Reflections of my BDSM journey…

I’m quite proud of my kitten.
Every day, she recites the mantra I’ve prepared for her. Every day without fail.
Every evening, she reflects in her own journal. Sometimes I’ll get her to write fantasies, essays or such other writing tasks.

If she misheard a question, she used to go ‘huh?’ or ‘what?’, now she says ‘Excuse me, Sir?” Or “Pardon, Sir?”.

When her friends invite her out, when her family invites her over, she comes to me and seeks my approval.

When it’s time for bed, she knows to stand up straight and ask for my permission to sleep in my bed. If we are together watching a movie or otherwise, she’ll ask for my permission to go the toilet.

If I’m horny and want to come on her tits, she’ll oblige without a frown or a questioning gaze.

There are times when she stumbles, when she makes an error. No body is perfection, this I know. As her teacher, I’ll help her up and remind her of the error. If she’s out of line, the punishment will fit the crime.

She will occasionally test my authority by being bratty and disobedient. This is where being 6 ft 2 comes in handy. For all I have to do is rise to my feet and match her gaze and she instantly knows who is in charge and what that will mean if she persists.

I’m proud of my pet. She’s come so far in her journey and she’s been an excellent student. She’s read – nay – devoured the books I’ve set as texts in her training and together, we’ve battles her insecurity and raised her confidence over our time together so that she transformed into the fierce lioness that was hiding within all this time.

Something comes out in me when I tuck her into bed and see her hug the toy I hugged in my own childhood. The Daddy Dom in me takes hold and holds her tightly as well.

There is without a doubt in my mind that this woman – this lioness, baby girl, student, personal fuck toy – is my soul mate and best friend. All I have to do is look at her and I know that I was meant to be beside her. That I was meant to be her Dominant – the one that guides her, shapes her, loves her and brutalises her.

I look at her and I feel proud. Proud that she has completed training. Proud that she is a born natural. Proud that my training has paid off, that my teaching is effective to her.

With my anxiety, I wonder about my ability to be a good teacher of what I believe to be important in a D/s relationship. I get down and doubt myself. But all I have to do is look at her and know I’ve been a great trainer and with her, I feel in my heart that this what I was meant to find in my life.