What does it mean to be Dominant?
Being Dominant, to me, means to live with this insatiable desire to take control – of a scenario, of a submissive. It means to crave something deeper on a psychological level, on a raw level. A human connection, bonded by a unique level of trust, a love for kink and a desire to explore what makes us human. What makes us tick.
You see, it’s craving control of a submissive – but that means so many things. I crave to guide, to teach, to be a dad, to see her dress how I want, to fuck how I want, to care for her in my way. It means being a teacher, a lover, a friend, a father and soul mate.
It’s not just about a love for spanking, degradation, nipple clamps and bondage. It’s about the desire to know the submissive in a way that no one has ever known before. Think about what means for a moment – to explore what makes her human, what makes her a submissive, what makes her WANT.
It’s about reaching deep down within her psyche, finding what that means or how that feels, and absorbing her. Every part of her mind, body and spirit.
It’s about taking all of that and protecting it, like a knight, one that, in my case, definitely has chinks from my battles with my demons.
And just so I’m clear, it’s not about seeing a submissive purely as an object. Not for me. I want to express, in my eyes, that the lifestyle comes with a romanticism there. Not only the desire to protect her but the desire to know her beyond any capacity she or I have experienced. I have great affection for the basic notion that is worshipping her, guiding her, protecting her and to fulfil her through my Dominant personality.
It’s not about being an alpha. I’m not an alpha, I don’t feel like an alpha. To society, I’m you’re quiet guy, guarded and silent. I don’t dominate conversations, I don’t lead at work. I lead her. By the leash, by the collar.
I don’t want a regular relationship, I want the deeper feelings, the raw and intense encounters, the exposure for me and her that comes with that trust.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that what being dominant means for me is to explore my humanity. To explore why I am the way I am, but also to live with the lifestyle, almost in a symbiotic relationship, because it needs me and I need it. Without it, I’m edgy. I’m lost, I’m angry and depressed. With it, I have balance. Harmony.