Integration into the BDSM Community

Integration into the BDSM community isn’t easy, especially if you’re a shy / anxious individual.

You know why? Because the crowd can be so pretentious. This goes for every other group of people, I know, but it’s kinda especially true for people into the lifestyle too. Especially if you are like me and adopt a very free, very fluid approach to what is normally accepted.

I joined a group on kik that were all from Fet and it seemed alright at first. Friendly people, all from the area. It was nice.

Now, given that there are 50 people in a rapidly expanding group – it was loud and constantly active. And put that with my life, constantly active….and loud and everything else, I didn’t get a whole lot of time to respond or chime in. I guess that’s what led to my exile because I checked just now to say hello and it said I was removed, a mere few days after being in the group.

And that kind of stung, because I was looking forward to integrating within a small community.

Now, not to taint any beginning minds – because this is just one experience, in a minority – but I guess what I am saying is not to let this kind of thing, if it happens to you, put you off what you are trying to do. While it is important to follow rules, you also have to follow your heart and find what works for you. Fluidity, as I like to point out.

So keep exploring, keep your head up and don’t let anyone restrict you from finding yourself. Let them teach you the rules so long as it’s useful and doesn’t impose on your own growth.

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5 thoughts on “Integration into the BDSM Community

    1. It varies, Khaleesi. I’ve met lovely people in real life and I’ve met ugly mean spirited people in real life, much like online. Although perhaps people are more likely to be rude when they have something to hide behind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This is why I wanted to write a little reminder, so those that pass through my blog yet to dive into social encounters, don’t give up. So don’t let this dissuade you or your husband, Khaleesi. I’m always happy to talk further on this.

        Liked by 1 person

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