Good afternoon, Good evening and Good morning!
I trust you all have had a wonderful week, I hope it has been fruitful and…delicious. Let’s get onto the questions!
Does a great Dom first have to be a sub?
Communication is a big part of growing as a Dominant, I believe. I learnt what I know now from experience with the lovers that have deemed me worthy of their time. In those experiences, I was always the Dominant one in and out of the bedroom and this allowed me to think about what I wanted for myself and of course, it lead me to establishing etiquette, right from wrong and when to push the submissive out of the comfort zone. I fell sometimes. Hell, I fell a lot. But it was through my experience with people that I stumbled and found out the error of my ways. In doing so, I believe I matured.
So does a Dominant have to become a submissive first before learning how to lead? I don’t think so, because the elements that make up their personality should be ever present and ready to shape itself and learn and grow. It’s not necessary for this personality to be submissive And the best way to grow is by your interactions with people. I hope this has helped.
Before getting into a D/s relationship – When two people are “courting” each other – should this be like any other relationship?
Any relationship – D/s or otherwise – needs a solid foundation there, between both partners. Dominant or submissive, you need to get along. What you are looking for in a partner factors into this – do we have similar interests? Can we curl up on the couch at the end of the day and watch our favourite show? Whatever the case when it comes to you, I think there needs to be a few months, lets say 1-3 perchance – where it’s just regular vanilla. There’s nothing wrong with vanilla, it’s delicious. So just relax and try to have fun.
Get to know one another’s traits, aspects of their personality. This is important, especially in the context of a D/s relationship, because this person is going to be your submissive or your Dominant. You need to understand if you want this level of intimacy with this person because at the end of the day, this is about you and your happiness.
So yeah, I think courting each other for a while, say, a few simple dates, is recommended. The basis of any healthy relationship is genuine affection and love – that and hard work to keep the relationship healthy and thriving. Courting will allow you to size each other up before coming to agreements on the contract and so forth.
In a relationship, this person is going to see you at your best and your worst. You’re human and generally that means we all come with flaws. At the end of the day, you might just want to cry or you might just want to hug and eat bowls of ice cream, I don’t know. The point is that we’re human and besides the D/s aspect of a relationship, this is what’s here – two people that love each other and are going to make mistakes, maybe even fight, etc. And that’s all part of the parcel and that’s beautiful. That’s life.
I rambled there but I hope that helps.
Write a thank you message to a sub, past or present, that helped you become the Dom you are today.
Thankyou, miss, for giving me the gift of your body so that we were able to explore ourselves. All those mornings you knelt beside my bed and offered yourself for my services, all those nights we pushed each other’s boundaries, all those times we couldn’t resist each other – they planted a seed within me that slowly transformed me into the person I am today. If I had to thank anyone, it would be you and your sexuality, your primal being. You lit the fire and now it’s all consuming.
I hope you all have enjoyed my responses today. For anyone else, you know the drill – leave a question either in the comment section below or at my email and I will respond in a forthcoming entry.