Your Weight Shouldn’t Determine Your Appeal



So I was reading on another site and came across a post in which a newcomer submissive asked how fit did she need to be in order to be accepted by a potential master.


Now…This should go without saying but it’s important that you – new coming submissive’s – don’t feel like you’re being intimidated or judged too harshly when being considered. Because any man or woman that wants to judge you like that is missing the point and, more importantly, missing the bigger picture.

You see, there is no guideline for how fit you have to be. Nada. Zilch. Zip. None whatsoever.
It comes down to this: if this Dominant doesn’t accept you, your personality, your soul that, if you’ll allow me my spiritual beliefs, is locked away in this mortal shell – because of your weight then he or she doesn’t deserve you at all.

It’s deeply saddening to me that people ask these questions, as if there is some golden rule for what’s acceptable when looking for a Dominant. It’s true that some of us struggle with body image but I think we all need to be kinder to ourselves. We need to own who we are and what we look like. And I realise that is easier said than done but can we all agree to take baby steps?

And let me tell you this. Don’t ever. EVER. let anyone put you down because you’re, what? curvy? ‘Bigger’ than anyone else? Every person that happens to be a, for want of a better word, ‘larger’ person has been some of the kindest people I have ever met. And in every universe, every alternate universe, I would choose a BBW over anyone. That’s not saying something over people who may be smaller – I wouldn’t rule anything out, as attraction is fluid, but a curvier lady would catch my attention first and foremost. Because it’s appealing to me. It’s attractive in so many ways that if I were to list them here, I would surely be branded a pervert 😛

What the media tells us and what society tells us is a bunch of bull. And we owe it ourselves not to focus on what’s ideal but what we are. Because as soon as we take the cards we have been dealt with and bring it to life, I can wager we will all be happier with ourselves.

Lastly, if any of you are struggling with these issues, issues of identity, please talk with me. The last thing I want is for readers to feel anxious and have me around to possibly help but not take me up on that offer.






11 thoughts on “Your Weight Shouldn’t Determine Your Appeal

  1. I have struggled with this since my mid thirties when out of the blue in one week’s time I put on 10 pounds while eating a low fat high fiber diet and exercising. From then on unless I was under high stress I had problems with my weight, while in my dreams I’m still slim. Then at 54, the issue was compounded when I had a mastectomy. With additional weight and one less breast, I find it difficult to believe a man would find me attractive. The thing is, I have come to understand, I feel this way because I need to learn to love and accept who I am and that I am not what others as I was growing up thought I should be. I believe a lot of our self-image comes from those cruel people or people who didn’t really understand how their words and actions were shaping the child before them. Cutting away all of that is difficult especially when there is no one around to help remind you of the wonderful person you are. It can be a hard road but it can be done with persistence and belief in one’s self. I am working on it. It is a life long journey for me. Thank you for your post. It was a good reminder to stay true to my path.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thank You So much for writing this post. It’s something I’ve needed to hear for a very long time! I’m so worried about my weight because I used to be 110 lbs and now i’m 194 because of medication (prednisone, its the devil). I worry that my Sir/husband doesn’t find me attractive anymore. He always tells me how beautiful I am, but I guess I just don’t buy it. I guess I need to accept my body and celebrate it rather than look down on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Strong words. Media has distorted our visions of beauty into lust and material desire. There’s so much more to beauty than just the physical aspect. The way a person walks, speaks, smiles, holds him or herself, every little detail comes together to make the big picture. Ignoring all the contours and seeing only the weight seems childish. We need a new weight class for “Happy” instead of just thin, fat, etc.


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