The Dominant’s Growl #8


A few months ago I started a Q/A post so anyone that wanted to ask questions, whether it be philosophical, musings or in the heat of the moment, can do so.

Now that I have a few new followers that might not be knowledgable on my customs or what have you, I thought I’d present the opportunity to ask me questions either through email or in the comments and I’ll respond in the next entry!
For now, here’s some questions for this week’s:

What are your basic philosophies in regard to D/s?

I think both the dominant and submissive need to be open to communication and to trust, but more importantly I think they both need to be open to change. A D/s relationship should challenge your beliefs and perceptions and together, you should find the universe like you’ve seen before. 
But to come down from my romantic mind, caution should be exercised as well, for there can be dangers present in both personalities, and dangers present in elements explored. 
A false dominant could teach a new submissive an unhealthy outlook whereas an unhealthy submissive could lead herself down negative paths. 

Sensitivity is key when exploring. No matter the topic. Always be aware of the idea that trial and error can come at a moment and that we are human. 
How much time are you willing to devote to training a new sub, and how much of her time would you require in return. Would you have daily contact with your submissive/slave?
I usually train for a month, possibly longer, just to familiarise my submissive with my practices to see how she responds and if she responds positively. Also, perhaps there’s something she makes me see that excites me and engages my mind. Maybe she can teach me. 
I’m a 24/7 man. I can’t help it. Having ownership of her, every part of her, every waking hour is both intensely erotic and satisfying on a deeper level. I crave it and without it, I’m all sorts of manic or edgy. So if a submissive wanted to choose me, it would be based on whether or not she is a 24/7 pet herself. Whether or not she wants to submit every detail of herself and her life for me. And I’m talking everything, every action, every item of clothing, every choice she makes, how she dresses, where she goes – everything. 
So yes, daily contact is a must. A definite. A holy-God-I-can’t-breathe-unless-I-know-she’s-wearing-those-cute-black-lacy-panties-that-ride-up-her-pale-ass feeling that vibrates within.
So, ladies and gents, anything and everything you want to ask is acceptable. There’s no taboo too sacred, no act too weird, no thought too vulgar – challenge me. I dare you. Take your best shot. I’ll be waiting. 

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13 thoughts on “The Dominant’s Growl #8

    1. Well it’s a truth worth learning! There’s a great feeling that comes with being chosen, knowing that you’re the bloke she wants to challenge herself with. There should be no greater honour. You also didn’t submit a question so no gold star for you. Although that is your choice.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Is romance a factor that comes into play with your relationship? As a Dominant, what kind of romantic gestures do you find appealing?

    I know this may be personal, but as a person who loves giving and receiving romantic gestures, I was kinda worried that the romantic aspect of me would kinda have to be reserved in a D/s relationship..
    Thank you so much for your time! =D

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    1. Its not too personal 🙂 And an excellent question! Everything is acceptable, remember? so go nuts.

      I’ll add to this answer in the next entry but I wanted to add to this now: Romance definitely comes into play in my relationship. We are still, essentially, ourselves in a D/s relationship but I think the thing that changes is that we accept our roles and regulations.

      My kitty and I are quite romantic, from flowers to each other, to little notes before work. It’s part of our identity and something to cherish.

      These affections, of course, take shape in D/s. I remember kitty cleaning my shoes because she wanted to, or showering with the door open – a big thing for her! And something uniquely romantic to us.

      So Sara, I would say to you to hang on to hoot identity and keep loving, miss. It’s who you are and that kind of action shapes your submissive identity as well. So don’t worry.

      However. If it gets too scary, remember that you need to be yourself because staying true to yourself is sexy as hell. And people will notice that, okay? Speaking for myself, I think a submissive that wants to hold onto romance is cute and just beautiful so by all means, live by my example 😛

      Don’t thank me for my time, thank yourself for writing in! Remember — I’m here if you need to discuss romance in a D/s relationship at length! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Whew. I can’t tell you how relived I am to hear that. One of the main things I love about relationships in general, not just D/s, is that I love cheesy romance. Its just… BDSM isn’t exactly all about candlelight dinners and sweet loving… and I like that its not. Hell, I love it. But I still want to have candlelight dinners and red roses and lots of cuddling and flirty texts and being a tease (cue evil laugh) and.. well, its a long list. Just minus the vanilla side of the spectrum… ahem… bed. That just isn’t for me.
    And then I get thinking… is it even possible to have ALL of this in a relationship? Past experience tells me NO, fudge, the world seems to scream ” HEYLL NAW”, but the optimist in me won’t stop dreaming. I’m stubborn that way.
    Maybe I’m not cut out for a 24/7 D/s realtionship, maybe I am, but then again, nothing is really certain in life. Besides death. Thats the one thing I know for sure- I’m gonna die someday. Maybe I’ll die in my sleep tonight, maybe I wont live to type another word. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to plan ahead for tomorrow and think which key I’m going to hit next. …

    Would you look at that. I just went out on a tangent 😂
    Anyway, I really needta hit the hay.

