Random Friend Requests on Fetlife (And Why It Can Bother Me)


Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s how I roll but I don’t like random people adding me without so much as a message saying “Hello” or at the very least “This is why I want to add you..” To me, it’s just polite to throw someone a message and get to know them before you get to know their insides.

You would’t walk up to a person in real life and be like “Hey, I think we should be friends – you look like someone I’d like to be around” so what makes it acceptable on the internet with social media?

I get it if you’re a ‘performer’ of sorts. I’ve had people on Fet add me and they have 4,000+ friends and are asking if we can all donate to paypal. That’s fair enough, that’s their job. Whatever. But if you’re not, I don’t understand. If it’s a loneliness situation, I feel that but maybe talk to me? I’m more than happy to talk back.

And this is the thing. I am more than happy to connect with anyone over Fet. Providing we know each other a little and get along, either really well, or just on a little level. Although, between you and me, I like to go all out and know people really well.

Collecting friends like baseball cards isn’t what I am interested in. I mean, is it a situation where we’re all just looking at nudes of each other and getting that fix OR are we looking at nudes of these people we’ve connected with — and there’s that special sort of universe established where we can swap tips and humorous stories, I don’t know.

If anyone from WordPress wanted to ask after my fetlife, I would say – sure. Email me and I’ll pass along my username. But send me a message so we can talk and get to know each other one on one so we can see if we get along and such.

But, that’s just me.



10 thoughts on “Random Friend Requests on Fetlife (And Why It Can Bother Me)

  1. I agree completely. When I first joined FetLife I was contacted by a few locals who smelled fresh meat. I changed my location to Antarctica, which successfully stopped that. But then I joined a couple of local groups and events. A local guy, who I’ve had no contact with whatsoever, recently friended me, so I revised my profile to say I wouldn’t accept friend requests from people I hadn’t communicated with. I figured he might take the hint and start a conversation. Instead he just cancelled the friend request! That’s OK too – it shows that he was paying at least a little attention and respected my wishes. But I still don’t know why he wanted to connect with me!


  2. I get those even though my Fet profile states clearly that I will not accept friend requests from Doms without approval by MY Dom. Got one yesterday! I don’t want to be friends with someone who can’t bother to even read my about section. I agree about the courtesy of an introduction message. If I don’t know you, best you send me a reason for becoming buddies!!! AND THEN there are the genitalia pics! Ugh. Cesspool.


      1. It makes me feel dirty. I’m all for connecting with my blog friends on fet without intros if I know it’s them, but random dick pics are not compelling enough to get me to accept a friend request.


  3. Thanks to you dark, I had my first exposure to fet. Hummm, I am still not sure. I can tell you that I do not think there will ever be a nude pic of me there or anywhere for that matter. I did get an attitude from someone I was drawn to for not having a picture yet on a 2 day old account. I was not sure what to put up at first so I waited. Then I said screw it and put up a picture of my pup. By the way Sir, if you would be interested in connecting on fet maybe add your info in the next e-mail?


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