the night*. Helping those in need. Appearing in open windows and fuelling your dreams with the darkness that comes from my mind. Making you wonder if the thing that challenges you, frightens you, might very well turn you on.
Until then, I’m happy to do my best to help those who want it, need it. It’s why I started this blog. It’s why I started my Kik.
*= I’m joking, in case you think I’m being self important. 

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6 thoughts on “Should BDSM be taught in Sex Ed. in High Schools?

  1. I don’t know about this it is hard enough as an adult to understand these feelings let alone a child. If it can be done properly then yes . I think as an adult there should be more education on BDSM

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  2. I actually teach sex ed in a high school but we don’t have a unit on bdsm. We don’t have specific units on any lifestyle in particular. We focus more on good decision making, safety, consent, the law, and particularly in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. Pupils who are struggling with their sexuality would be encouraged to talk about it on a more individual basis so that we can give them the information they need in a non-judgmental way and in a setting where they can ask relevant questions away from their peers as this can often be an issue. With the release of fsog, I did get some questions about the lifestyle, which I was hapoy to answer. We will always answer questions that come from the pupils but don’t promote any particular type of relationship over another. The easy access to porn means that pupils are much more aware of different sorts of relationships than they used to be and so we are asked about things that didn’t used to be discussed openly. We are not teaching them to have sex, but are educating them about sexual health and relationships. Discussion tends to be very open but we also have to be sensitive to the fact that just because they are all the same age does not mean that they will all be aware, or interested, in the same sort of things.

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  3. Thanks for posting, DnD, and thanks to Missy for teaching sex ed. As a parent to a small child and a member of the community, this is something I think about a lot.
    I can’t say I am as enthusiastic about teaching BDSM in high school for a few reasons. The first is that, unlike Missy’s lucky students, most kids aren’t getting any fact-based information about sex AT ALL. They are lucky if their parents have even one conversation about reproduction and protection. So lets just say, before we get into the dicy and nuanced land of power exchange that we need to supply kids with the basics first.

    And what I mean about “basics” is really filing down the brass tacks of consent. I don’t think we need to break out the whips and ropes to illustrate this to our kids, as the article suggests, but that we borrow the vocabulary, i.e. “yes means yes,” “negotiate down not up”, and “consent withdrawal”. Most boys do not understand what that any of that means and we have a culture that competes with draconian third world countries when it comes to rape and assault stats. In short, we have a lot of unraveling to do before we get to the next level.

    I’d also just like to address development as a really critical component when it comes to sex in general. I’m of the conservative opinion that the driving age should be 18, simply because the decision-making brain isn’t ready for spur-of-the-moment choices yet. I think the more mature conversation about BDSM is better suited to college, where concepts like controlled pain, and sexual abuse triggers are within reach.

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    1. Excellent points there, miss. Thanks for sharing. I must’ve missed the notion about whips and such, that’s a bit…hmm…yeah I don’t think that’s relevant. What you raise, about consent and the basics, is what should be promoted and raised. Maybe with a bit of an advanced studies with college 😛

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    2. This is what we use for getting across the point about consent. http://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/crime-prevention/keeping-safe/consent-is-everything.htm
      We are in Scotland and I think from speaking to friends in the US that sex ed can vary more from school to school, and state to state, over there. Here they are pretty well educated in it. We have the responsibility for that as support from home can vary. The focus is definitley around safe sex, consent and healthy relationships.

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