    Umm… Goodnight from my side of the planet/universe/earth 😃

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    1. I think in any 24/7 D/s relationship there needs to be balance between our vanilla selves and our other counterparts.

      For example, some days my kitten and I are heavily into our counterparts, with her adopting her leash and collar around the house. A typical 24/7 day for us would be dressing her, giving her tasks to complete, telling her to take photos for me, whatever the case may be. She addresses me and we are acknowledging our roles. There’s a power there.

      But sometimes, we just want to be regular people. And by that I mean ourselves. Yes, we are ourselves when addressing and issuing orders but sometimes it’s nice to take a step back if one of us is having a bad day or is anxious or sick or whatever.

      I think what you’re thinking of is possible definitely. Because we do that. She teases me, even though she knows it might risk my darker side coming out, I buy her flowers. It’s all possible, Sara.

      I certainly hope you don’t die in your sleep. You seem like you’re on the beginning of your journey and that’s the best part – finding out what clicks. I want to be there every step for that journey 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m new to following your blog, and I don’t know if this question has already been asked, if so I apologize…but what behaviors should a submissive look for when trying to weed out these “so-called Doms”?

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    1. Don’t apologise! I write a lot so it’s hard to follow everything. There is a piece I wrote called The False Dominant I believe but I’m not just going to reference that to you and call it a day.

      I think one of the things that you might notice first up is a lack of patience. This person might try and rush getting to know you, he might start giving tasks or calling you pet names before you two even know each other properly.

      I’ve always said that a Dominant that is interested in you seriously will stay to talk to you about everything. Miss Fouetté, think now about your secrets, about your desires, fears, things you’ve never told anyone. A true Dominant will want to absorb all about you, while a false one will skim past these details to get to what I’m sure is your lovely naked self.

      So I’d say to look for someone well spoken, someone that wants to take the time to get to know you inside and out. Someone curious about you. A false dominant will give little care to his appearance, words through text and will try to speed up interactions with you because to him or her, the chase is the best thing out there and once that begins in his mind, he will try frantically to let it out.

      Always remember through your travels that you have to give permission to Dominants to boss you around. You have to give them access. Without you, they are powerless and can’t dominate anything. Remember that.

      If you need to discuss anything else, maybe it’s too private, my email is open. I’m here.

      Like

  4. Hehe, no worries. I’m alive! Only now, in retrospect, my tangent makes me feel like digging a hole and burying my head in it =D

    I really needed to hear this. It is soooo nice to know that I’m not the only sub out there that has bad days. I don’t know, but everyone I’ve talked to so far seems so Barbie-doll perfect, that I kinda got the sense that they never had a bad day in their lives. And I guess I got a bit put off because everyone else seems so perfect, and set into their roles, that its kinda daunting when your new to the scene and not perfect… just thinking of being perfect feels really stifling and suffocating… and not in a good way.

    That last bit made me smile, it was very reassuring, thank you. =)
    Is there any way I can contact for future questions? Preferably through e-mail, if thats alright with you…

    Like

    1. No body is ever perfect, everybody has their own imperfections – that’s just how it is.

      The thing to remember is its customisable to everyone, how you live your life and relationship. And I’m sure someone – if they care enough – will agree with your customs.

      As for my email, it is darkanddominant@hotmail.com

      And anybody can feel free to message me whenever 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. How do you feel about when your dominant wants to bring in another girl. I’m ok with it but he seems very preoccupied with her. He wants to fuck her alone first also.

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    1. That, to me, is a red flag. I wouldn’t agree to that because you’re not part of the process. You should at least be there in some way, watching or teasing her – IF you agree to this play in the first place.

      Right now it just sounds like he’s trying to get the glory of fucking another girl.

      Like

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