Bigger Brother

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Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like being a bigger brother to people out there. I see people run with others on Fetlife and something in me stirs. Something in me wants to protect and embrace and be that bigger brother and I can’t shake it or explain it and I am not sure if I even want to question it.

It comes down to family. Who do you get along with, who wants that part of you in their friendship. It’s a complex series of equations that come down to one thing – friendship and how deep that friendship goes.

And it comes down to being a protector of a little one, or submissive.

And it comes down to bond. The bond that you might share.

Ultimately, that means getting out into the community and given my anxiety, I just don’t know about that. But I do you can’t just force it and that’s not what I ever want to do. So for now, it rests in the back of my mind as a delicious ‘maybe’ or a wonderful ‘possibly’.

But what is a ‘bigger brother’? In my eyes, a friend. A close friend. Someone that you can spill your heart too and who happens to mail. It’s a deep bond, playful but platonic. I can’t speak for the interpretations of others and I can’t speak to the relationship to others but for me, sometimes, I think about being part of a little group and that’s nice.

And that even fluctuates for me anyway. I’m the type of person to go from feeling like a sociable human to being a wolf that’s in a pack of two – him and his submissive. And on those days, nothing is finer than the company of my kitty – or, if we are sticking to the analogy, wolf cub. She fulfils me. End of story.

I  guess it comes down to this: wanting to protect people. Maybe that’s ego, maybe that’s madness, who knows. But sometimes I get feeling like I should be a bigger brother to some, which is quite different to switching to Daddy for my kitten. How the mind alternates! Are you following alright? Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know.

I don’t know if I will have all the answers but I do know that I just want to take care of people.

 

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6 thoughts on “Bigger Brother

  1. My best friends in life, both onscreen and off are Daddy or Daddi types. I have platonic relationships with many Dominants, and they are always a supreme comfort to me because of their protective nature and concern for my well-being. They never hesitate to call bullshit, to remind me to be cautious, take things slowly, be discriminating… this is because they have seen me fall prey to manipulators and narcissists, and had a hell of a time holding me together during these relationships and putting my pieces back together afterwards.

    Big brothers and sisters? Absolutely. Except there’s almost always an underlying sexual tension, even if it a line that is never explicitly crossed.

    I think this drive means you’re a beautiful human and an amazing Daddy to your kitten. It looks good one you no matter what you call it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you! That’s a very sweet thing to say. It’s strange to feel ever caring, especially when my anxiety works overtime to convince me I’m being a weirdo! I’m glad you’ve got a lovely network of people, that’s most important! I’m also glad you’re one of my readers 🙂

      Like

  2. Anxiety is a bitch. I know… it’s been a constant companion to me since I can remember. You’re not a weirdo… and hell, the ways that you *are* weird are completely accepted and adored by this crazy bunch of folks who like the things we like. I think you’re exactly who you’re supposed to be and your inclinations are perfectly suited to your talents.

    Incidentally, I believe you were my first follower, so you’ve been with me through all my poop, even if most of it is deleted now. I am grateful for your presence. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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